Devotionals from my Bible app: Called to Contentment (Hebrews 4:10)

for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Hebrews 4:10, ESV

Note before sharing the devotional: I'm finding myself quite grateful for my Bible app, YouVersion, which God provided in my life as a tool to pray and read His Word daily. I've been feeling very exhausted spiritually for a long time, to where I've needed a different focus. I am still grateful for my church and for my pastor, but the messages that I'm hearing there have been ringing hollow for me. It's why I've not been sharing them of late on this blog. That said, I do want to be quick to clarify that I don't think the messages are bad. They're still preaching the pure Word of God and they are speaking faith. But I also know that we all have seasons. After all,

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, ESV

Although I have continued to be very active in accomplishing tasks related to wedding prep, marriage prep, and moving prep, with tasks ranging from setting up accounts to pay rent, to customizing the bridal shower registry, to communicating with vendors ahead of the big day, I have been resting in other ways. Enduring certain conversations and relationships that have a track record of being toxic or leading to quarrelling, those days are over. Sometimes trying to hold out hope and faith that a certain person will listen, let alone change, wastes energy. And sometimes, even with sermons or challenging statements that a person makes, I have to close the door and declare that I'm not going to deal with that right now.

As an aside, I've not seen the movie "Inside Out 2" that has been playing in theaters the last few weeks, but I have been watching very short clips of it on YouTube. There's one mechanism in the movie that I really like, where the character Joy grabs a marble-shape representing a bad or uncomfortable memory, deploys a chute, opens it, inserts the bad memory, and pulls a trigger which flings the memory to a far-off place, boldly declaring: "we're not going to think about that right now!" 

That's where I'm at with certain messages, primarily one that goes along the lines of: What? You don't know how to do this by now? You've been an adult for how long? Well, you should've planned for it! Life's tough, suck it up, you've an adult for this long, and you should've known this by now! It's your own fault if you don't know how to do this by now! ... There are a few people currently in my life who have this kind of attitude (and are not shy about it), and within a couple of months I'm going to make sure they're out of my life. I forgive them, because although they think they know what they're doing, they don't:

And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments. Luke 23:34, ESV

But for people who bring out the worst in me (i.e. cause me to sin), the Bible commands that I remove them:

If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. Matthew 5:29-30, ESV

To wrap up this preamble, today's devotional is about contentment, which I got off the rails about. Life is full of trials and tribulations. Life has ups and downs. What counts is what we do with them. And we are called to learn how to be content, no matter whether we are in the middle of a trial or not. A major part of that contentment is rest. How do we rest? We rest in part by prioritizing those who build us up, and cutting out those who tear us down. Who builds you up? For me, spending time with God has to be number one. He will never tear me down, at least not in the way that other people have. If He tears down, He will do so only to build up:

a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; Ecclesiastes 3:3, ESV

One of His promises during times of trial is that He will give us strength to endure. This, I believe, is the proper interpretation of the below verse:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13, NKJV

...based on this context:

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him [Christ] who strengthens me. Philippians 4:11-13, ESV

Let's release our burdens, cares, and worries to the Lord and be content in Him. At the end of the day, He is still sovereign, and interestingly, that brings me comfort more than other things.

for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Hebrews 4:10, ESV

Called to Contentment

Observing Sabbath-rest allows us to step into the same rhythm God established in creating the world. Scripture tells us when God rested from His work, it was because His work was complete (Genesis 2:1). God took joy in His accomplishment.

In Hebrews 4:10, the writer draws a parallel between God's rest and ours: "for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his." We're invited to delight in His presence and share in God’s divine contentment.

This rest isn't about taking a break from good works. It’s about surrendering the need to control by trusting in the completeness of God’s work. Our "rest" releases us from the burden of proving ourselves good enough to earn His love and approval. These things have been secured through Jesus’ finished work on the cross. When we step into this rhythm of rest can we find contentment that spills over into every part of our lives.

Is God is calling you to stop trying to do everything on your own and instead find peace in Jesus’ finished work on the cross?

Lay down your burdens, not out of laziness, but surrender. Believe that the One who made the world also takes care of you.

https://bible.com/bible/59/heb.4.10.ESV

Prayer: God, my heart is heavy. I release my burdens to You. I lay them down and surrender them to You. Thank You for holding me in my weakness and weariness. Show me how to rest and refuel in Your presence. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Attempting to discern the line in the sand: Chronicling King Asa's reign

 In my yearlong Bible reading plan, I recently read through 2 Chronicles 14, 15, and 16, which detail the reign of King Asa over the kingdom of Judah. This is what God's Word had to say about Asa:

And Asa did what was good and right in the eyes of the Lord his God. 2 Chronicles 14:2, ESV

That's good, and heartwarming for the reader. After all, Asa is King Rehoboam's grandson (a king who did evil in God's eyes), King Solomon's great-grandson (a king who started out doing good in God's eyes, but pursued women, wealth, and horses, (all things God told him not to do), which led to his downfall by worshiping other gods and ultimately doing evil in the Lord's sight)...

So Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and did not wholly follow the Lord, as David his father had done. 1 Kings 11:6, ESV

...and the great-great-grandson of King David.

But there's something that concerns me. Although King Asa consulted the Lord regarding what to do regarding one of the neighboring kingdoms trying to invade the kingdom of Judah and gained victory...

And Asa cried to the Lord his God, “O Lord, there is none like you to help, between the mighty and the weak. Help us, O Lord our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this multitude. O Lord, you are our God; let not man prevail against you.” So the Lord defeated the Ethiopians before Asa and before Judah, and the Ethiopians fled. Asa and the people who were with him pursued them as far as Gerar, and the Ethiopians fell until none remained alive, for they were broken before the Lord and his army. The men of Judah carried away very much spoil. 2 Chronicles 14:11-13, ESV

...he wasn't consistent. He didn't always seek the Lord in every decision, as the below passage shows:

In the thirty-sixth year of the reign of Asa, Baasha king of Israel went up against Judah and built Ramah, that he might permit no one to go out or come in to Asa king of Judah. Then Asa took silver and gold from the treasures of the house of the Lord and the king's house and sent them to Ben-hadad king of Syria, who lived in Damascus, saying, “There is a covenant between me and you, as there was between my father and your father. Behold, I am sending to you silver and gold. Go, break your covenant with Baasha king of Israel, that he may withdraw from me.” 2 Chronicles 16:1-3, ESV

Reading this passage from chapter 16, what King Asa did doesn't seem to be too problematic on the surface. He saw a situation and dealt with it as best as he knew how. What's so wrong about that?

