For anyone reading this who knows the fullness of my blogging history, today’s post may come across as a shock. I’m writing about Ben Folds, but not in the same ways that I shared about him previously. Before I get to the point, I do want to say that I used to really enjoy his music when I was in my early and mid twenties. I saw him a few times in concert, which is more so than any other music artist or composer to date:
- 2004 - this was the first time I had ever heard of him; my college roommate told me that he was coming to our campus, and that he was a rock pianist. After going to this concert (I believe I went solo) and hearing him play, I was sold.
[unfortunately, I have no photo from this concert as I didn’t own a cell phone yet]
- 2009 - I saw him at the Lollapalooza music festival in downtown Chicago with a friend in the midst of a busy three weeks of vacation fun after the end of my first (and ultimately, only) stint with AmeriCorps, and what was going to be the beginning of my second just a few weeks later. [I was still living in Minnesota at the time, so a visit to Chicago was considered part of my vacation.]
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| Folds at Lollapalooza |
- 2012 - I saw him at a heavily-marketed block party event, also in downtown Chicago with a couple of friends. This concert took place during a tough emotional / spiritual season in my life, and as I seem to recall, there were thunderstorms that were threatening all evening but never seemed to actually hit.
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| grainy photo courtesy of my flip phone that I had at the time |
- 2017 - I booked this concert upon learning from a friend that he was coming to town (I went solo on this one). The concert capped a week off from work that also included an overnight trip to Milwaukee with a different friend, followed by a day-and-a-half back to celebrate the birthdays of a couple different friends, followed by a three-day retreat to a yet a different friend’s second home in Williams Bay with the same friend that I spent an overnight in Milwaukee with earlier that week.
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| Folds and the paper airplanes of song requests |
- 2018 - I went with the same friend that joined me on the 2009 Lollapalooza concert. He booked the tickets which included some extra features that Folds was offering, including a private concert and a private Q & A session.
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| Ravinia in Highland Park |
In addition to the concerts, Folds really inspired the song-writing phase of my compositional career, especially in the first few years after college. I also gained a deeper understanding for how “rock” piano worked, especially considering how different it is from Classical piano. I remember how accomplished I felt every time I learned to master yet another of his sometimes-complicated songs.
But that's not the point of today’s post. Although I continued going to the occasional concert, I started drifting away from him after 2012, in large part because I started noticing how the emotional weight of many of his songs, whether of anger or of depression, started wearing on me. I later learned that he had been married and divorced four times (now it’s been five times). That was a huge red flag for me regarding whether to continue to let him influence me in any way.
And no wonder! Ben Folds is not saved. Of course his songs reflect that. And for a very long time, I had been content to let that lie. That is, until the idea started coming to me to blog about cautionary tales, ironically courtesy of the passing-away last autumn of professional basketballer Dikembe Mutombo (someone whose career I certainly noticed as a child and young adult!). The thing is, Mutombo was saved, so when he died he went to heaven to be with the Lord Jesus. But then it got me to thinking: for many people who follow entertainment, whether it be sports, music, cinema, television, or the like, there are so many people who are blind and would not be able to tell the difference between someone like Mutombo vs someone like Jerry West, who also was an accomplished professional basketballer, among other things. (I’ve also blogged about similar cautionary tales of Charles M. Schulz and Eunice Waymon (a/k/a Nina Simone).)
