Rewiring

It's weird staring at an empty box trying to figure out what to put inside. I rarely struggle with writer's block, mostly because I don't write if I don't feel like it. But, it's what all writers of all kinds -- literature, music, poetry -- suffer at some point or another in their lives. Even visual artists have to deal with this at some point. It'll happen if you tend to try and do this a lot and either have to or want to crank out new pieces of work. It's a pain in the butt, I'll give you that. As a composer I've had droughts where I just couldn't come up with anything. So I know your pain.

The box is gradually getting fuller. To be frank, I don't have anything deep or intense to share, and maybe it's because I've successfully begun the shift of thinking about myself all the time to thinking about others. I still have struggles in conversation trying to think of questions to ask the other person as he/she shares something in order to keep the conversation going. It's no longer because of fear, but because my brain never really was wired that way to begin with. Maybe God will help with said rewiring.

The Evanston Vineyard is getting all down-and-dirty with Scripture this month. Not that we haven't, for every service and small group I've been to digs into the Word every time. But I'd heard that perhaps the church lately had gotten a little carried away with the "spiritual gifts" idea, and this was a time we needed to get grounded again. Heck, at least I'm reading the Book of Joshua, which, honestly I'm not sure I would have had any stirring desire to read otherwise.

Here are some notes from Sunday's sermon:

1.) God is slow to go to war (Genesis 15:12-18 ["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis%2015:12-18&version=NIV"])

2.) God is not on anyone's side (Deuteronomy 9:1-4 ["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=deuteronomy%209:1-4&version=NIV"])

3.) God's aim is total freedom

4.) God has mercy for those who stand with him

5.) We now fight in God's war (1 Timothy 6:10-12 ["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20timothy%206:10-12&version=NIV"])

6.) We have to fight with all that is necessary for freedom (Matthew 5:29-30 ["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%205:29-30&version=NIV"])

Easter occurs late this year (April 24th). That means Lent starts late this year. But for me, Lent started a month ago ["http://amidthenoiseandhaste2.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-know-where-i-went-wrong.html"], when I first started my blog hiatus which has become rather a blog posting-merely-less-often. Guess I'm gonna have a long Lent this year, which I guess is something I wished for the last couple of springs.

P.S. Last weekend I learned three new German words: "Ich," "liebe," and "dich." If you recall from my blog archive, Ich nein sprach deutsch ["http://amidthenoiseandhaste2.blogspot.com/2005/05/ich-nein-sprach-deutch.html"], so I'll let you look up the phrase in the German-to-English dictionary on your own.

Who do I need to forgive?

A week or so ago, during a quasi-devotional session, I had a Biblical reference etched right in front of my eyes. Of course, it flickered between a couple books, Matthew and Luke, and then I received a couple of numbers, 6 (for the chapter) and 15 (for the verse). Long story short, it turns out the Gospel of Matthew, chapter six, verse fifteen (and fourteen as well, since they go together), was what God wanted me to read.

If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

--Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT) ["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%206:14-15&version=NLT"]

Then, as it often does, the thought faded away, thanks to amnesia. It was kinda like, ok, I need to forgive so God can forgive me... whatever..., without actually taking time to let it hit me. Well, that happened today. Sort of. Basically I was left with the question, "what or who do I need to forgive?" as well as the sister question "what sin(s) do I need to repent today?" I'm still figuring that out. If anyone who reads this receives words of wisdom from God -- i.e. a vision or something (and it has to be genuinely from God and not just something you want me to do or to hear) -- please tell me.