Sermons from Good News: Don't Get Rid of Love!

Blogger's Note: On Sundays, I will be copying and pasting on this blog notes I take in my phone from sermons at the church I attend. I'll be sharing sermons from the current week. On Wednesdays I'll also be sharing sermon messages dating back to October, when I first began attending my current church. Because of the backlog of sermons, I will be running posts on Wednesdays until sometime in May. My goal on Sundays is that sharing these sermons will theoretically be perpetual, or until I feel God nudging me to do something different. I want to also clarify that these are not my sermons, but rather the bullet point notes I put together. I enjoy our pastor's messages very much, and more importantly he preaches the Word of God as-is, which means the Spirit of God is imparting wisdom and knowledge through him. To God alone be the glory.

Church 1/30/2021

Offertory scripture:

God is big on honor. See below:

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; bring an offering and come into his courts. Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth.

Psalm 96:8-9 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Psalm%2096:8-9&version=NIV

Sermon message:

God loves you and wants you blessed. (So does Pastor Tim.)

God also delights in the prosperity of His people. He also wrote us a love letter, the Bible, in which there is wisdom. Lots of wisdom. Gold nuggets. He gives us hope. He gives us faith.

At the very beginning He is clear about this. It starts: God made man. He wanted us to commune with Him. Even after man fell and sinned, God still loves us. He gave us Jesus, the Bible, and the Holy Spirit.

Last week: we must get rid of the dust. If someone offends you, don't let it fester. Get rid of it.

Tonight: about holding on to the right things.

Thesis: don't get rid of love!

1. God is love. He is the source of all real love.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:8 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1%20John%204:8&version=NIV

2. Love is a royal law

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right.

James 2:8 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=James%202:8&version=NIV

In this context: Love = living in the spirit

3. Love will always be (it will always be there, even when so many other things change). Love never changes.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1%20Corinthians%2013:13&version=NIV

Hate will not always be; but love will always be.

4. Love is the greatest power

1 Corinthians 13:13. The greatest thing that lasts forever is love.

Faith and hope are both important and both are powerful. And love is greater than both.

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

Galatians 5:6 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Galatians%205:6&version=NIV

Contrast between the Law and love. Circumcision vs uncircumcision is related to Law. But faith expressing itself through love. Or faith that works by love. (Different translation.) point is, love is greater than the Law.

Paul was an apostle and a church planter. Paul loved people and loved God so much. He wanted to bless all who he was ministering to. His love shows through.

Love is the greatest power.

At one point while Jesus was eating with his disciples, a woman took extremely precious oil, dipped her hair in it.... and her tears, washed Jesus' feet. When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.” Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Luke 7:36-39,44-48,50 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Luke%207:36-39,44-48,50&version=NIV

5. Love is more important than spiritual gifts.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-2 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1%20Corinthians%2013:1-2&version=NIV

(Love is also more important than works.)

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:3 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1%20Corinthians%2013:3&version=NIV

Jesus goes to Samaria. He goes to show that His love and His grace is available for all.

Now Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that he was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John — although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples. So he left Judea and went back once more to Galilee. Now he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans. ) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?” Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” “I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.” “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” 21 “Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”

John 4:1-26 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=John%204:1-26&version=NIV

The power of Jesus' love impacts the woman and all in her village.

Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.” So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. And because of his words many more became believers.

John 4:39-41 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=John%204:39-41&version=NIV

An exhortation from Peter regarding staying alert and in God's love.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

1 Peter 5:8-9 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1%20Peter%205:8-9&version=NIV

Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Likewise, hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.

Now is the time, as Christians, for us to love others.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 John 4:7-12 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1%20John%204:7-12&version=NIV

God loves you and wants you to receive His love. And He wants to bless you.

The Lord said to Moses, “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: “‘“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. ”’ “So they will put my name on the Israelites, and I will bless them.”

Numbers 6:22-27 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Numbers%206:22-27&version=NIV

Reflections on my 2020, part 4: finding my love

The most significant blessing from 2020 was something I didn’t even go into the year planning (or even praying) for: a new relationship. Not only so, but an amazing one.

Shortly after the events in this post occurred, I received an unexpected Facebook message. At first glance, it looked like a reference for a potential piano student. Then the line caught my attention: “please be honest; if you’re not interested just let me know. I’m not sure if you’re in a relationship already, so let me know…. Please let me know if I should connect the two of you! No pressure at all. I offered to set this up.”

I immediately said yes. This led to a week of emailing, followed by a first date, first to her (now our) church, then to a Culver’s afterward. She gave me her phone number, unprompted, halfway through the meal. I gave her mine at the end. Date 2 was Valentine’s Day. Wanting to be a stand-up guy, I researched fine restaurants in her neck of the woods, presented them to her to ask which she preferred, and her answer was Panera (which wasn’t even one of the options I was thinking about). Given my financial struggles at the time, that was music to my ears. But it was also an insight to the kind of gal she is: down-to-earth, low-maintenance, practical… I loved it. (And I still do.)