The difference, of course, is that Folds is still alive, whereas all four individuals mentioned in the above paragraph have passed on. But what prompted me to write about him now is that two of his songs recently came to mind:
The First Song: Army (specifically, a set of lyrics from this song that came to mind)
In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection
[Blasphemy redacted] please spare me more rejection
I redacted a word from the above because he used the Lord’s name in vain. Also, the thought originated on the second line referring to his “election” - when I was younger I certainly thought of it more as an election to an office, like president or mayor or something. But knowing what Biblical election is, it almost seems to read as if Folds was commenting somehow about his own election in this sense instead, although I’m not sure how:
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. Romans 8:29-30, NIV
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will. Ephesians 1:4-5, NIV
Folds was also accidentally prophetic against himself and spoke a curse over himself:
Cause my peers they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nipping at my heels
Folds wrote the song in 1999. By the time of its release, he had already been through two divorces, and now another two three divorces later, it still seems to hold true, because he has spoken it over himself, first when he first wrote it, and then again and again every time he has performed that song, whether on-stage or off-stage. To me, it’s not a question of whether he’s reporting on things that have happened. When you put something into a song, it turns it into something else. Every time he performs that song -- anytime anyone of us performs any kind of song -- he speaks into being / in a sense worships the contents or the object of whatever that song is about.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21, NIV
It is why, when I had my faith revival in 2020, I felt a compelling urge to go back over secular songs I had previously written, take a hard look at each of them, and change some of them as necessary. In a few cases, I’ve had to completely rewrite the lyrics because 1.) I want my music to honor God, because after all it’s not merely “my” music; I truly believe that it is something that He and I made together, and therefore must ensure that I give the glory back to Him; and 2.) I don't want any darkness that I had written in the past to stain my present or curse my future. I want to be blessed, in Jesus’s name, not cursed!
Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. Psalm 34:14, NIV
no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the Lord. Isaiah 54:17, NIV
Before I get into the second song that I will speak about, I want to say that I could have chosen most any song he had written, because the vast majority of them are either from a place of depression, rage, or cynicism. He has claimed that his songs are merely portraits of made-up individuals as part of larger commentaries on life and not necessarily autobiographical. There may be some truth to what he is saying, and I believe that he himself certainly believes it to be true. But what I find, more often than not, that these same songs either speak to something that he lived through or observed in the past that affected him enough to write a song about it, or that it eventually became true (like his continuing string of divorces even after having written “Army”).
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. (Jesus is speaking) Luke 6:45, NIV
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21, NIV
The Second Song: Kristine From The 7th Grade
Are you the same Kristine
I knew from seventh grade?
No, it's definitely you
Just with a new last name
This song came out a couple years ago, but I only came across it a few months ago for the first time. Like many other songs, Folds commented about his songs rarely being autobiographical reflections (although some songs, such as “Army,” is one such exception) but rather that they tend to hit on different various common human experiences.
Someone who laughed a lot
Is what I remember the most
But the face in your profile
Suggests maybe not so much anymore
For a song like “Kristine From The 7th Grade,” (which I’m denoting “Kristine,” from here on out) I actually can believe his statement. Evidently, this piece was borne out of an exercise that he had participated in with a songwriting class that he was leading, rather than a direct personal experience of his. He did go on to comment that this song likely represented a common sentiment by many in this day and age.
So what would you imagine I might Take from this deluge of memes?
With the cryptic, dark Bible quotes
Guns and dead fetuses
Seriously, Kristine, are you okay?
What he also went on to say as he was introducing this song at one concert, I not only don’t agree with it, but I think also comes off as a weak cover-up: the idea that this song isn’t one-sided but could be taken either way politically. The above song quotation, specifically the line: with the cryptic, dark Bible quotes, guns and dead fetuses ... there’s no way that someone who’s conservative looks at someone who’s liberal and asks if they’re OK because they shared social media memes with “dark, cryptic Bible quotes,” guns, or “dead fetuses.” (If anything, conservatives would applaud it!) At the same time, liberals don’t share social media memes with “dark, cryptic Bible quotes,” guns, or “dead fetuses.” They just don’t. Therefore, this song is most definitely one-sided, unless Folds were to change the lyric.
Oh, what a shame, Kristine
This disease that makes strangers of friends
But if these days, it's really “us's” and “them's”
Then maybe you should just take me off both of those lists
If Folds really wanted to know the “why” of those darn “dark Bible quotes,” especially amid his complaint of “this disease that makes strangers of friends” that makes it “really “us”-es and “thems””, here is the “why,” from the Bible, from the Son of God Himself:
34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn
“‘a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:34-39, NIV
Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. John 3:18, NIV
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6, NIV
Although Jesus did indeed say all the above, He said it because it’s the truth. The line that is drawn in the sand (the “us” vs “them” issue) is not Republicans vs. Democrats (after all, that is exclusively an American issue), but rather between people who have received Him as their Lord, King, and Savior vs. people who haven’t. Because the reality is, those who have will get to spend eternity with Him (including heaven after they die), while those who don’t not only won’t but will be sent to hell to be tormented for eternity.