At that time Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him, “Because you relied on the king of Syria, and did not rely on the Lord your God, the army of the king of Syria has escaped you. Were not the Ethiopians and the Libyans a huge army with very many chariots and horsemen? Yet because you relied on the Lord, he gave them into your hand. For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him. You have done foolishly in this, for from now on you will have wars.” 2 Chronicles 16:7-9, ESV

The problem was that King Asa did not consult the Lord in this situation like he had done previously. Based on what I've read and heard about Hanani the seer, it appears this was a man of God who had brought this word to the king, and that his word was reliable and true. What was Hanani's reward for advising the king? Asa threw him in jail and apparently treated other people horribly at the same time, all from a place of rage. Then...

In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa was diseased in his feet, and his disease became severe. Yet even in his disease he did not seek the Lord, but sought help from physicians. And Asa slept with his fathers, dying in the forty-first year of his reign. 2 Chronicles 16:12-13, ESV

Clearly, King Asa did not learn his lesson. From what God's Word tells us, the first 35 years of his reign were good, marked by a close walk with God. The last six years, on the other hand, were terrible. Asa trusted in himself and in his abilities, and then when he encountered something he couldn't handle on his own, he sought help only from other humans. Based on Hanani's word, it seems that God wasn't pleased with Asa's actions, and he clearly reaped the consequences of them.

So, what do we make of this? Both Solomon and Asa had God intervene early in their reigns to remind them of the following: (the below passage is what God told Asa)

The Spirit of God came upon Azariah the son of Oded, and he went out to meet Asa and said to him, “Hear me, Asa, and all Judah and Benjamin: The Lord is with you while you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you. For a long time Israel was without the true God, and without a teaching priest and without law, but when in their distress they turned to the Lord, the God of Israel, and sought him, he was found by them. 2 Chronicles 15:1-4, ESV

But somehow Asa was considered to have stayed true to the Lord whereas Solomon strayed. I think what concerns me goes back to my own walk. I do repent when it has been pointed out that I've sinned, and I've repented and asked God forgiveness a lot. But, I've also turned back toward whatever I was doing before. And then repented again. And then turned away again. And... well, you get the idea. I have privately and publicly professed faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, but then I go and think and say and do things that go against this professed faith. I'm hoping that the below verse, combined with the fact that Solomon explicitly served other gods in addition to the one true God whereas Asa didn't, will help:

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, Philippians 2:12, ESV

Even though I post devotionals and reflections, today is one of those times I'm glad I am not a pastor. As of this blog post, I don't have answers, except for what Scripture explicitly says. I would say, keep spending time with the God of the Bible, in prayer and in His Word, be real with Him with wherever you're at in life, and let Him be real with you. Start there, and then keep going.

Devotionals from my Bible app: Rest is a Reality (Hebrews 4:9)

So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, Hebrews 4:9, ESV

Note before sharing the devotional: Rest will look a bit different for everyone, although the common thread is spending time with God and meditating on His Word and being in His presence. For me, spending time praying, reading, and reflecting as I put together the last two posts prior to this one provided a form of rest. (Context: when I put up these devotionals on the blog, I tend to work on these in bunches and then post them on adjacent days in a row, depending on however many devotionals I post. I just happened to do the previous two plus this one in one sitting.) I've been wrestling with anxiety over a few different things, but working on these posts and spending time with God as I do has been providing me with a rest that I think connects with what the author of the book of Hebrews is trying to say. 

Back in Old Testament times, Sabbath literally and strictly meant one day each week of absolutely no work. Modern-day Hasidic Jews (among perhaps a few other groups) still religiously practice this in the same manner as their ancestors did millennia ago. But nowadays, unless one essentially converts to Hasidic Judaism (or something similar) will find following the Old Testament Sabbath mandate impossible to do. So, just like with so many other things in the New Testament, God offers a way to still maintain the spirit of the law regarding the Sabbath, without having to resort to strictly and religiously upholding the letter of the law.

So make sure to spend time with the Lord, and make it a priority to, well, prioritize this time.

Rest is a Reality

In Hebrews 4:9, the author offers a reassurance of hope: "There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God." The author is referring to more than just observing a specific day of the week. It's about a spiritual inward peace and wholeness with God, not depending on external circumstances.

Through faith and trust in God, we can find a deep and lasting rest for our souls, reminding us of the eternal rest to come. This Sabbath-rest serves as a precursor—a promise that concludes in a future, perfect rest (Revelation 14:13). The rest we get to experience here is only a shadow, and what we hope for is the reality (Colossians 2:17).

Sabbath-rest isn't earned. It’s a gift God offers to all who seek Him.

As you contemplate Hebrews 4:9, consider: what it would look like for you to fully enter God's rest in your daily life. How can you practice releasing your burdens and anxieties?

The promise of Sabbath-rest is not just a concept. It's a reality for those who walk faithfully with God.

https://bible.com/bible/59/heb.4.9.ESV

Prayer: God, thank You for being the perfect example of how to rest. Teach me how to find true rest in Your presence. I lay all my stress and anxiety at Your feet. Free my mind from the thoughts and weights of busyness. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Devotionals from my Bible app: Do You Believe? (Psalm 107:13-14)

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart. Psalm 107:13-14, ESV

Note before sharing the devotional: Let's not forget the biggest "do you believe" moment in the Bible: Do you truly believe Jesus Christ, the Son of God, laid down His life on the cross for your sins and mine? Do you believe that He lived a perfect life up until that point, and even through that point, even to ask His Heavenly Father to forgive His enemies because "they did not know what they were doing"? Do you believe that, after Jesus died on the cross, He conquered death and was raised again from the dead? This is what makes Christianity Christianity. 

By the same token, do you also believe that the same power that raised Him from the dead lives inside of all believers? That means you and me, if you truly believe. That means you and I have access to the greatest power of all, the power of the Holy Spirit. And that also means that, in Jesus' name and by the power of the Holy Spirit, all your bonds and chains are broken, all your diseases healed, all your sins forgiven, and you can have access to all breakthroughs... so long as you remain in Christ and He in you.

Do You Believe?

Brought out of slavery in Egypt. Saved from lions. Victorious in battle. The Word of God is full of stories of deliverance, full of accounts of God showing Himself strong as the Deliverer of His people. He hears His people's cry. He delivers them from their distress. We see it again and again.

But, do you believe it?

