Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4, NKJV
After writing “A Faraway State of Mind 4,” posted at the end
of 2011, I took a very long hiatus from writing, which also eventually included
blogging. These hiatuses were so long that I truly didn’t expect to ever write
again, whether it were stories or blog posts. Way in the back of my mind, I did
have a feeling that I might potentially write a storyline that ultimately became
“A Faraway State of Mind 5.” Even though the other shoe didn’t drop until much
more recently, I did have an understanding for quite a few years that this
would be a plot line to use for this series. However, it wasn’t until the
storylines for both installments #5 and #6 began to materialize (mostly) in my
life that I finally pulled the trigger on writing these novellas, both in 2022.
Installments #1 through #4 were means of processing
(creatively, of course) an ache in my heart that April Mae York eventually does
for Thomas. Like Maggie and Kristen had done before for him, their real-life
inspirations helped to awaken in me not only a God-given desire but also mountains
of other pain I had buried that I needed to finally face and address in order
to receive healing, in the time that I knew them. But in order to effectively
write these stories, both in the earlier installments as well as the more
recent ones, I needed to not only fictionalize their characters but also
combine some of the muses that contributed to these characters. For example,
the real-life inspiration for Kristen was not the same person who first
introduced my love and myself to each other. But in the heat of the moment, I
decided it worked well enough, and as I continued writing I found I could build
on the fictional friendship between her and April Mae.
I share the above to also indicate that, as part of my
desire to protect all aspects of my love’s identity, I also had to fictionalize
aspects of her personality, her interests, and the like, just like I had done
with just about every other character.
With all that out of the way, today’s post is me sharing how
grateful I am for my fiancée, my love, the woman that I believe God put in my
life. Because I am. I love her. She’s cute, Godly, caring, sweet, creative,
hardworking, patient, grace-giving, and we have many, many things in common.
She gave me a second and a third chance early in our dating
relationship, first when I stepped away from the relationship to tend to some
crises occurring in my life at the time, and second about a month later when I
made a decision for myself that led her to briefly seriously question continuing
to date me before changing her mind. We had a minor argument, her challenging
my decision, and me challenging the assumptions she had made about me. I’m not
sure I would call it an argument, as the conversation wasn’t at all heated like
I may be making it out to be. The bottom line is, this back-and-forth resulted
in us developing a greater understanding of each other’s position once we each
clarified our thoughts and thought processes. It was a really sweet moment, one
that helped us each grow in compassion for one another.
A year later, when it was clear that I needed to go to the
ER after having been battling a fever for a week straight, it was my love and her
mom who came over to get me and drive me to the hospital.
We’ve shared a lot of fun moments, watching silly kitty
videos (even though she’s allergic to cats), visiting various flower gardens in
the area, teaching piano lessons together, occasional movies, and even
collaborating on a song composition or two.
There is one Bible passage that really captures what I see
in her (and what I believe God sees in her) that I will share in a moment. I
even wrote a song around this text as a birthday gift to her and even played it
for her. In her humble, self-deprecating way, she has quipped: “I hope I can
someday be like that woman.”
10 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
I believe that she already is, but if there are any ways
where she is not, I believe God can and will help her, just like He’s helping
me to further become the man I need to be for her.
