[*For reference; I couldn't find the exact image that Mike displayed in this sermon video, so I've included two that together are close approximations, pasted just below.]
[Also, for some reason, I was unable to dig up the video again to share; somehow I neglected to email it to myself the first time I came across it. So I apologize on that front.]
Transcription
If you see this on [today's date], God knew you needed to hear this. Your life isn't falling apart; it's falling [into] place. Because when you're down to nothing, God is up to something. I know you think that if God's working in your life, if God's got a great plan for you, that means your life is gonna be sunshine and rainbows, [and] it's gonna be smooth sailing. But that's not the case. Look at this picture right here. You see that plan on the left*(see comment and images above)? That's your plan. Point A to Point B. Easy, no trials and tribulations. But look at that plan on the right*(see comment and images above). That's God's plan. It's got the hills, it's got the climb, it's a lot tougher than the plan on the left. But guess what? That path is way better. Look at all the flowers it has. Look at how much better it is. I'm here to tell you that God is not wasting your pain. No matter what you're going through right now, no matter how difficult it is, God has a purpose for your pain. The same way grapes are crushed to make wine, olives are pressed to make oil, seeds grow in darkness, diamonds form under pressure, a glow stick has to break before it glows, if you feel crushed, pressed, in darkness, or under pressure, you better just give God the spatula right now, because He's about to cook! God is about to take your setback and turn it into a setup for a comeback. And with God, the comeback is always greater than the setback. God is shaping you and molding you. Getting better always feels like you're getting worse first. Think about a seed: when you plant a seed in the ground, what happens? Nothing; it looks like it died. But underneath [in] the dirt where you can't see, that seed is breaking open. And that's how God works too: before Jesus multiplied the bread, He broke it. Sometimes God has to break you before He blesses you, because He has to break who you were to make room for who you're meant to be. And then what happens next in the seed process, it starts growing down before it grows up. And that's what God does, too: He takes you deeper before He takes you higher. And then guess what: that seed starts growing up, it starts as a tiny little sprout, and before you know it, that little seed becomes a tree. The Bible says, "at just the right time, we will reap a harvest of blessing if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:8) And I'm here to tell you on this [today's date], don't give up. It's not a coincidence [that] your life has been getting harder. The devil doesn't attack people going in the wrong direction, and God doesn't give His toughest battles to His weakest soldiers. Maybe your path is harder because your calling is higher. Sometimes the wait is longer because the blessing is bigger. Can I get [an] Amen?
After being healed a week prior in a prayer meeting with my pastor and one of our elders, I fell into the sort of sin that, once committed, undid the healing work in my body. On the morning in which the above sermon showed up in my YouTube feed, I repented and cried out to the Lord:
For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.” Romans 10:13, NKJV
I cried out to Him to please forgive me and to heal me. After all, He did heal me the prior week; He can do it again. I also want to believe what Mike was saying in his video, especially about God having a purpose for my pain (even now), and God breaking me, including the "who I was" in order to make room for "who I am meant to be," so He can bless me with whatever. I think about what Peter wrote:
Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 1 Peter 4:12-13, NKJV
The thing is, my life has been constantly riddled with all sorts of different hardships -- and over the last 2 or so years I've been discovering that many of those things were my fault (ouch) even despite my truly not understanding what was going on. So as much as I believe I truly would love to grab hold of the Biblical truths, I question whether much, if any, of these things apply to me, because of my track record of disobedience. I've always had a hard life, and I don't think that my life has gotten noticeably harder since when I say I got saved, in 2013. So, by this analysis, it would appear that either I've always been saved (unlikely, thanks to the doctrine of original sin), or I've never been saved (which I think is also unlikely; at least I'm hoping so, since I've repeatedly professed my faith in Jesus).
What I'll need to do -- and I choose to do this -- is to go ahead and grab hold of the promises of God that Mike outlined, and if I'm wrong, then have God Himself correct me. Therefore, this is not the end of the story, this pain related to my gut ( the physical pain as well as the emotional, mental, and spiritual pains) will be used by God to serve some kind of purpose (He has my permission to do so), and the comeback that God is setting me up for is going to be far greater than any setback I've ever had! In Jesus's name, Amen.
Bless the Lord, O my soul! O my soul! Worship His holy name!Sing like never before, O my soul! I'll worship Your holy name!The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning; it's time to sing Your song again;Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes.Bless the Lord, O my soul! O my soul! Worship His holy name!Sing like never before, O my soul! I'll worship Your holy name!Excerpt from "10,000 Reasons" by Matt Redman
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