Do you truly believe God rescued an entire community from slavery and delivered them from a pursuing army by creating a pathway through the sea? Do you believe He’s the same God you can speak to right now?

Do you believe Jesus gave sight to a man who was born blind? Do you believe He is still able to perform miracles?

Do you believe a man who plotted murder against God’s people could suddenly, miraculously have a change of heart and become one of His greatest advocates? God did that with Saul who became Paul. When you think of the most wicked people in the world today, do you believe God could save and change them in the same way?

The God who is with you right now is the same God who delivered in every one of those circumstances. He can deliver you, too!


https://bible.com/bible/59/psa.107.13-14.ESV

Prayer: God, You are a merciful Savior and mighty Deliverer. Thank You for rescuing me from my darkness and sin through Jesus' death on my behalf. You are victorious! I know You hear me when I cry out for help. Thank You! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Devotionals from my Bible app: Treasure that Lasts Forever (Matthew 6:19)

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, Matthew 6:19, ESV

Note before sharing the devotional: Although the above verse is the focus of the devotional, it doesn't seem right to not also include the next two verses:

but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. Matthew 6:20, ESV

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33, ESV

The farther along I've gone on this journey, the more difficult I realize I've found to grasp this verse. Intellectually I understand it: don't treasure the things of this world, seek first the kingdom of God and of heaven and lay your treasures there. It's a simple concept.

Then comes putting it into practice. In the end, it really boils down to whether you really trust Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, Lord, and King. Because if you do, then you'll be able to gain victory over every evil thing, and you will be able to do everything that God says you can. But if you don't... well, no amount of human strength will help you rightly pursue the kingdom of heaven and lay your real treasures -- including your heart -- there.

Here's another key to this whole thing:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV

I think what this verse commands, more than anything, has been a huge stumbling block for me. To me, experience is -- and has been -- everything. The years I was in therapy gave me an opportunity, in ways that I had never known previously, to experience moments that brought me the healing I needed in order to forgive and move on from the things that were holding me back. But in spite of all this, I've not been able to translate this to other things that I've since learned that my years in counseling was not able to help with. 

What I have been doing is reading my Bible and praying daily. Sometimes that's all that is required for the time being. Perhaps that's another way to store up treasure in heaven is by spending regular time with (and in) God's Word -- treasure -- and letting it build up in one's heart.

Treasure that Lasts Forever

Every human grows up in a world filled with desires and needs. We learn from an early age that we prefer comfort over discomfort. We discover that it is easier to have plenty than it is to have little.

Material possessions can certainly create comfort in our lives—the new cars, the bigger houses, or the latest phones. It's easy to think that having more will make you happier, too.

But nothing you can buy will last forever.

Everything that we collect here on earth has an expiration date. Cars break down. Houses crumble. New phones become obsolete—really quickly. In the long run, we really have no control over the things of this world.

Jesus invites us to a different way of life when He tells us to focus on storing up treasures in heaven, where things do not deteriorate or disappear. Rather than focusing on piling up earthly things, He calls us to focus on heavenly things that will last eternally.

Everything we own was actually given to us by God’s grace.

We can break the habit of amassing treasure on earth by seeing all of our material possessions as something given by God for us to share with others. We can also shift our priorities toward making an eternal impact in people’s lives by sharing the hope of Jesus with them.

What small steps can you take today to begin to shift your focus from earthly treasure to heavenly treasure? What has God given you that you can share with others to make a difference in their life as well? Take some time to pray to God about these things.


https://bible.com/bible/59/mat.6.19.ESV

Prayer: Father God, You have shown me what matters most -- and that is to love You, and love others. Help me to align my life with Your will. Show me how to invest my time, resources, and money into the one thing that has eternal value --Your Kingdom. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Devotionals from my Bible app: True Religion (James 1:27)

♱

Note before sharing the devotional: I think this is some form of what I've been wrestling against, for sure in other people that I've noticed this, but also perhaps in myself. When I think of religious people, I immediately think of the Pharisees in Jesus' time on earth. A modern form of Pharisaism might sound something like this: "you didn't get healed?? Well, no wonder! You didn't have enough faith! You need to have faith so you can receive the healing! You are healed! ... You're healed! You just need to work harder and believe stronger!"

While faith without doubting is indeed important - and is written in the Bible (Jesus says it in Mark 11:23) - what's important to remember is that this is not a binary truth. Below is a quote from Pastor David Diga Hernandez that popped into my YouTube feed:

I want to say something that you might misunderstand, and some might even think it's a statement of doubt. But it's not; it's a statement of truth. I believe in healing. I believe that miracles are for today. In our services that we hold around the world [and] on our livestreams, we believe for healing miracles, [and] we believe for people to experience God's healing power, of course. But we have to remember that ultimately God is sovereign. And when the miracle doesn't happen when we want it to happen or how we want it to happen, we can't just go right to the default that some do and say, "well, it's because you didn't have enough faith." Sometimes that could be the case. In my experience, most of the time that's not been the case. The person has had faith. We have to learn to trust in the sovereignty of God, even when it comes to the miracle-working power of the Holy Spirit, because ultimately He is in control and we can trust Him.

I share the above because we have to remember (I have to remember) that God is in control - and act accordingly. Yes, without faith we cannot please God (Hebrews 11:6) but part of what that faith needs to look like is focusing less on on ourselves and more on what He wants us to do: love Him, live holy lives, and help others. Let's not overcomplicate this.

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27, ESV

♱

True Religion

What do you think about when you hear the word religion?

Maybe you picture a church building. Maybe you envision a cross. Maybe you imagine statues or cathedrals or altars or pews. Maybe the thought of religion brings you comfort, or it makes you want to run in the opposite direction.

Here's what the Bible says religion truly is:

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
James 1:27 NIV

True religion in God’s eyes is looking after the hurting and most vulnerable, as well as honoring Him with your life.

You can do this in countless ways. Here are just a few:

Physically: You could deliver groceries to a widow, teach a kid to read or play catch, help a friend in need, or foster or adopt a child (or support those who foster or adopt children).

Financially: You can give generously to ease the financial burden to those who don’t have much support. You could find a local church or charity to donate to, or offer to help with utility bills, kids’ extracurricular activities, or even pay off debt.

Emotionally: You can be the hands and feet of God—by showing up, listening, encouraging, and simply being present.

Spiritually: You can offer spiritual support or prayer to those who could use guidance, direction, or even reminders of what they already know to be true.

James writes that true religion in God’s eyes also involves keeping yourself “from being polluted by the world.” How can you do that? You can trust God’s heart. You can surrender to His ways. You can keep your eyes on Him.

