For a milieu of reasons, I will need to keep this post short. My reading has been about as consistent (or sporadic) as it has been. I've been connecting with Isaiah 40 and 41, where the text reaches the more encouraging parts of the book. I have several passages from each of these chapters that I could spend time sharing and exploring, but for now I will focus on one:
6 A voice says, “Cry out.”
And I said, “What shall I cry?”
“All people are like grass,
and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
7 The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the Lord blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
8 The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God endures forever.”
Here are the questions I wrote in my prep notes for the next Bible study meeting:
this is a humbling passage in terms of looking at our lives and the preciousness of time. When you reflect on how short life really is, what does that make you think? In terms of how to live your life? In terms of your relationship with God? In terms of what God may be calling you to do here while you still have time?
I'm currently recovering from a recent flareup in my gut, the same issue that hospitalized me last summer. I do believe God healed me from the intensity of the flareup/sickness from last summer, but I also am recognizing that the healing is not yet complete. Also, having learned in the intervening year about further gut history on both sides of my family, I'm realizing this is prevalent but overcomeable. About a week or so ago, though, for a couple days I became aware of how mortal I really am. I suspect as humans, most of us are generally in good health, most of the time. As such we can subconsciously begin to assume that we are invincible. I know I certainly did and have thought that. I also was reflecting from a post I had posted earlier this summer about how many famous composers died young. I'm now right in that age zone where many of them dropped dead. Since I am doing considerably better (praise God!) health-wise than I did on those days when that awareness came to me, I'm not really thinking about my mortality now. But, even assuming a decent-length life (70, 80, 90 years), time moves. Human bodies will still continue to pass away until the time of Jesus' return.
So, I'll go ahead and answer the above questions from my prep notes which I plan to pose and answer in our next Bible study:
I've already covered the first point in the paragraph above. Simply, the passage makes me realize how mortal I really am and how short time really is, whether or not I "die young" or live an average-length life.
In terms of how to live my life, it should make me prioritize living for Jesus first, even in spite of my fleshly protests (I still wrestle with wanting to live "the good American life," my way). However, when I think on this question, I flash back to a men's retreat back in the fall of 2014, where I was given this following question to spend an indeterminate amount of time to ponder: "what are you and God going to do with your one and only life that you have to live?" We were outside, it was evening (after sunset), and I remember sitting in a chair overlooking the lake in front of me. I don't recall the total amount of time I found myself sitting there, but it was a very powerful moment: sitting with that question with absolutely zero external distractions. To this day, I don't remember what I came up with, but I remember sitting there thinking about the fact that I only have one life, and once it's gone, it's gone.
So to conclude, to live for God first and foremost, to live according to His Word (which also means spending regular time in it daily), and to then do whatever God asks me to do. This also means prioritizing my relationship with Him above every other relationship, including my love, including my parents, including my friends, and especially including those that I still get triggered by.
Aside from this Bible study I'm currently leading, I haven't really heard much else. I know I have musical gifts, and I want to be sure that I keep doing something with it. I had an "Immanuel Approach" prayer session with a friend in fall 2019 during which I got a sense of Jesus' joy simply when I improvise on the piano. I know that I have other musical aspirations that I hope to pursue in my busy schedule, as well.
Other updates: I have accepted a second, part-time job as a worship leader assistant at a Presbyterian church in Lake Forest. I've also heard that a couple of my Bible study attendees have both expressed a desire for meeting more often. I need to follow up on that. I'm interested, for multiple reasons. However, I will need to get clear on what is desired and then, with God's help, come up with a plan to see this through. After experiencing the joy I felt (and apparently also saw), it's not any wonder that this group is taking off. My desire is to still keep this simple. It's an informal group of a small group of people getting together to study God's Word, pray, and encourage one another.
More to come.