So long, Minnesota, I hardly knew ye

Over the last couple months I've been saying to myself and to friends that "I'm at the end of the line, I might be leaving very soon if I don't find work." Well, it appears that time has come. Now, I'm not all that crazy about Minnesota winters, so on the one hand I wouldn't mind being somewhere warmer, even if it's only slightly warmer. I would also get to spend the 25th with my folks (weather permitting).

Outside of that, though, it seems unfair that I'm leaving a place where I'm just now realizing the roots I seem to have laid. Back on Friday I went to my choir's holiday party at one member's house, and amid the food, fellowship, singing, and a intense game of Catchphrase, it seemed I had successfully managed to blend socially with the group (if you know me, normally something like that would be an intense challenge). Towards the end of the night, several choir members somehow learned that I wasn't going to be back in January due to my situation, and we probably spent half an hour right at the end trying to figure out where there might be openings. All this time I'd known I wasn't really planning on staying in Northfield too long, and yet I've managed to make somewhat of a home with a chunk of the population here. I kinda want to leave, but I also don't want to have to start all over again re-laying roots. I don't know what to make of it; I really don't. But I imagine that's normal when things are in flux (and/or have been in flux for quite some time).

Basically my plan for Chicago is this: ride the winter out (did I mention I'm not a fan of winter?), study for and take the GRE, and then aim at returning to Minnesota (Northfield or Twin Cities) sometime during the spring. In other words, it would seem I need to be as deliberate as I can in not laying roots in Chicago, because it would cause undue pressure when I try to return to the place(s) where I do have roots -- something about people wanting me to not leave, something with which my conscience is struggling. My first challenge, as I see it, would be the choir get-together some of my ex-St. Luke's friends/acquaintances have been organizing. I know of a couple friends that are going, and because of them naturally I would be inclined to go as well: however, other people that I haven't talked to in years will also be going; and it would be quite awkward to go with the self-knowledge that I'm actually here for a while and not just on break.

[Postscript: There's more garbage coming from this coconut than I'm letting on in this post, but I'll leave them for now, and possibly bring them back sometime later. See ya on the other side.]

The Christmas sermon, part 2: why we celebrate

"Dar gave me a picture of what ought to be this season, how we should behave. Regardless of religious belief or affiliation, this winter will be cold and lonely, metaphorically and literally, and if people can come together like in the song, "finding faith and common ground the best that they were able," then maybe, just maybe, there's some hope left for us all. And I am ever grateful that there are people like Dar out there coming up with beautiful reminders like this, because thanks to them will be even more who will hear and think twice about what it is they're celebrating this season and with whom and why."

--Si ["http://josiah.blogware.com/"]

I rarely do multiple-part posts on the same topic. [It might explain all those long posts I've written over the last few months.] But I couldn't leave last post hanging without a crucial point, one that I felt might do better separated from the seemingly anti-Christmas sentiment; and I felt it would better serve this post's particular topic to separate it, since it does contrast that of the previous post. I took the above quote from a friend of mine (you can see his blog entry here ["http://josiah.blogware.com/blog/_archives/2008/12/7/4011318.html"]), which focuses on two things: the lyrics behind Dar Williams' song "The Christians and the Pagans," ["http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/thechris.htm"] and his reflections from having heard that song at that point in time. The last sentence in his quote (the one I highlighted) is what I want to delve into further detail, as well as it being the driving force for this post and the previous one.

What are we celebrating? In the previous post, I've hopefully established the truth about Christmas, that it is in reality a pagan holiday mixed with a religion that suddenly looks quite hypocritical in condemning paganism. [N.B. I am saying neither that paganism is good or bad: this is not the purpose of debate; rather, that for one to criticize or condemn a different set of beliefs one must be pure; in this case Christians are not.] But, negativity aside, in our examinations we discover that we celebrate family, togetherness, love, and [fill in other positive adjectives]. And ultimately, isn't that the important thing?

