Revelation on F major

When I was in college, one of the things I learned in my music history classes was how the keys of F and G major were considered "outdoor" keys in the Renaissance, Baroque, and Classical eras. G major I could see, particularly out in the woods or the fields. But F major I had trouble understanding how it could be considered as such. Then last night it hit me: it fits the water/maritime theme. I can hear it while imagining I'm out on a large body of water, particularly an ocean, on a cruise liner. Then again, maybe the movie "Titanic" ["http://www.titanicmovie.com/"] may have had something to do with that.

[Just looked it up, the movie's theme song is called "My heart will go on" ["http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saalGKY7ifU"] by Celine Dion. Hmm, never knew that before. I'm familiar with the melody because of a piano transcription a childhood friend of mine learned to play back in the day. And as I'm listening to the track, it's got some of the "outdoor" instruments, like pan flute (or more accurately, a concert flute imitating the sounds a pan flute would make). Unfortunately, the song modulates to A major at the end, but it still

I want to write a song based on some words God told me a couple months ago when I was completely down in the dumps on life. I will link you to this post from 6 Jan 2012 ["http://confessionbyainsertidentityhere.blogspot.com/2012/01/power-of-prophecy.html"]. I've never really tried to write a worship or devotional song before (and no, the Anglican choral tradition anthems I wrote as a kid don't count as they are a completely different genre altogether), so this will be an interesting new frontier for me. What I have decided so far are 2 things: 1.) the key will be F major, and 2.) I already have the chord progressions for the introduction and the chorus.

Daily Prayer Script

This particular prayer is from RansomedHeart.com ["http://RansomedHeart.com/"] ~ felt like sharing this, to all who might benefit.

My dear Lord Jesus, I come to you now to be restored in you -- to renew my place in you, my allegiance to you, and to receive from you all the grace and mercy I so desperately need this day. I honor you as my sovereign Lord, and I surrender every aspect of my life totally and completely to you. I give you my body as a living sacrifice; I give you my heart, soul, mind and strength; and I give you my spirit as well. I cover myself with your blood -- my spirit, my soul, and my body. And I ask your Holy Spirit to restore my union with you, seal me in you, and guide me in this time of prayer.

Dear God, holy and victorious Trinity, you alone are worthy of all my worship, my heart's devotion, all my praise and all my trust and all the glory of my life. I worship you, bow to you and give myself over to you in my heart's search for life. You alone are Life, and you have become my life. I renounce all other gods, all idols, and I give you the place in my heart and in my life that you truly deserve. I confess here and now that it is all about you, God, and not about me. You are the Hero of this story, and I belong to you. Forgive me, God, for my every sin. Search me and know me and reveal to me any aspect of my life that is not pleasing to you, and grant me the grace of a deep and true repentance.

Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me and choosing me before you made the world. You are my true Father -- my Creator, my Redeemer, my Sustainer and the true end of all things, including my life. I love you, I trust you, I worship you. Thank you for proving your love for me by sending your only Son, Jesus, to be my substitute and representative. I open up my life anew to all of his Life and all his Work which you ordained for me. Thank you for including me in Christ, for forgiving me my sins, for granting me his righteousness, for making me complete in him. Thank you for making me alive with Christ, raising me with him, seating me with him at your right hand, granting me his authority and anointing me with your Holy Spirit. I receive it all with thanks and give it total claim to my life.

Jesus, thank you for coming for me, for ransoming me with your own life. I honor you as my Lord, I love you, worship you, trust you. I embrace you as my redemption, and I receive all the work and triumph of your Crucifixion, whereby I am cleansed from all my sin through your shed blood, my old nature is removed, my heart is circumcised unto God, and every claim being made against me is disarmed. I take my place in your cross and death, whereby I have died with you to sin and to my flesh, to the world, and to the evil one. I take up my cross and crucify my flesh with all its pride, unbelief, and idolatry. I put off the old man. I now bring the cross of Christ between me and all people, all spirits, all things. Holy Spirit, apply to me the fullness of the work of the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ for me. I receive it with thanks and give it total claim to my life.

Jesus, I also embrace you as my new life, my holiness and sanctification, and I receive all the work and triumph of your Resurrection, whereby I have been raised with you to a new life, to walk in newness of life, dead to sin and alive to God. I am crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. I now take my place in your Resurrection, whereby I have been made alive with you, I reign in life through you. I now put on the new man in all holiness and humility, in all righteousness and purity and truth. Christ is now my life, the one who strengthens me. Holy Spirit, apply to me the fullness of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ for me. I receive it with thanks and give it total claim to my life.