Date 3 was set to be the following Monday. After some crises that came up over the weekend, I cancelled it, and said I needed to put a pause on dating. It was hard. Given the circumstances in my life at that point, all pinpointed around my finances, I couldn’t see how I would be able to continue dating when I struggled to simply manage my own life. That, and, thanks to therapy, I had learned and since developed high expectations for myself not only in terms of how I conduct myself around women (“be a man and not a boy”) but also being a man for a woman (“lead her, protect her, love her, cherish her”).

A week and a half later, we were back on. (And, happy to say, we’ve stayed back on!) My circumstances didn’t necessarily change from the day I told her I needed to put a pause on dating, to when I asked her out again, but I think my heart did. Certainly my focus. I knew I already liked her on our first date. But two moments stood out: the first was when I called her out of the blue late one evening after Hope for Artists at my former church, after I had dropped everyone else off, and she made time to talk with me. She was busy with work, and she had deadlines approaching. She was stressed. But she willingly made at least an hour, if not longer, just to talk to me. Until I recently reviewed a text history I had with a friend of mine who I happened to text on the same day as our first date, I had previously thought that this was the night I decided I really liked her. Even though I had already decided I liked her earlier, I saw another side to her, on a night when she wasn’t at her best, and was (and is) still sweet as can be.

Two nights later we talked on the phone again. I think I had invited her out — as a friend — to an upcoming event, even though I’d already invited her to a couple and she didn’t show. She expressed confusion over my inviting her like that. She told me it sounded like dating. I got scared. Was she mad at me? Here I was, only a week-and-a-half after I broke off our first foray into dating together, and it sounded like she was telling me “no” to hanging out, even while I was still trying to figure out the crises that were still before me.

I asked her out again. Truth is, I wanted to. I just didn’t know how I was going to be the kind of mature man I expect myself to be around a woman, especially one that I’m dating, when I still didn’t have these crises resolved. She said yes. (We’ve gone over this part of the storyline together numerous times, and from her side, it was: “of course I would say yes!”) Exhale. I felt happy and giddy inside. I still do.

Then she asked me a question: would I be willing to consider changing my career? Knowing some of the stories she shared about dates (I think all of them were single dates or even just messages with guys, before she and I got serious) where some of them really were not open to changing their mind regarding whatever it was she asked them to change their mind on. In short, it was an important question for her to ask me. Of course, there’s the practical aspect of it as well. For a marriage to work, we need money, and for us to have money, I would need to be willing to stop pursuing music full-time, like I had been for the previous 7 years.

Thing is, I was already there, even before she came into the picture. God had been preparing me. I told her, I had to change my career anyway, for the simple fact that I was perpetually a month away from living on the street, for many months now. She later told me that she breathed a huge sigh of relief. Looking back on these two nights, they were pivotal in terms of us really looking at each other as seriously as we have been since, regarding a future together.

A month later, we had probably the closest thing to an argument in our relationship. COVID hit the fan, and our governor had issued a shelter-in-place order. I still kept working at my old job because I just didn’t have a new one lined up yet, although I had had a couple different interviews by this point. She wasn’t pleased. We hashed it out over the course of the next couple days, and we each grew in understanding of each other.

The only other hitch that threatened to derail us early on was politics. (You can read more in Part 2 of this post series.) I’ll admit I was skeptical that it would ultimately work out on that front, not because of what I thought and felt about her views, but what I feared she might think about mine. That said, God showed up over the course of the next few months as He and I hashed it out. By August or September I was largely at peace with shifting my perspective, especially as I got to know my love and her family more on what they thought about things and why.

Now, we’re just waiting on God’s timing. I’m so excited I can’t wait. But I must, until the time is right. All the while, while I admit I still wrestle internally particularly with why the timing isn’t going any faster, I praise God. I praise God for my love, for her family, and how He’s used our relationship to accomplish other circumstantial shifts in my life that I have already blogged about, and what shifts that are still yet to come. Can’t wait.

Sermons from Good News: Encouragement in a time of discouragement

Blogger's Note: On Wednesdays for the foreseeable future, I will be copying and pasting on this blog notes I take in my phone from sermons at the church I attend. My goal is to share both current week sermons (which will be posted on a different day of the week) as well as catch up on the backlog of notes. I want to also clarify that these are not my sermons, but rather the bullet point notes I put together. I enjoy our pastor's messages very much, and more importantly he preaches the Word of God as-is, which means the Spirit of God is imparting wisdom and knowledge through him. To God alone be the glory.