With whom are we celebrating? What I found beautiful from Williams' song is how a Solstice-celebrating niece calls up her Christ-loving uncle and tells him she wants to spend the holiday with him. Before, she was celebrating with her friend/partner/whatever classification fits the two.

Why are we celebrating? We've established the coming together of a pagan and some Christians. And one takes the initiative to call the other up, someone they haven't talked to in a some time, and asks to celebrate together in spite of a separation of their beliefs. In other words, screw philosophical and religious differences; we're family, and I miss you: a recognition and an acting-upon basic human emotions. Our similarities outweigh petty differences. So what (and with whom) are we celebrating? How about each other? And why? Because we (somehow) care about each other. Ultimately, that should be it.

[Postscript: I've been reading more on SimpleToRemember.com's ["http://SimpleToRemember.com/"] entry about Christmas. I won't say too much, but merely reiterate my comment about its Jewish bias. Down towards the bottom of the article, it talks about how the Jews in ancient Rome were victimized at the derisive pleasure of the pagans and/or the Christians, and how each element of Christmas can be tied to this humiliation. Scary, indeed.]

The Christmas sermon, part 1: origins

Another topic that caught my attention from AJ Jacobs' The Year of Living Biblically concerns the lack of the major Christian holidays in the Bible, specifically Christmas. Although I've grown up with celebrating this holiday by having a triangular-shaped evergreen tree at home, and the obligatory singing at the Christmas Eve service (this was tradition); my wanderings over the last five years, plus the bits of information I learned (i.e. Jesus wasn't born in December; the stories of Jesus' birth and St. Nicholas proving to be nothing more than a mishmash), have made me question what I once believed so dearly.

I did some research (unfortunately for those highly-educated, scholarly types who happen to be reading this blurble, said research was exclusively online), and found Christmas to be pagan in origin. I can hear the cynics now: Wait! Christmas is a Christian holiday! How dare you suggest that! Well let me explain. First off, Jesus wasn't born in December; sources suggest a mini-myriad of other dates, largely during either the spring or the fall. Specifically, in the Gospel shepherds were said to have been tending flocks the night of His birth, something said to be impossible during the winter. Secondly, before the Roman Catholic Church came into power, there was a ritual (I believe the birth of a Roman god) said to have taken place on December 25th; thus said date was a date of pagan celebration preceding Christendom's influence. And thirdly, it only became the Christian holiday that we know and love upon the decision and declaration of the early church, possibly by Pope Julius I.

For those of you truth-seekers curious for more information, the SimpleToRemember.com ["http://SimpleToRemember.com/"] website, albeit containing a Jewish bias, helpfully explains the origins of every Christmas tradition ["http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/Christmas_TheRealStory.htm"]. I also found these two sites ["http://www.allaboutjesuschrist.org/history-of-christmas-faq.htm"] ["http://www.essortment.com/all/christmaspagan_rece.htm"] to also be helpful (at least somewhat). Amazing what one can find when one types "origins of christmas" into google.com.

Good news/bad news, pt 2, plus...

Bad news: I didn't really get the job. I apparently misinterpreted whatever my temp employment agent told me last Friday when he said there was an opening. Of course, I only found that out after I made the drive to South St. Paul and acquainted myself with some of the folks in the mail room.

Good news: Now I'm not tied down to a mere two-week job, with further confusion as to what to do when it ends in January. [My goal is having something that lasts at least a few months.]

Bad news: I'm 1,000-something dollars poorer.

Good news: I can actually spend the 25th in Chicago.

Bad news: It might mean I have to move to Chicago pretty soon.

Good news: It might mean I have to move to Chicago pretty soon.

More good news: I can take the winter off, study for and take the GRE, and look at returning to Minnesota in the spring sometime.

Now, for the "plus" (although you should know, the definition that I'm invoking for "plus" is "in addition to", and not "a benefit", nor "a cause for happiness") ... I helped Erik, my roommate for the past year-and-a-third, essentially move out. He'd been gone for the vast majority of the last four months, but it was only the last couple days in which he officially moved out. I'll miss the guy. We have our differences, and we have our similarities; but it was nice to just hang out with him and his dad for the last couple of days, and I know they were grateful to have me around to help them out. For now, though, my space looks like a whole bunch of empty. We'll see how long that lasts.