Being “religious” isn’t about a showy facade or a spiritual checklist, but loving God and serving others—which, ultimately, makes us more like Him.


https://bible.com/bible/59/jas.1.27.ESV

Prayer: God, I know there are many hurting and lonely people in the world. Show me how I can be Your hands and feet to serve them. Open my eyes to see the needs of the vulnerable or struggling in my own neighborhood. Help me to love and serve like Jesus did. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Devotionals from my Bible app: Godly and Wise (Proverbs 23:24)

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Proverbs 23:24, ESV

Godly and Wise

If you’re a parent figure, you know that raising children can be the greatest joy you ever experience and the biggest struggle you face. And if you’re a follower of Christ, you likely feel an added burden to make sure your kids grow up to know and love God.

In Proverbs 23:24, the author points out that joy in parenting comes when our children are two things: godly and wise. So, how do we help our kids become more like Jesus and develop the wisdom they need to navigate the challenges of life?

While there are different ways, here are two to start with:

Find a Christ-centered community.
As a parent, you’ll need to surround yourself with a community that loves Jesus so that way you’re not alone when raising kids gets challenging. If you don’t have that today, commit to taking the next step in that direction—join a small group, get connected at church, invite friends over for dinner, or get to know a neighbor.

Teach kids to ask for help.
Whether your children are toddlers or teenagers, chances are high that they love being independent. “I can do it myself” might be one of the most common phrases you hear.

It's easy to think that developing wisdom comes from doing it all on our own, but James 1:5 reminds us that God will give us wisdom when we ask Him for it. The best way to help your kids develop wisdom is to point them to the source of wisdom.

Model what it looks like to seek help from God by praying with your kids—even if it’s uncomfortable.

Parenting is difficult, but it can also be rewarding. So as you commit to the daily challenges and joys of taking care of kids, remember this:

The greatest contribution you make to the world might not actually be what you do, but who you raise.

Think about the child or children in your life. Today, ask yourself, "What’s one thing I can start doing to help point the kids in my life toward Jesus?"



https://bible.com/bible/59/pro.23.24.ESV

Prayer: Father God, I am so grateful that I can call You my Father. In Your presence, I experience wholeness and joy. You are the greatest gift I have ever received. Today, please help me to live from a place of confident assurance as Your loved child. Give me Your wisdom and make me more like You. Allow me to go through life filled with Your great joy. In Jesus' name, Amen. 

Devotionals from my Bible app: Patience in the Waiting (Lamentations 3:25-26)

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:25-26, ESV

Note before sharing the devotional: I still struggle with both patience and waiting. Whether I'm in a season of preparation (like right now, preparing for a wedding, a honeymoon, a bridal shower, and a move all at once) or whether I'm in a season where there appears to be nothing going on and I'm awaiting answers from the Lord on what to do next. But on the rare occasions when I have taken well to waiting and learning to be patient, I've experienced His peace.

Right now my Bible app, YouVersion, is doing a monthlong daily devotional series on rest. Its timing makes sense as June is the first month of summer break, and even for those lines of work not directly affected by the school year ending (for example, pastors and church staff), the month of May still brings a sense of an end of a series of months in a row of what we could consider "the normal routine." Even in the corporate world (where I am, more or less) people tend to favor summer for taking a week or two off, to go somewhere different and unplug from work and the usual life.

The below photo is of a beach in Santa Cruz, California. Although I would now consider this experience a template for something that would await me years into the future, I took this photo - among a series of others - late on a Friday afternoon while I was waiting for something special, at least, something that I considered special at the time. What I waited for ended up being super brief and super temporal. The object of my waiting may not have turned out to be what I had hoped for, but what it represented was still legit and would come true (finally!) almost a decade later. Now, when I look back on this moment, I don't think much about what came after but rather the memories that were created in this waiting.

Patience in the Waiting

Imagine what your life would be like if you had received everything you wished and prayed for right away. What would you be like as a person if you got every gift you asked for, every relationship you hoped for, and a “yes” to every opportunity you pursued?

There’s a reason God often answers “no” when we ask Him for things. Not getting what we want teaches us patience and humility. We become more like Christ as we grow in these things.

Wanting something and then having to wait for it can be frustrating, but God makes that time fruitful as He refines our desires in the waiting. Sometimes we ask for a very different thing once we’ve had some time to think about it!

Cold winter months may seem to be a dead season, but as trees shed their leaves and “wait” out the cold, their roots go deeper and their nourishment systems are replenished. Like a tree with deep roots, time spent waiting is not wasted for those who belong to God. Waiting is a worthwhile time, if we seek to wait with Him. Even when it seems like nothing is happening on the surface, God is doing a good work.

Taking a weekly Sabbath rest might not seem “productive” in light of all the important things God has called us to do, but we can trust that He’s at work in those days of quiet, too. The Lord is good to those who wait with and for Him.


https://bible.com/bible/59/lam.3.25-26.ESV

Prayer: Father, You are so patient and faithful to be at work in me, even when I am impatient. Teach me to trust You, to seek to know You better, and to align myself more deeply with the things You love and value in seasons when I am waiting. Amen.

Devotionals from my Bible app: When You Need Support (Galatians 6:2)

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2, ESV

When You Need Support

Everyone carries burdens, and the things we go through shape the way we view the world, and ourselves. But we weren’t meant to carry our burdens alone.

In fact, Jesus says to the people following Him—

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. … For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."
Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

A yoke is a heavy wooden beam that lies across a pair of oxen, evenly distributing the weight of the loads they carry. But the term was also used by Jewish Rabbis. “The yoke of the law” symbolized complete submission to God’s law, and Rabbis taught that becoming yoked to it would free the Jews from enslavement to the world.

Jesus is using a phrase that His Jewish followers would have easily understood, but then He flips the illustration. He tells the crowd that they must yoke themselves to Him—because He is the fulfillment of their law.

When they do this, the burdens they carry won’t be heavy at all—because He will bear the weight of their burdens.

Paul references this teaching in his letter to the Galatian Christians:

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”
Galatians 6:2 NLT

The law of Christ is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love others as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40). But the only way we can fulfill the law of Christ is if we bind ourselves to Him. When we are yoked to Jesus, He becomes our source of strength.

He helps us endure hard situations and enables us to walk away from poor decisions. He fills us up with His love so that we can pour His love out onto others. He gives us the capacity to support other Christ-followers just like He supports us.