Good news Pastor Tim sermon

10/3/2020

Encouragement in a time of discouragement

Discouragement loss of confidence

Discouragement loss of enthusiasm

It's not of God. God is good. Discouragement is bad

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=James%201:17&version=NIV

“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”

Matthew 19:17 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Matthew%2019:17&version=NIV

how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.

Acts 10:38 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Acts%2010:38&version=NIV

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Galatians%205:22-23&version=NIV

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;

James 1:13 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=James%201:13&version=NIV

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1%20Corinthians%2010:13&version=NIV

Discouragement comes from Satan

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10:10 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=John%2010:10&version=NIV

Discouragement can come by the words and actions of others

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,

Psalm 1:1 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Psalm%201:1&version=NIV

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 13:20 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Proverbs%2013:20&version=NIV

Discouragement can also come from words of friends and family and other believers
Discouragement can come in good times or bad times
Satan will use whatever he can to get your eyes on the negative

Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

Proverbs 4:27 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Proverbs%204:27&version=NIV

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:18 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=2%20Corinthians%204:18&version=NIV

You can overcome discouragement

How to overcome discouragement
Take in God's word

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

Joshua 1:8 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Joshua%201:8&version=NIV
Speak faith and not doubt

you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth.

Proverbs 6:2 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Proverbs%206:2&version=NIV
Encourage yourself and others

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

Galatians 6:7 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Galatians%206:7&version=NIV

Give people courage so that you will also receive courage too. Our words have power.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 18:21 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Proverbs%2018:21&version=NIV

Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a ruling rightly given.

Proverbs 25:11 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Proverbs%2025:11&version=NIV

Sermons from Good News: Getting rid of the dust

Blogger's Note: On Sundays, I will be copying and pasting on this blog notes I take in my phone from sermons at the church I attend. I'll be sharing sermons from the current week. On Wednesdays I'll also be sharing sermon messages dating back to October, when I first began attending my current church. Because of the backlog of sermons, I will be running posts on Wednesdays until sometime in May. My goal on Sundays is that sharing these sermons will theoretically be perpetual, or until I feel God nudging me to do something different. I want to also clarify that these are not my sermons, but rather the bullet point notes I put together. I enjoy our pastor's messages very much, and more importantly he preaches the Word of God as-is, which means the Spirit of God is imparting wisdom and knowledge through him. To God alone be the glory.

Church 1/23/2021

Offertory scripture:

Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.

Proverbs 3:9-10 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Proverbs%203:9-10&version=NIV

Announcements related message
Importance of community
"Do not forsake the gathering of the saints." From book of Hebrews.

Sermon message

Pastor role: he's here to preach the word of God. Not the newspaper or anything else. Just the word of God.

The Bible also says to pray for those in leadership, in authority.

Thesis: we must get rid of dust.

God wants us blessed. God loves us. He loves us so much that He sent Jesus Christ to die for our sins.

Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.

3 John 1:2 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=3%20John%201:2&version=NIV

God wants us to KNOW His love and desire for us that He wrote us a love letter. The Bible. He wants us to know Him. He wants us to talk to Him about what's on our heart and on our mind.

Pray in the morning. Pray in the afternoon. Pray in the evening.

God wants you to know He's available.

Question of how we keep our faith amid a changing world...

The Bible has advice on life skills...

Through His apostles...

Jesus is the son of God. Born of a virgin. Lived on earth 33 years. No one has impacted the world like Him. But His ministry lasted only 3 years. It's because rabbis are taken seriously only at 30 years of age. He then ascends after being crucified and resurrected. But before He ascends He passes the torch to the apostles. The responsibility of spreading the Gospel throughout the world. It went from 12 to 120 to... now 2.7 billion Christians in the world. How did Jesus pass it to the apostles? Gifts of life skills... golden nuggets of life skills...

11 Whatever town or village you enter, search there for some worthy person and stay at their house until you leave. 12 As you enter the home, give it your greeting. 13 If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.

Matthew 10:11-14 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Matthew%2010:11-14&version=NIV

18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

John 15:18-19 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=John%2015:18-19&version=NIV

1. We must shake the dust off our feet.

We must get rid of the dust.

Don't get stuck in the dust; we must move past it.

Fact is, some people will receive the Good News of Jesus Christ; others won't. Don't let them bog you down.

2. The dust Jesus is telling us to get rid of us offense.

A conflict. An offense. Unresolved issue with a loved one, a friend, etc. -- get rid of it because it will slow you down.

Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!

Luke 17:1 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Luke%2017:1&version=NKJV

Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come.

Luke 17:1 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Luke%2017:1&version=NIV

3. There is danger in offense.

Several visual illustrations of what happens when dust collects: it causes machinery to slow down and even stop working. It distorts photos, especially if dust collects in rolls of film.

