Creating
this post arose out of originally wanting to wrap up the previous post nicely
and neatly, only for me to realize that that was impossible. I hate to end
posts with bad news, because as important as awareness of the Bad News is, it
is also very important to know the Good News, and just as importantly, why it
is good news.
In the
previous post I felt moved to write and post about a friend that I believe God
has put on my heart. It’s tricky, because even now two-and-a-half years later, he still hasn’t reached out since we last
talked, but I don’t believe that the ball is in my court. The short
version is that the way our friendship has been structured over the last decade of it has limited our connection time. Even with it, there was a rhythm that we found
that worked, and even when COVID hit, we agreed on regular video chats to keep
our sanity and morale up, and to keep connected.
I have a
suspicion as to the reason he chose not to reach out. There were various events
over the last few years I’ve been able to piece together. I detailed most of
them in the previous post. One aspect I didn’t address, however, was that I
didn’t notice right away that our connection had dropped. A big part of it is
that most of 2021 I’ve been crazy busy, and it’s only been recently that I’ve
had time to rest and catch up on other things.
I did
notice it a few months in. But, between work, school, applying for (and
getting) another job in a completely different field, a wonderful relationship,
getting really sick, and ending up in the hospital, this situation was pushed
to the back burner. And now that I have a suspicion as to what the reason for
the drop in our connection might be, I realize that he and I both not only
stand oppositely on this topic but also staunchly on our respective stances. If
you read the last couple paragraphs of the previous post, you’ll understand at
least my side of it. I cannot budge or back down. And normally I wouldn’t harp
on this – after all, when I was pro-gay marriage, one of the things that
angered me the most was precisely that it felt like Christians were
harping on this topic too much! – but I’ve seen in more recent years that, no,
actually it’s the worldly pro-gay humanists that have been doing most of the
harping. We believers respond because we must stand up for our faith, for our
God. We must speak hard truth at times!
I closed
last post doing precisely that. That said, I also want to emphasize that it is not
only possible but mandatory to speak hard truth, while loving the person. The
first truth I will speak is that sexuality is not identity. (Here are things that the Bible says IS identity.) The second truth I will speak is that the person who
thinks he or she is gay has been deceived about himself or herself, about who he
or she really is. I’m not saying same-sex attraction isn’t real; it is. But
because there is a God who made the universe (a universe that didn’t “evolve”),
what He declares about us, laid clearly in the Bible, is true. Anything to
contrary is therefore untrue.
The third
truth I will speak is that there is definitely a choice. Because homosexuality
is defined in Scripture as the act of sex between two members of the same
sex (and not feelings of romantic attraction for another member of
the same sex), when I say it is a choice, what I am saying is that any
act of sex, homosexuality, heterosexuality, bestiality, is a choice. It may not
be a choice to feel feelings of attraction for another member of the same sex.
But it is absolutely a choice whether or not a person acts on it sexually. It
is also certainly a choice whether a person marries another person or not (1 Corinthians 7:8-9, 1 Corinthians 7:27), regardless of what sex the other person is. I’m
sorry, but these things I’ve just stated, they aren’t my truth. These are God’s
truths, among many others which I am now about to share. Thankfully, these will
be much happier truths.
The fourth
truth is that in addition to making the universe (Genesis 1:1-5), God made every person (Genesis 2:7). That means
you – and I mean, YOU – are fearfully and wonderfully made, in His image, and
He Himself formed our inward parts, covering us in the mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-15). That
means that He was making us before we were born.
The fifth
truth is that, because God made us, He loves us. (John 3:16-17, John 16:27) I will come back to this a bit later,
because it’s too important not to mention now, and it’s too important not to go
into greater depth later.
The sixth truth is that the world is screwed up because Satan deceived Adam and Eve, and he has attempted to deceive everyone who has ever lived, ever since. He is still trying to deceive people now. (1 Peter 5:8-9) It was never God’s fault for the world being so messed up. My point being, when Adam and Eve gave into the temptation and became deceived, that led to their spiritual death. (Genesis 3:4-5) No, they didn’t die physically, as the serpent (aka Satan) only sort-of correctly said. But where God was right and Satan was wrong was that they died spiritually. (Genesis 2:16-17, Genesis 3:7-8, Genesis 3:19) Prior to their choice to touch (let alone eat) of the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, Adam and Eve enjoyed constant closeness and fellowship with God. But when they disobeyed God when He had said to not touch it, they broke an aspect of the trust-relationship with Him. And one of the effects of that event is that every human being who’s ever been born since then, was born from that spiritually broken place.