Just as Jesus bore our sins and suffering, we are called to bear the suffering of others. In this way, we show them the love of Christ and guide them toward Jesus.

Right now, spend a few minutes talking to God about the burdens you need help carrying, and then allow Him to show you the people in your life He wants you to support.

https://bible.com/bible/59/gal.6.2.ESV

Prayer: God, thank You for calling the body of Christ to carry each other's burdens. Help me to be quick to help others when I can, and to be willing to accept help when I need it. Teach me to be a good listener, to pray for others, and to lift those around me up in love. I want to be more like You. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Devotionals from my Bible app: Who Do You Trust? (Isaiah 26:4)

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:4, ESV

Note before sharing the devotional: as I was reading through this devotional while putting together the blog post, I thought the below image of a tree stretching out over the water was perfect. This is what I call my "Tree of Life" tree. (No joke, I even released a demo EP titled "The Proverbial Tree of Life" on my Bandcamp site over 10 years ago and used this as the album cover!) This tree sits over Geneva Lake at a retreat center called Conference Point, in Williams Bay, Wisconsin. I was on am overnight retreat with other 20s and 30-somethings at my former church. During one interval while on the full day we were there, we all were instructed to find a quiet spot to do a personal retreat while reflecting on a few questions. One of the guys in my group climbed up this tree for his spot. I found a different spot, one that was on the ground and much more comfortable, but I took notice at how this tree was shaped. On my next trip to Williams Bay, a couple years later, I made a point to go find this tree and take a photo, which is below.

Also while I was putting together this blog post, this Scripture verse from Proverbs also came to mind, not only because of the tree, but also the devotional. After all, who is your tree of life? Is it not, and should it not, be Jesus Himself?

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12, ESV

Who Do You Trust?

Maybe it’s a dream you’re holding onto, or a promise you’ve been given. Maybe you’re waiting on a person to change, or a situation to shift. Maybe you’re waiting for a prayer to be answered, joy to replace sorrow, or clarity and hope to replace confusion and chaos.

It can be difficult in the midst of pain, loss, and suffering to patiently cling to the One who promises to come through for us.

Isaiah was a prophet to the leaders of Judah during a time of national corruption and spiritual destitution. He foretold of his people being dragged away into exile because they were trusting in idols, political rulers, and other momentary things.

But Isaiah also reminded the people that God was sovereign, God would bring them out of exile, and God would one day send a savior to rescue them forever.

Isaiah didn’t live to see all his prophecies fulfilled—but he held onto the hope that he prophesied about, and his words to the people of Israel can continue to encourage us today.

Trust in the Lord even when circumstances don’t make sense.
Trust in the Lord even when you’re suffering.
Trust in the Lord even when your heart is breaking.

Come what may, trust in the Lord.

Seasons may shift, situations may change, people may abandon, desert, or betray you—but the one who remains constant throughout history is the God over history. The Lord is unchanging and immovable. Nothing can stand against Him or overcome Him.

He knows what it’s like to suffer because He suffered for us. And so we can trust God because He keeps His promises—and He has promised to fight for us, never leave us, make a way for us, love us, protect us, and remain faithful to us.

Since God is our salvation, we can trust Him and not be afraid.

So come what may, let’s choose today to trust in the Lord.

https://bible.com/bible/59/isa.26.4.ESV

Prayer: God, You are my source of strength and hope. You form the foundation of my life, and You overwhelm my fears with Your love. With You, all things are possible. Even when everything around me seems to crumble, I will trust and not be afraid -- for my future is found in You. Thank You, God! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Devotionals from my Bible app: A Way For Us To Rest (Exodus 33:14)

 A Way for Us to Rest

It feels intimidating to start something new without knowing how it will work out, whether a new relationship, job, project or even traveling to a new place. We never know what challenges we might face along the way. 

After God met the people of Israel at Mount Sinai, He gave them a new identity (people belonging to Him), new values (the Ten Commandments), and a new destination (the Promised Land). They had no idea where to go or how long it would take. As God led them further into the wilderness, He also gave these desert-weary people a promise to be with them and give them rest.

They had a lot of questions—about everything! Would they be able to find food and water? Would they meet enemies on their journey? How would they live their lives? 

Anytime we find ourselves in a new season, place, or situation, we cannot anticipate what we will need, and we get to benefit from the same promise God made to Israel then: His presence is enough, and we can trust Him. 

No matter what happens or where we go, He will be with us, and He makes a way for us to rest. 

You can trust that God will lead you into a future where rest is possible. Just as He provided Israel with manna to eat when they needed food, He provides for you, too. He is with you, and He is for you.

Prayer: God, Your presence is everything to me. Rest is only found in You. Thank You! You know everything about my journey. You see it all. Thank You for being present with me. Amen.

And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14, ESV

Relying on mercy and sovereignty amid expectations

6 “But if you or your descendants turn away from me and do not observe the commands and decrees I have given you and go off to serve other gods and worship them, 7 then I will cut off Israel from the land I have given them and will reject this temple I have consecrated for my Name. Israel will then become a byword and an object of ridicule among all peoples. 8 This temple will become a heap of rubble. All who pass by will be appalled and will scoff and say, ‘Why has the Lord done such a thing to this land and to this temple?’ 9 People will answer, ‘Because they have forsaken the Lord their God, who brought their ancestors out of Egypt, and have embraced other gods, worshiping and serving them—that is why the Lord brought all this disaster on them.’” 1 Kings 9:6-9, NIV

The above passage and accompanying recap (further down this post) really spoke to me. As part of my self-reflection in this season, I’ve become much more aware of not only the magnitude of my sin (even in the midst of others’ sins against me) but also my helplessness, without the Lord’s help, to overcome it. This does not mean that we should give in to the victim mentality, but rather that we should be trusting in and embracing God’s sovereignty.

Over the last few years, the prevailing opinions of those close around me have included cleverly-disguised self-sufficiency and a no-excuses attitude, which is great for refusing to settle for less than what is acceptable (whether it relates to holiness or to pursing something greater in life than where we currently are), but can push up against an attitude of self-reliance disguised as “walking by faith,” because after all, faith requires action. Worse, there’s an expectation not only that action is taken, but also that certain types of expected actions, taken a certain expected way, is done. I’m deliberately being vague here, as the above has applied across multiple different types of situations.