Good news/bad news

Good news: I will be making a decent amount of money for the rest of the year.

Bad news: The year is almost over, as it is December (I'll only be working two weeks).

Good news: I found work; that's why I'll be making money.

Bad news: It starts at 8 AM.

Good news: It's in South St. Paul (I've kinda been wanting to move to the Twin Cities for some time).

Bad news: It's in South St. Paul (I still live in Northfield; the commute will be a pain).

Good news: It'll most likely get my foot in the employment door once this ends.

Bad news: Because of my work schedule, I'm skipping Christmas this year.

A plea for re-examination of athletes as role models, and for unity in unions

--Appetizer

The wind's really blowing out there. Had quite a payload of snow dropped through all of yesterday and yesterday night. Sometime between now and sundown I'm going to take advantage of the white presence and go make something with it. It's funny, I've lived my whole life in a place where snow is expected every winter, and yet I still haven't made a snowman or a snow fort (OK, a college friend of mine also commented the same thing a few years back with the same amount of emphasis, but she's from California, so she gets excused for that one: I don't). Also checked the TV channels; many schools are taking today off. If memory serves, the same thing happened exactly a year ago today, because it would explain why I posted ["http://amidthenoiseandhaste2.blogspot.com/2008/12/off-day.html"] about Rod Blagojevich's arrest during school hours. Freaky, this calendrical symmetry; very freaky.

--Salad

By now Tiger Woods' car crash and leaks about his adulterous life are old news. I must first say it's sad that the topics I'm about to dish out are the first I will have ever talked about Woods. No mention of his 14 PGA grand slam titles. No mention of his endorsements. Nope; we gotta go straight to the stuff that covers the tabloids. Not only did he get cited for crashing his vehicle into a tree at around 2:30 in the morning, but somehow his wife gets ahold of his cell phone, which leads Woods to call his mistress (or one of many) and tell her to get her name off her phone so his wife wouldn't find out. Eventually, he half-admits it to the public (admits his "transgressions"), without going into any particulars, instead pleading for privacy on the matter.

Brief reflections on the matter before the entrée: Woods becomes the latest examples of athlete role models gone bad, or perhaps he's a human who's finally had his mortal weaknesses exposed. In the long line of athletes' shortcomings, Magic Johnson contracted HIV, Michael Jordan gambled, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa (among hundreds of others) took PEDs, LeBron James and Adrian Peterson got caught driving 100+ mph on a highway... the list goes on and on. A question I will address is the issue of holding celebrities and athletes as reliable role models. Another question I will address is the potential loss of marriage's sanctity, thanks to a phone conversation I had last week with a friend concerned about said issue.

--Entrée

It's not hard to hold professional athletes high. Starting with Jordan, they endorsed all sorts of products and put their names out into the public. Essentially, they're saying: "Hey, I'm LeBron James! You might know me... I play some damn good basketball. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I think "Gatorade" tastes good... so if you ever want something to drink, I'd recommend that." But also, there have been countless sports metaphors that people latch on to for real life, whether it's related to their own work, or raising kids, or other stuff like that. It's even better when said great athlete plays for your team, wins championships for your city (thanks, Mike), and fills you with happiness when seemingly just about everything else would send you into despair (thanks, city of Chicago).

Where we err, is placing athletes at some "god-like" status. The problem is, they're human, and as Woods, Jordan, and James proved, some of them are still going to commit adultery, gamble compulsively, and speed. These are "transgressions" (to borrow Woods' term) that many Joe Schmoes fall to every day. There's nothing wrong with looking at what drives them to succeed in their line of work to motivate ourselves or others around us; there's everything wrong with expecting them to, well, not be human. I mean, aside from the few example I've listed a few paragraphs back, celebrities falling to temptation and getting caught doing stupid things seems to be the norm. The events with the Woods family over the last couple weeks is merely another example of it. On the one hand it's surprising, because up until last month Woods has appeared to be a model citizen; on the other hand it isn't surprising at all, because with more stories of athletes and celebrities falling to bad habits, it's almost as if we expect the best to fail (the recent steroid mess in baseball in my opinion having played a large role).

