“I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.”
Luke 15:7 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/luk.15.7.NKJV
A few days ago, I commented that repentance was beautiful. It is absolutely true. After I had written the posts that were released earlier this week, I felt God give me a breakthrough in a very key area that has been the pinpoint of my pain and complaining. It started with a devotional around the following passage:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/pro.3.5-6.NKJV
If I’m honest, historically this verse has ticked me off. One of my common complaints has been: “why gain understanding if I can’t even lean on it?” Or: “getting wisdom is paramount; so why can’t I lean on it?”
I still don’t necessarily have an intellectual answer to those questions, but I felt God bring to mind the core reason for my anger and frustration regarding this passage: why did I go into the living situation that I was in a few years ago?
I remember waffling over whether it would be good or right to do so. The main hook was that my girlfriend at the time was also living there. What I’d been taught throughout my years at the Vineyard was to never ever move in with someone you’re dating until you’re married. Period. The main reason was to guard against any form of temptation, since sex outside of marriage for any reason is still sinful. (Now to be transparent, we didn’t have sex until marriage, so we averted that crisis.) Even so, two key advisers in my life both cautioned me against making such a move. (One of them even got emphatic about it at one point!)
Anyway, I moved in, thinking that it was ok and right, blindly trusting that those who were encouraging me to do this (people who I didn’t know nearly as well as the two aforementioned advisers at the time), and also realizing that, in my feeble attempts to seriously raise a conversation with my then-girlfriend about whether this was actually biblical or not, I was unsuccessful at presenting a legit case of getting her to understand my apprehensions.
The bottom line, my anger at the above-mentioned verse was rooted in confusion about whose understanding and ways were whose. Based on my inability to convince my then girlfriend of the possibility that it might be unbiblical for us to live together (even with others in the same house), I somehow got to thinking that this living arrangement must therefore have been “God’s will.” On the contrary, it was my understanding (after all, I ultimately went along with it) and not God’s that led me into three of the worst years of my life, and if I had been able to find a way to learn what God’s plan might’ve been, there’s a good chance His way and His will would have been to spare me that stress, anger, and pain.
So, yet again, like every other time, my accusations against God in this area were completely wrong. And so I confess, apologize, and repent. If it truly was that His understanding would’ve led me away from what I experienced in this living situation, then it serves as proof that His understanding really is better than mine could ever hope to be.
The other key take away is that the truth of His understanding and ways being higher doesn’t apply only to my understanding and ways; it also speaks to trusting His counsel over that of other people’s. God’s ways were higher than my then-girlfriend’s, and it is there that I erred.
I don’t want to be angry at God anymore. I don’t want to be a blamer, a complainer, or to linger in any other type of anger either. Not only is it wrong, but this type of stuff shortens people’s lifespans.
“Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.””
Luke 15:10 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/luk.15.10.NKJV