Before I proceed to the below, I say all the above because I’ve noticed how my thoughts and thought patterns have changed due to dealing with these challenges nonstop over the last few years. Regardless of what goes on in front of me, I still bear responsibility for my thoughts. And the reason that I say this at all – let alone share the below – is that I believe God shared these things with me in a dream a few years ago, well before these challenges began. He’s sovereign; He knew. And I think one of the most comforting things about the God of the Bible that I’ve needed to hear lately is that, as bad as sin is, and as necessarily bad the consequences of sin need to be, God looked ahead and came up with an “out” strategy – an “out” for the eternal consequences of sin, even if not an “out” for its temporal consequences. I need that. I need His mercy and His forgiveness.

The passage from the Book of 1st Kings takes us to a time during Solomon’s reign as king, to the point after he had finished building God’s temple as well as a house for himself and his wife. It was a 20-year process, and he and all of Israel capped it with a dedication ceremony and a feast. This moment in time was in a lot of ways, a checkpoint in history, where a major promise was fulfilled, and also where Israel finally seemed to settle in completely to the land that God had promised their ancestors dating back to the days of Moses. The years of rebellion even after they were finally allowed to enter the promised land within Canaan culminated in Solomon’s father, King David, capturing the rest of the land that previous generations hadn’t captured, and driving out all idolatry that had similarly plagued previous generations for centuries. David finally made Israel right with God for the first time, really ever. Building God’s temple (He previously lived in a tabernacle, again since the days of Moses when He first expressed His desire to be close to His people) was finally something that was able to be done, and Solomon was appointed to the task, which he saw through to completion. Like I said – checkpoint. As long as Israel walked with God and obeyed all His commandments and were careful to walk with Him in obedience in all their ways, they would flourish.

However, as the Bible goes on to describe in future chapters, it doesn’t happen. Israel falls right back into their sinful habits, and after another several centuries of bad kings followed by even worse kings, the majority of them were slain and the remnant taken into exile in Babylon as punishment. But right now, we’re not there yet. Right now, as of 1 Kings 9, Israel is in a sense at its pinnacle in all senses of the word: spiritually, economically, militarily, etc. But even the wisest king governing over Israel at its pinnacle has passed on wisdom, guidelines to pay attention and adhere to (the entire book of Proverbs is considered guidelines for right living, but not necessarily hard-and-fast rules, something that I had never known before) to try to ensure that God’s people might not fall again like every prior generation had done.

Nonetheless, I reiterate what I stated before: without God, man’s plans fall to ruin. We need the Lord; everyone needs Him. He knows that you and I and everyone else are going to screw up. Jesus was the only perfect individual who ever lived in the human flesh. And because God knew this, He had a plan ready, because we so need it.

[The Bible says that] the simple will be destroyed. This all happens. God knows. We know. But Solomon probably didn’t know. In that moment, [we] wonder what he thought about God. It’s easy to think of God as harsh here. … But that’s not what we see here, for two reasons:

First, God has already laid out the plan of redemption and restoration for them. Solomon himself spoke about it on Consecration Day [a short while earlier in Scripture]. A selfish god doesn’t act like that! A selfish god is unyielding and vengeful.

Second, God’s compassion and priorities are evident, even in these harsh words, because He always points back to the relationship He has with them. He rescued them. He brought them into this land. He came to dwell in this house with them. The whole conversation is peppered with reminders of their relationship. We see, again and again, He’s not just after their obedience; He’s after their heart!

I’m glad God has rules and a right way for things to be done. We’re broken, and we need that. And I’m also glad that He's forgiving. We inevitably fall short, [so] we need that, too. And I’m grateful [that] He even tells us in advance how He’s going to operate in this relationship with us. What a gift that we never have to wonder where we stand with Him!

If [we] have a problem with this passage, it should be with the wicked hearts of men, not with God’s response to their wickedness, because wickedness deserves punishment. Yet God still gives mercy. He’s righteous and just and loving and compassionate in all His ways.

Tara-Leigh Cobble, on The Bible Recap

Recently, I came across a video on YouTube of Cliff Knechtle answering the question whether Judas Iscariot was in hell for betraying Jesus. The short answer is, yes, Judas is in hell, but Cliff’s response contrasted him with Peter. Both Peter and Judas betrayed Jesus. But Peter’s response was to turn back to Christ and re-engage their relationship by asking His forgiveness. Judas gave into despair, never gave Christ a chance to forgive him, and, well, ended his own life.

Sin is bad. Its consequences are real, both temporally and eternally, but the eternal consequences can be avoided simply by recognizing one’s need for Jesus and one’s need for that relationship with Him. I’ve been praying for a simpler faith after not only having dealt with the challenges I’ve dealt with, but also the toxic, Pharisaic teaching that basically dumps the entire weight of responsibility on a person if they happen to be considered “lesser” in any way that is even remotely hinted at in the Bible (a prime example of this: “lesser” as “younger”). I know what I will stand for and what I will not stand for. Heads will not roll, but relationships will not be maintained either.

Forgiveness is indeed required [For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15, NIV] but reconciliation without boundaries and expectations is not. But while I must do my best to handle this in as Godly a manner as possible, He already knows how this is going to play out. All I can do is do my absolute best and continue to learn to trust God for the rest.

A stone from memory lane: milestones

 I've been doing a heck of a lot of reflecting lately, much of it centered around my relationship with God and where I fall short. OK, the truth is, due to my fallen nature, I fall short all around, and no amount or quality of "good deeds" will ever redeem me. Only Jesus Christ's blood sacrifice on the cross some 2,000 years ago will atone, so long as I am in Him and He in me.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23, NIV

When we receive Jesus Christ as our personal Savior, Lord, and King, His blood covers all, we receive the Holy Spirit (God the Third Person), and all we have to do is obey whatever the Holy Spirit tells us.

“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” John 14:15-21, NIV

When Jesus gave the Holy Spirit to His disciples (and to all believers since that day), we are no longer bound by the law (a heavy burden) but rather by whatever the Holy Spirit prompts us to do (a light burden):

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30, NIV

So when I say the phrase "where I fall short," what I mean is directly related to what God the Holy Spirit had specifically commanded me to do (or not to do), and I've done the opposite. I've alluded to it some in my last post, regarding a specific command related to a couple of key relationships currently in my life. If I repent (and I do) and remain/abide in Christ, then I'm not beholden to all the zillion Old Testament commandments (as well as some New Testament commandments and New Testament interpretations of Old Testament commandments). Rather, I'm only beholden to what the Holy Spirit tells me as I spend time with the Lord. And I believe this is the understanding that has been given me by the Lord regarding Jesus's statement "for My yoke is easy and My burden is light", especially considering that He also promises all His disciples and believers of future generations the Holy Spirit.