I used to idolize Jordan and Sosa as a kid. The way they performed amazed me; I often dreamed of being an NBA player myself, and by high school I had the Sosa batting routine act down pat. But over the years I found myself re-examining these idolatries. Part of it had to do with my faith/spiritual journey that became thrust on me, but part of it also had to do with Jordan retiring, and with Sosa committing acts of selfishness (his leaving early on the last day of the 2004 season still grates at me).

Now, if you were to ask who I consider my heroes these days, I'd list Martin Luther King, Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Richard Webster (my first choir director), and Greg Maddux. Now, that list isn't exhaustive, but you'll notice I only have one professional athlete on this list (and he's retired). Essentially the first three stood up against injustices they faced in their lives... and Maddux; well, he had an approach to pitching that I believe no one will ever match. I consider Maddux a hero solely for said approach. [I hear he also has a clean record, not just in his work, but also in his life, which always helps.]

I must get to the second point, the one my friend had more of an issue dealing with: adultery. Yes, Tiger Woods fell to it. Yes, he has a really attractive wife, and it boggles the minds of a decent chunk of the population as to why he would cheat on his attractive wife with others, and why he would do so for a few years (as opposed to merely a few times).

More importantly, it brings to light a larger issue: the crumbling of marriage as an institution. I still get riled up when people say gay marriage is what's damaging marriage. Divorce... you're getting closer. Truth is, impulsive marriages are the primary culprit. Most divorces don't happen without them. Of course, each and every relationship is different in nature, but in each there is a common development, a common growth and/or decline. I agree with the wisdom of taking time with a relationship to get to know one's partner and seeing where it might go before making any kind of commitment. Getting married six months after meeting someone for the first time is by far not enough time to get to really know the person and know how the two... work together (for lack of a better term).

Another point I had made to my friend during this conversation was the issue of how people approach relationships and their different stages -- i.e. "just" a relationship, engagement, marriage. [Granted, I don't have a lot of knowledge in this field, so bear with me as I spout out my theories.] Back in the day (a couple generations ago) when marriages tended to last longer, people approached the beginnings of a relationship with a focus on the long term. When they were in the "just a relationship" stage, one might assume they were already putting the idea of commitment and monogamy into practice, so that by the time the actual status of "marriage" were to arrive, these values would already be ingrained in each partner. Nowadays, it seems the rules (as they were) are much more relaxed; as I understand it [and remember, my understanding is a bit limited] most relationships tend to be more experimental, experiential (granted, I wouldn't be surprised if TV was a culprit). Consequently, said couples would be less likely to practice commitment, their bond towards each other weaker, ready to rip apart at the first sign of monetary or other outside problems.

So, with less time spent together before the date of commitment, the partners don't learn how to be faithful and really care for each other, and consequently it's much more likely that the marriage will crumble and they will need to split in order to maintain what remains of their sanity. I don't know much about relationships, but I do know it's a two-way street; and in order to learn the nature of this particular two-way street, it's imperative to take the time to get to know one's partner, his/her strengths and weaknesses, and how each can satisfy the other's needs. In a word, one must attune himself/herself to his/her partner; after all, marriage is supposed to be a union, not a bi- uh, partisan thing. Not a, "I need to figure out how to satisfy myself without asking my partner for help" type of mindset. DUH! That's what the partner's for! (And if said partner refuses, then the burden of proof is on him/her.)

--Dessert/Postscript

OK, that was a bit longer than I would have liked. Aside from the fact that I didn't feel the most comfortable spilling out my views on relationships (part of it is said views are still developing), I think I was holding something back, and decided to talk my way around it before finally getting to my point by the end. In a larger sense, I've kind of forgotten how to be concise. Maybe I'll remember someday. In the meantime, I've got snow to move around and/or mold into some type of sculpture.