Unfortunately, the seventh truth is that it’s not ok to do nothing and stay in that spiritually broken place, separated from the God who made heaven and earth. (Romans 6:23) Unfortunately, the end result of doing nothing to make right one’s relationship with God is death, destruction, and one day, being thrown into the Lake of Fire. (Revelation 20:15) Someone might retort and say that this sounds like nothing more than kissing God’s butt, but I will retort back and reiterate that because God made the universe, He also gets to make up the rules. He’s in charge; you are not. (Psalm 93:1, Psalm 135:6-7)
I will also reiterate the fifth truth, which is that God loves you. If you believe God, if you give your life to Him and follow His ways, He will reward you. (Hebrews 11:6) This isn't about kissing God's butt; this is about a God who wants a relationship with you, one where you choose out of your own free will to receive such a one with Him. (1 Timothy 2:3-4) Within the organic construct of such a relationship, there are rewards for obeying His commands, and discipline for disobeying His commands, just like a parent rewards – or disciplines – his or her children for the same parallel reasons. (Hebrews 12:6-7)
The fifth
truth, continued: God realized that even though He made
laws for people to follow, time and time again humanity proved that they could
not. Their own efforts, no matter the generation, could never measure up to God’s
holy standards. (Psalm 95:7-11, Hebrews 3:7-11) After all, Moses, a leader that so many people of the
Jewish faith today look up to, a man who obeyed God so many times and took step
of faith after step of faith after incredibly bold step of faith (Hebrews 11:24-28), was
not allowed to enter into the Promised Land, even though God had originally
promised it. Why? Because of a lack of faith which developed over time, Moses struck the
rock instead of speaking to it, which God had commanded. (Numbers 20:7-12) When he disbelieved and therefore disobeyed Him, that was it. No more
Promised Land for him!
Some people might ask, wasn't that harsh on God's part? Especially for such a great leader like Moses? The thing is, that's not for me to decide. I use this event to first illustrate how holy and high God is, as well as the standards of right living that He has decided for us. (Leviticus 11:45, Isaiah 6:2-3, Isaiah 43:15, Revelation 4:8, Revelation 15:4) We are also supposed to act in faith based on what He tells us to do, no matter what, which Moses didn't do. Now consider King David,
generations later. Like Moses, David acted in faith, took on giants that others
feared (1 Samuel 17:26-51), led Israel, was often on the run for his life, including from son
Absalom and King Saul, and still maintained close fellowship with God through
it all. (Psalm 77:10)
But then
again, David lusted after a hot young woman who happened to bathe – naked – in a
pool within the king’s view. (2 Samuel 11:2-5) I have heard through different radio sermons
that he was in a low spot mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Nonetheless,
the following questions pertain: did David go get help? Did he seek counsel or
encouragement from a man that he trusts to share his innermost secrets with? Did
he even talk to God? No. He went after her, went in to her, then had her
husband killed (and covered it up) so he could have her. (2 Samuel 11:14-17)
By that
logic, because of God’s holiness, shouldn’t He have killed David on the spot?
It’s not for me to decide. Point is, David repented, because he immediately realized that he was 100% in the wrong, and God gave him mercy and
grace. (2 Samuel 12:13)
Even though he committed adultery, committed murder, and then covered up a
murder, he got a second shot at life. He got the woman he wanted, as well as
having children with her. God allowed him to continue reigning as king of
Israel. I use this to illustrate an example of God’s incredible, ridiculous
grace, even though at the same time He is incredibly holy. (By the way, there
wasn’t a lack of hard truth for David!) (2 Samuel 12:7-12)
The point
being, one aspect of Biblical history is that it’s a history of humans – of
humanity – being hopelessly unable to be holy, which God has required of each
and every one of us. Enter Jesus, the Messiah, the real life equivalent (and
then some) of Moses’ “snake on a stick” which was used as an opportunity for
the Israelites to gaze into it and live. (Numbers 21:8-9) Like those Israelites, we are all
sick. Because of Adam and Eve’s disobeying God leading to spiritual death, we
are all born spiritually dead. (Romans 5:12, Romans 5:18, Ephesians 2:2-3) Because of God’s
holiness and our hopeless lack of ability to be holy, we all deserve immediate
destruction. (Romans 6:23)
But because of His mercy and grace and willingness to forgive, by way of
sacrificing His one and only son, Jesus the Messiah, to be arrested (Matthew 26:47-50), brutally tortured (Matthew 27:26), mocked (Matthew 27:27-31), and ultimately abandoned on a
Roman crucifix. (Matthew 27:35) And yes, Jesus died, passed away out of the flesh, on that cross.