One of the things I've wrestled with as I approach my upcoming wedding are some flesh thoughts regarding this event. Simply put, my flesh thinks that this will be the biggest and most significant day of my life since I graduated college. But there's a problem: I received Jesus Christ as my Savior, Lord and King in 2013, after I finished school but before I met my love. That right there is and should be the most significant day of my life, period, because it affects not only my life but my eternity.

It brings to my mind a different kind of thought process that also revealed the state of my flesh. Back in the winter of my freshman year in college, I had a powerful experience with the Holy Spirit during praise & worship time with other Bible-believers and Jesus-followers at FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes), that compelled me to get up front and share my testimony. I don't remember many of the details of what I shared (high-level: I basically shared about my experiences needing to leave my previous church and how painful that was), but I remember feeling like this was an out-of-body experience as I was sharing. I also felt God reveal to me two fellow students to connect with further and talk about faith (two guys I already knew but not well). Bottom line, it was a great day and night of joy and fellowship with God and with other believers, and was the second such instance in my life where I felt and experienced love from many other individuals in the group. (The first such instance was via the youth group thrown together a year prior to provide some kind of spiritual stability for us teens while our church was going through intense tumult.) What set this experience with FCA apart is that I was being loved by others with God's love, and not with human love (if there was any, even today I cannot tell).

A couple months later I experienced again this communal love while on a mission trip to rural Arkansas with 11 others over spring break. We were a tight-knit group, and every moment of that trip was pure amazingness. As I look back, there may have been somewhat less of a saturation of people loving each other with God's love, and somewhat of a greater saturation of people loving each other with human love (after all, two of the folks in our group ended up marrying, and one of the other women in our crew ended up dating two of the other men at some point later). But nonetheless, between the trip to Arkansas and the tight-knit experiences a couple months earlier at various FCA events, God used those to reveal to me that experiencing true love - His love - was very much a possibility and a real thing.

And yet, after all that, six months later, my childhood best friend and I went to the local amusement park (my first time going... we would make an annual trip of this over the next 8 or so years). I rode on a bona fide roller coaster for the first time and got hooked. When I got home I posted on Facebook about my experience, with a photograph from the event. I forget if I declared this to be the best day all year (including above the experiences described in the previous two paragraphs), or if I declared it to be the best day since I experienced the Holy Spirit six or seven months earlier. Unfortunately, what was true in my heart at that time was that I considered the day at the amusement park to be even better. 

This is what I mean regarding reflecting on my relationship with God and where I fall short. Trials tend to expose our true, worst selves. I'm sure you have heard the phrase: that person just revealed their true colors. And I'm sure you know the context in which such a phrase is typically uttered: that person exposed their worst selves which they've been hiding all this time, and this is who they truly are. They've been lying to us all this time.

It's not wrong. After all, this is what Scripture has to say about our hearts:

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9, NIV

The truth is that the choice to receive - or reject - Jesus Christ as one's personal Savior, Lord, and King is the most significant event of anyone's life, because this sets the course for one's own eternity. After that, being born and dying are the next-most significant events in one's life, as these are the only dates listed on one's tombstone, for those still living afterward to remember the individual who had lived. Beyond that... one's life events are otherwise insignificant in the grand scheme of things. You have to look up in a book (or on Wikipedia) to find out when Johann Sebastian Bach was appointed his most prestigious job, or when Abraham Lincoln married his wife, or when Frank Lloyd Wright's father passed away. It is not to say that those events weren't significant to those who were alive at the time and close to the individuals in question. Finishing college and getting one's bachelor's degree is still something. A person is more likely to get hired with a useful bachelor's degree than without. Getting married is also arguably one of the most significant events aside from birth, salvation (receiving or rejecting), and death, as who you marry will undoubtedly determine the future of the family tree.

But I've been guilty, even this far in to life, of putting earthly events over spiritual events. Jesus is the only cure to that, as He is to all things. When the Bible says that the heart is beyond cure, that means all other cures aside from Jesus Himself. I tried therapy for a decade, and it really did help. But as the last three years have shown, it cannot fix everything, and there's a lot it cannot fix. Walking with God and having that personal relationship with Jesus is the only thing.

As for why I'm calling this a memory stone even though the events prompting this one are still ongoing, reflections and reactions to current events often invoke memories of and decisions from previous seasons. This is both a memory stone from the past as well as a memory stone in the making. I am getting married next month, and it will indeed be one of the most significant days of my life, not just due to long-term ramifications, but also to the round of changes that this event will prompt in the here and now. Certainly, there's a point to be made for comparing this to when I finished college, as the entire fabric and focus of my life completely changed. But, receiving Jesus Christ as my personal Savior, Lord, and King changes the fabric of both my life and my eternity. My heart (and everyone else's hearts) must reflect that.

A stone from memory lane: vowing to be a better person

 Sometime during my first semester in college, I realized that the type of person I was was not good enough, and nowhere near the type of person I wanted to become. So I made a vow (of sorts) to find a way.

To put it all in context: a year earlier, I made the painful decision to leave my home church and essentially go churchless, not really knowing where I was going to land or what church would look like in the future. Although a few adults had stepped in to save the teens from all dropping out of church altogether by putting together an emergency youth group Bible study for the last half of the school year, I finished high school and began college with no mooring except whatever was in front of me to do, which at the time was schoolwork.

I'll go ahead and spoil this for you: unlike every other memory stone story I've shared on this blog, this one has no date, nor any kind of event or incident that prompted this thinking. Part of me, this many years out, is also wondering if I instead had this thought a year later, during the fall of my sophomore year, when I was going through a very tough season. It seems like it would make more sense, except I stubbornly seem to remember it the way I described in the opening paragraph. So I'm going to go with it.

Over J-term, I started attending Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) meetings, including a lock-in one weekend, and a full day of broomball in the frigid January air in rural Minnesota. I should probably devote another blog post to do a further deep-dive on this, but I believe I experienced God revealing Himself to me that night, and prompting me to share my testimony in front of the other college students who were there. (I did not realize yet that I wasn't saved.)

Over the next few years, I had rises and falls, emotional highs and lows, successes and failures, as I went through college, graduated, embarked on post-college life in the middle of a recession, and after 1 1/2 years of struggle and failure, returned home between Christmas and New Year's to try yet again to figure life out. There were so many things I wanted to be, to do, and to have in life, and befuddled yet again as to how I wasn't making any progress on really any front.