Jesus, I also sincerely embrace you as my authority and rule, my everlasting victory over Satan and his kingdom, and I receive all the work and triumph of your Ascension, whereby Satan has been judged and cast down, his rulers and authorities disarmed, all authority in heaven and on earth given to you, Jesus, and I have been given fullness in you, the head over all. I take my place in your Ascension, whereby I have been raised with you to the right hand of the Father and established with you in all authority.  I bring your authority and your kingdom rule over my life, my family, my household, and my domain.

And now I bring the fullness of your work -- your Cross, Resurrection, and Ascension -- against Satan, against his kingdom, and against all his emissaries and all their work warring against me and my domain. Greater is he who is in me than he who is in the world. Christ has given me authority to overcome all the power of the evil one, and I claim that authority now over and against every enemy, and I banish them in the Name of Jesus Christ. Holy Spirit, apply to me the fullness of the work of the Ascension of Jesus Christ for me. I receive it with thanks and give it total claim to my life.

Holy Spirit, I sincerely embrace you as my Counselor, my Comforter, my Strength and my Guide. Thank you for sealing me in Christ. I honor you as my Lord, and I ask you to lead me into all truth, to anoint me for all of my life and walk and calling, and to lead me deeper into Jesus today. I fully open my life to you in every dimension and aspect -- my body, my soul, and my spirit -- choosing to be filled with you, to walk in step with you in all things. Apply to me, blessed Holy Spirit, all of the work and all of the gifts in Pentecost. Fill me afresh, blessed Holy Spirit. I receive you with thanks and give you total claim to my life.

Heavenly Father, thank you for granting to me every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus. I receive those blessings into my life today and I ask the Holy Spirit to bring all those blessings into my life this day. Thank you for the blood of Jesus. Wash me once more with his blood from every sin and stain and evil device. I put on your armor -- the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the readiness of the Gospel of peace, the helmet of salvation. I take up the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God, and I wield these weapons against the evil one in the power of God. I choose to pray at all times in the Spirit, to be strong in you, Lord, and in your might.

Father, thank you for your angels. May they guard me at all times this day. Thank you for those who pray for me; I confess I need their prayers and I ask you to send forth your Spirit and rouse them, unite them, raising up the full canopy of prayer and intercession for me. I call forth the kingdom of the Lord Jesus Christ this day throughout my home, my family, my life and my domain. I pray all of this in the name of Jesus Christ, with all glory and honor and thanks to him.

Romans 8, pts 1 and 2 expounded

The 8th chapter of Paul's letter to the church in Rome is divided into three sections: 1.) life through the Spirit; 2.) present suffering and future glory, and 3.) more than conquerors (through Christ, we are). I know I haven't copied the third part yet, and I may not do so, in which case I'll just link you to it here ["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%208&version=NIV"] (just scroll down toward the bottom).

Life through the Holy Spirit means crucifying our flesh and putting on Christ. We have things we want in life, and God has things he wants for us. Oftentimes there's a struggle. We might desire a job, or a house, or a car, or a particular member of the opposite sex (for those of us who are are single -- it's Singles Appreciation Week, btw), but it often happens that we either do not have the means to acquire such an object or standing, or the so-called "object" does not desire us back. It sucks when we don't get what we want, especially the more we want it. This type of living causes death because it narrows our focus to the one thing (or person) that we want and we're miserable when we don't get it. Even if we are surrounded by multitudinous other blessings (i.e. family, friends, community, what-have-you), we can't appreciate what we do have. This is what Paul means when he says "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires," (v. 5) and "The mind governed by the flesh is death" (v. 6).

I've been there. For whatever reason, I've struggled to let go of this intense desire to have someone of the opposite sex, and the real culprits to this struggle (i.e. some other crap that has happened in my life over the years) somehow manage to disappear, making it seem like I only really have this one problem (and that I actually have this problem, in which parts of it I actually don't). Over the last couple years I've had to force myself to really let go of a couple individuals, and it has felt like death.

For the spring "semester" in small groups at my church, every Thursday I participate in a group where a bunch of men get together to do some intensive healing work. The idea is that we lay our souls bare, understand what's really been hurting us, and by the end of the 12-week period make some headway in healing. Because of the confidential nature of the group, I will not share my work (and I certainly cannot share others' work), but I will say that I made the beginnings of a breakthrough last night. The more often, and the more consistently I do this, the real pains will heal, and the imaginary ("fake") pains will be lessened, because they will soon have nowhere to hide.