(Matthew 27:45-50, Mark 15:33-37, Luke 23:44-46, John 19:30)
Neither
Jesus, nor God the Father who made the universe, nor the Holy Spirit, willingly
did this act of sacrifice out his “acceptance” of us, nor His “tolerance” of
us. No; God the Father sacrificed His one and only son Jesus out of His incredibly
abundant love for all of us, including people who say they’re gay. (John 3:16) God loves gay
people too much to not tell them that continuing in their unholy sexual acts (Leviticus 18:22) and
unholy marriages (Matthew 19:3-9, Mark 10:2-9) leads to death and destruction (Matthew 7:13), just like
He loves everyone else guilty of different wrong acts to not tell them the same.
“Acceptance” and “tolerance” are not love; in fact, they are forms of apathy,
which is what God is not.
[For those astute enough to realize I used some of the same exact Bible verses as from last post, and angry enough to complain about it, reusing the same verse over and over doesn’t weaken the truth that God speaks through it. If I reuse a verse, it means it’s too important not to repeat. After all, the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, the plumb line that determines how far off from right living that person is living. After all, all scripture is useful for teaching, for correction, and to equip every believer for every assignment that God might have for us while on earth. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)]
I forgot
the most important thing in the Bible: after dying, Jesus came back from the
dead to life (Matthew 28:1-8). He resurrected (1 Corinthians 15:20-22). That is why we have churches and
Christians and crosses and everything. It’s why, 2,000 years later, even after
many, many, many attempts to shut down the church, the church is still here.
Something must have sustained us this long. Take nations, empires, and dynasties.
No nation lasts forever. Unless an entity has God’s divine blessing and
protection, it crumbles and perishes. But Jesus conquered death. (1 Corinthians 15:57) Therefore,
it is God, through the Holy Spirit, that has sustained His church all this
time. Therefore, death can be beaten. Yes, you read this right: death itself
can be beaten. (1 Corinthians 15:51-57) No, we will likely still pass away out of the
flesh when it’s time. But spiritually, spiritually, we don’t have to
give in to death. (2 Corinthians 5:17) We can choose to fight, to fight for ourselves, our freedoms, and
especially our freedom to worship the God of the Bible in ways that please Him.
Therefore,
when I fight, using my words, in this example I’m not fighting gay people. (Ephesians 6:12) I’m
fighting the lies and the deception that has gay people ensnared, trapped, and
so overwhelmed by what they’ve been led to believe about their identity. To
clarify further, I’m not even fighting a gay person’s identity. I’m not
fighting the identity of my childhood best friend, nor the identity my choir
director from my childhood, nor that of even my family members. As far as I’m
concerned, their identities can be in Jesus Christ, if they want it to be. But
they have to understand and agree that once they do, their lives are on God’s
terms, and not their own. (Galatians 2:20) And part of agreeing to living their lives on God’s
terms will mean saying goodbye to any prospects of a same-sex partner, same-sex
sexual experiences, and any same-sex unions, in order to then be able to
receive the promises that God, even the God of the Bible, has for them.
Regardless, this is all their choice. All I can do is speak. And I know I said this last post, but it bears repeating: to my childhood best friend, if he’s been reading this and has made it even this far, and he wants to talk to me about it, the door is indeed open. I do expect to be busy, but I also plan to make myself available when I can. As for the question of, “well, why don’t you reach out to him?” my answer is simply this: I don’t really have the desire or energy to get into an argument with him over this. I want him to reach out to me only when he’s ready, if it is indeed true that he has chosen not to communicate with me on account of “the post” that I’ve referenced a few times now. If he’s reading this sentence right now, he knows where I stand and that I’m not going to budge. But I hope he also knows that I still love him like a brother and want good for him.* I want him to know Jesus and to finally decide to receive Him as his personal Lord and Savior. I don’t even want to have to say a word to him about homosexuality. I would rather let the God of the Bible gently and lovingly talk to him about that. Because that’s what God did for me.
[*Update: I felt it necessary to put a footnote here. As with yesterday's post, I originally sketched this in 2021, when my emotions were more raw. Like I also mentioned yesterday, my emotions about this friend has shifted, with more time having passed. It's not that I don't love him or care about him; I still do. But, as you'll see in tomorrow's post, I've moved on from expecting or hoping that the friendship can be revived. Any conversation between us now would look a lot different compared with what it might have a year-and-a-half ago. I'm still open to it if he does want to talk, but it's no longer a priority. I have other more important things in my life going on now, and my focus is on those things.]