And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ (Jesus is speaking) Matthew 25:30, NIV (also see Matthew 8:12, Matthew 13:42, Matthew 13:50, Matthew 22:13, Matthew 24:51, and Luke 13:28)
But having said all of what He said, condemnation (i.e. damnation) is not His desired outcome for all of us (or for any of us):
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17, NIV
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9, NIV
There is one final section of lyrics from the song that needs to be addressed:
Do you ever see it that way?
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Genesis 1:1, NIV
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. Genesis 1:3-4, NIV
And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. Genesis 1:6-7, NIV
And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. Genesis 1:9, NIV
Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. Genesis 1:11, NIV
And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so. Genesis 1:14-15, NIV
And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. Genesis 1:20-21, NIV
And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. Genesis 1:24, NIV
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27, NIV
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. Genesis 1:31a, NIV
God created this world to be beautiful. But then humanity sinned...
1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
Genesis 3:1-7, NIV
And as a result of their sin, they became afraid of God:
8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
Why was this a big deal? It was a big deal due to what God had told Adam earlier:
And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” Genesis 2:16-17, NIV
As such, God had to lay out consequences for their actions, not the least of which was the following:
22 And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” 23 So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. 24 After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life. Genesis 3:22-24, NIV
In short, if I were to put myself in “Kristine’s” shoes (the person, not the song), my response would be this:
Yes, it was once upon a time a wonderful world, because God had made it that way in the beginning. But because the devil enticed humanity to sin, and because humanity listened to the devil and chose to sin instead of trusting God’s instructions, a series of irreversible consequences were set into motion that caused the world to be an outright evil place. One of the main consequences of that was if you don’t obey God’s commandments perfectly in this life, you end up in hell when you die. But that’s precisely why Jesus needed to come -- because despite our best efforts, we cannot be perfect, not unless we live all aspects of our lives in direct relationship with Him. For that reason, He needed to die on a cross and pay the penalty that we deserve so that we could have any hope at all of being saved and accepted by our heavenly Father, the same God who created the heavens and the earth in the beginning.
Ironically, the song “Kristine” came to mind for this post precisely because of the interpersonal divisions in this world that the song raises. Despite my skepticism of Folds’s explanation of the geneses of his songs overall, I can buy his explanation this time, because I immediately thought of the friend with whom I went to a couple such concerts (and who I indirectly credit for introducing me to this musician). I do also have other friends with whom I’ve dropped out of touch, but, to my awareness, this one friendship (unlike the others) dropped because we both realized our respective differences politically and religiously. Further, I also suspect that this song particularly resonated with my former friend himself also for the same reason.
As for me, my take on the song “Kristine” is that because I’ve been gradually turning away from Folds over the years as an influence in my life, my reaction to this song is more detached, simply acknowledging that I can relate to what was expressed, but no longer to the point that I take a whole lot of meaning from it just because of the song itself or because of memories stirred up of past experiences. The sole reason I devoted as much as I have to this song is because it does bring up a pertinent, real issue in which the truth of it must be exposed, lest many be kept in darkness and deception regarding said truth of this division of “us vs. them.”
As I wrap up this post, Ben Folds’s cautionary tale boils down to this: because he isn’t saved, he writes songs that invite depression, hatred, and speaking negativity (including curses) over oneself, all under the guise that he supposedly is “commenting on different aspects of the common human experience.” Unfortunately, this negativity and unbelief in God bleeds over into his personal life (due to his five divorces), as well as to the personal lives of his fans. Music is powerful in more ways than even the most ardent music lovers realize. Folds’s life is a cautionary tale because, aside from success in the music industry and maybe a few other things, his life’s fruit is anything but stable and successful. The reason it’s a cautionary tale and not a “sad story” is because he’s still alive.
As for that reminder of real hope, I invite you, the reader, to go back through this post as I have sprinkled its truths up and down this post. Real hope is found in Jesus and in Him only. Real life is found in following, obeying, and serving Him only and no one else. By the way, because Folds is still alive, he has a chance to get saved as well and to get to know the real Jesus, rather than whatever ideas that roll around in his head about Him.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17, NIV
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9, NIV
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