In conjunction with the quotes three paragraphs ago, Paul also writes that "those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires" (v.5) and "the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace" (v. 6). I recently started reading the Daily Prayer Script from RansomedHeart.com ["http://RansomedHeart.com/"] that a friend of mine shared with me over a year ago. This prayer is very thorough, and very similar to the themes in Romans 8. When I pray it, I get a sense of the beginnings of an actual transformation from trying to live my life the way I want vs. living how God wants. I pray for a complete transformation, a covering of Jesus' blood on me to a.) blot out my sins, b.) accept the full work of Christ's crucifixion to my flesh, c.) accept the full work of his resurrection and triumph over the enemy and all sources of death in my life, d.) accept the authority he has given me, and e.) accept all his works his ascension into heaven.

Paul talks about suffering in the second section. We are still living in enemy-occupied territory. [For any skeptics of this idea, I only need to point out that we still have war, famine, pestilence, things that the devil puts on us; Paul also writes "We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time" (v. 22).] The enemy attacks us and tries to thwart us in our transformation from living in the flesh to living in the Spirit. I know I have been attacked and thwarted many times. But I also know that I can call on God to pull me through, to encourage me to fight for the transformation and resultant peace he so longs me to have. But above all, Paul says that the rewards on the other side of the war are worth it: "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" (v. 18). Moreover, he says that "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who ["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%208&version=NIV#fen-NIV-28145i"] have been called according to his purpose" (v. 28).

I will share that I am at place where I don't really know where my life is going right now. I've been blessed for the last two years to have felt safe where I didn't have to worry about much (even when I was fighting some spiritual battles). A dear friend is leaving next week -- we're having the send-off party tonight (which reminds me, I need to get over there before it's over!) -- and I'm struggling to connect and belong. I'm still struggling with some pains that have been sitting inside of me, and throw in the work situation, and you could definitely say I've been in a trial of some sort. But, thanks to Paul and to RansomedHeart.com, I know that with God's help and my commitment to his help, I can pull through. I have been told by at least a couple sources that there is hope. I'm going to need all the hope I can get.

Romans 8, pt 2 -- to expound later

So I am becoming increasingly aware that I'm putting myself in a bit of a blog-writing debt, but I wanted to copy the second part of Romans 8. When I was in New York I got a tip from a friend about this particular chapter having spoken volumes to her about some similar struggles that I've been fighting with off-and-on for a long, long time. Without further ado, here is Romans 8:18-28, New International Version ["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%208&version=NIV"]

18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%208&version=NIV#fen-NIV-28145i"]

["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%208&version=NIV#fen-NIV-28138h"]

On a side note, I'm really getting into Craig Hella Johnson and his choir Conspirare, but that will have to wait for another time.

New York: Credits and emotions

 

A few days before I flew out to Newark, New Jersey on Friday, I emailed God asking him what he wanted this weekend to be for me. I had been worrying that old pains and triggers would come up (I was visiting some people I hadn't seen in a long time, some of whom had intersected my life in a way that wasn't good for me back in the day), and even if they didn't come up where I'd expected them to come, I feared they would show up in other ways and other places.

 

A few weeks ago (now that I think about it, it was about a month ago), I received prayer for peace. I have it tonight, and I feel that for the most part I had it while I was out East. I needed it. I needed to know that I could hang out with someone who used to terrorize me and not only be ok with it but actually enjoy it, too. I needed to know that I could hang out with another person, have a deep and satisfying conversation (deep perhaps for the first time), and not have my heart yanked in a direction that isn't good for it. And I needed to know that I could still find a way to do God's work for yet someone else, brokenness be damned.

 

I suppose I could share a quick list of all the people I ran into over the course of the weekend (Tom, Hank, Robyn, Gerry, Sam, David, Dan, Nate, Stephen, Geoff, Andrew, Nancy, Marianne, Toni, Amanda, Pat, and about 3-4 people whose names I don't know); it's always nice to run into people that I know or used to know. But I couldn't have more fully experienced the peace God wanted me to have without Matt, Stephanie, and Mitch. ... I miss you guys already.

 

It's weird; just about every time I've flown from New York to Chicago I've been excited to come to the Midwest. Yesterday, I was bummed. I mean, the length of the trip was about right for me, but I wasn't expecting this sensation to hit me. I guess it's all about the situation: back in the day, I lived in New York, and Chicago was someplace I visited; now I live in Chicago and visit New York.

 

I have a tendency to then lapse into a tangent about what I'm feeling about something else, but I think I am going to try and choose to sit with this. It was a good trip, and I'm glad I went. I gotta try and learn how to sit with this Peace.

 

Postscript: I need to more fully delve into Romans 8. I got a tip that it in itself has potential to pierce me, and I've already read through it once since my return, but I feel that I need to spend some more time with it.