Although I had seen counselors while in college, it wasn't until my late-twenties that the counseling I received over the next decade finally began to make a difference. Now, I have a lot of things that that version of myself from around twenty years ago pined for (not all, but many). But observing my own struggles coping with the precise difficulties that I've experienced solidly over the last three years (I've likened to "unlearning many things I learned in counseling") has led me to a realization: I can't make myself be a better person. All these different efforts, whether finishing school or restarting it a decade later, whether entering counseling or committing to growing in my faith, or any other major decision, were designed with the end goal that, if I were the person I wanted to be, I would be happy and life wouldn't be problematic. If there's anything that the last three years has taught me, it's that there will always be problems, whether it's problematic situations or problematic people.

At the end of the day, it's God who does the work of transformation:

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6, NIV

And sometimes, that work of transformation will take you places you don't want to go. But you go there anyway. You do it because you love God and you trust Him with all parts of this transformation work. After all, those who are saved love God and obey His commandments.

So I'm no longer vowing to be a better person anymore. I can't. But God can do what I can't.

I confess that even as of this post, I still resist being led to places I don't want to go. But as long as I repent (which I choose to do) God stands ready to forgive.

On authenticity: a follow-up

 A couple weeks ago I posted an addendum to a sermon preached at my church titled "Seven Habits of a Strong Christian," to where I added an eighth point, which goes as follows:

Strong Christians are authentic.

I still hold this to be true. After all, if one doesn't know what they're feeling or reacting to, this can lead to self-deception. Not long after, such a person can be attempting to deceive others and not know it, and then proceed to get offended when called out on their nonsense (because, after all, what they claim they really believe to be true).

However, we have to pump the brakes on this a little bit.

While I'm all for "being real" (the vernacular for authenticity), this practice can go to the opposite extreme. In a previous life, I had two close friends who had no problem being real, but had real problems being selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed. One might even say either or both of them were/are narcissistic. In my current life, there are (to varying degrees) three such persons who also fit this bill, one of whom I've butted heads with semi-regularly, one of whom thankfully has demonstrated just enough intelligence to not start anything with me, and the third who also remained quiet until recently.

Brief pause: as I continue to move through this post, my hope and prayer is that I demonstrate the right amount and degree of authenticity. I am going to "be real" about my experiences as much as they are pertinent to the points I wish to make. But I also don't want to turn into the type of person I just described in the previous paragraph. After all, God doesn't take very kindly to complainers:

Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Take the rod; you and your brother Aaron gather the congregation together. Speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water; thus you shall bring water for them out of the rock, and give drink to the congregation and their animals.” So Moses took the rod from before the Lord as He commanded him. And Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock; and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels! Must we bring water for you out of this rock?” Then Moses lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their animals drank. Then the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.” Numbers 20:7-12, NKJV

Today, if you will hear His voice: “Do not harden your hearts, as in the rebellion, As in the day of trial in the wilderness, When your fathers tested Me; They tried Me, though they saw My work. For forty years I was grieved with that generation, And said, ‘It is a people who go astray in their hearts, And they do not know My ways.’ So I swore in My wrath, ‘They shall not enter My rest.’ ” Psalm 95:8-11, NKJV

For who, having heard, rebelled? Indeed, was it not all who came out of Egypt, led by Moses? Now with whom was He angry forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose corpses fell in the wilderness? And to whom did He swear that they would not enter His rest, but to those who did not obey? So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief. Hebrews 3:16-19, NKJV

The last passage makes it clear that the reason is due to lack of faith. Generally complainers don't ever believe that the situation that they're crabbing about could ever be turned around for good. After all, "but God..." (and no, this is not the same as "but, God..."; that's complaining)

In short, I had a very brief texting conversation about a week or so ago with the aforementioned "third person" who is currently in my life. They wanted information and logistics about an upcoming event, which is still in the works. I provided whatever information I could, which wasn't much. The response I got in return was 1.) crabbing about the information I provided, specifically that it didn't work for them, and 2.) lecturing and blaming me regarding how things that were outside of my control that related to their earlier request didn't fit with their expectations. I shut down the conversation immediately and blocked the person. (My love had a similar type of text-conversation a month earlier, but she didn't shut it down; rather she just endured it.) A day or so later, one of my housemates who knows this person out of the blue tried to advocate for this person by saying that the individual "really cares but oftentimes doesn't know how to say it right." Neither my love nor I provided a response. We just said "ok" and changed the subject. 

(The truth is, there are some things that people say that completely miss the mark to the point that there is no right way to say it. This was one of those situations, and the individual in question is one of "those" people. No amount of sweet words could cover up the vileness of this person's heart.)

My two friends from a previous season in life were both real but both selfish narcissists. I confronted one of them quite a few times (not sure why I didn't bother to confront the other) on how wrong some of the things they were saying was. The response I repeatedly received was either one of really not understanding it, or getting defensive. I've also had similar conversations with one of the other aforementioned "three friends" from my current life, and while these conversations have overall gone slightly better, it's clear that not much has changed. When my love and I marry and move out next month, we will be more than glad to put these three folks in the rearview mirror as well. After all:

Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33, NLT

So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Matthew 5:29-30, NLT

In the end, proper authenticity requires humility... humility and wisdom. Be real and genuine about what you believe, but be humble about your position. Do not assume you know your audience. Although you are not responsible for what the other person's feelings or reactions are, I believe you bear responsibility if you speak injuring words needlessly. And when in doubt, don't say it. Pray for wisdom. Sometimes it is indeed better to keep your mouth shut if there is the possibility that your words might injure someone else or otherwise cause them harm. But if you are truly walking with God, He will give you insight as to whether to say it or not, and if so, how to say it.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5, NIV

I'll close this post by saying I know I still have a lot of work to do on this, myself. My years in therapy allowed me to find my freedom in speaking freely, for much of my life prior to that season was marked by my not speaking up out of an immense fear of saying the wrong thing and offending others. I still have a couple good men I call on the phone weekly, and we get real with each other about where our lives are each week. Especially over the last three years, I realize I've shared a lot of real experiences with my housemates, and I've had to learn how to dial it back. A few months ago, shortly after I'd gotten off the phone after one of these calls, I'd felt a prompting from the Lord to stop talking about my housemates. I'd like to say that I was obedient and I practiced obedience, but that hasn't been the case. I believe I did stop, for maybe a couple weeks, but then resumed speaking freely when the next incident occurred.

Where our strength stops, God's strength picks up. All we need to do is repent, return to Him, and ask His forgiveness. He stands ready to forgive those who are repentant.