People at home will offend you.
People at work will offend you.
People at church will offend you.
People in politics will offend you.
But you must shake it off and move on.

Paul reminds us how to handle offenses.

The islanders showed us unusual kindness. They built a fire and welcomed us all because it was raining and cold. Paul gathered a pile of brushwood and, as he put it on the fire, a viper, driven out by the heat, fastened itself on his hand. When the islanders saw the snake hanging from his hand, they said to each other, “This man must be a murderer; for though he escaped from the sea, the goddess Justice has not allowed him to live.” But Paul shook the snake off into the fire and suffered no ill effects. The people expected him to swell up or suddenly fall dead; but after waiting a long time and seeing nothing unusual happen to him, they changed their minds and said he was a god.

Acts 28:2-6 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Acts%2028:2-6&version=NIV

Reflections on my 2020, part 3: leaving Vineyard

It began at the end of September in 2012. It was at a worship conference for all the Chicago-area Vineyard churches down at the South Suburban Vineyard in Flossmoor, Illinois. I believe it was on the Saturday of the weekend, during worship time, when I heard a still, small — but distinct — voice of calm tell me, literally out of the blue: “You will not be at the Vineyard forever.”

I think my reaction in the moment was, simply: “huh??” I was not expecting it, and it seemed so contrary to other prophetic prayer and messages I had received in the 2 1/2 years I’ve been regularly attending the church, because, well, it was. Over time, my next reaction was confusion, and then eventually, fear. After all, Vineyard was home, and I had forsaken a professional move to Batavia just a couple months prior, largely because of staying at this church.

Eight years later, and many of the people that made the Vineyard the Vineyard for me have moved on, either to other churches, or to other cities. Jeremiah, one of three friends I had left in Chicago when I returned from Minnesota who first introduced me to the church, moved to Southern California over three years ago. Alan and Alison, who led the first small group/Bible study I was in, moved back to the United Kingdom sometime mid-decade to plant a church they felt God was leading them to plant. The vast majority of my peer-age group that was there the first couple years, have all either left due to a church plant, relocation, dating relationship opportunities, or just simply to go to a different church. In 2016-2017, not long after Trump was elected the first time, many older-generation folks (older than me, anyway) left because, well, partially because of politics, but moreso because they felt unwelcome because they disagreed with certain stands Vineyard leadership had taken. (This is just based on what little snippets I’ve heard.)

For the first four years I was at the Vineyard, I had really no reason to doubt (aside from my own personal triggers and depression) that this was the place for me. A lot of key components that made this home for me were: 1.) they preached the Word, 2.) they also preached the Spirit and listening to the Holy Spirit, and had conferences that focused on that; 3.) they emphasized spiritual, mental, and emotional healing, which I desperately needed, in addition to physical healing. And in the fourth year I was there, God moved in powerful ways for me that led me to: 1.) become a co-leader in a small group; 2.) become a member of the church (and as such, begin tithing); and 3.) get baptized. During that time I heard lots of prophetic words spoken over me. It was certainly quite a time.

In the fifth year was when the Vineyard started getting away from what had, in my opinion, made it so good. By this point, we had lost practically half the young folks (people my generation) to two different church plants, one of which ultimately folded after a few months. But it was also 2014, when uproar around cops’ violence against black folk really started occurring. And as a church which I do believe God declared would (and since has) become a multi-national and multi-cultural church, they believed it was their responsibility to go all-in on racial reconciliation. While I chose to trust that the church was indeed following His leading, it was also the first inkling that felt to me that it was getting away from that which had "made it so good,” i.e. Word, Spirit, and an emphasis on healing. That said, while I was not feeling as connected with the Vineyard on these accounts, I knew it alone wasn’t enough to sway me to leave. So even as I began contemplating exploring other churches, I stayed.

Around 2017 or 2018, the Vineyard did reverse course and get back to emphasizing Word and Spirit. There was a sermon series that lasted for 12 months titled "Eating Well", which was basically a slow trek through the New Testament, from the Gospel according to Matthew all the way through the Book of Revelation. I will confess that I didn’t participate in the weekly reading assignments that all church members were invited to participate. But the sermons suddenly became rich again. In November 2019 the church hosted a Holy Spirit conference, which God used to really minister to me. And then in January 2020, the pastors began preaching a sermon series on sexuality, which was due to go all the way to Easter.

In the meantime, the coronavirus pandemic arrived. I remember being on the phone with my friend Greg, who works security, who happened to be at the church (and we were on the phone together) on the day the senior pastor first pronounced: “no church Sunday,” before even making it official to the rest of the church. Church moved online, the sermon series on sexuality was interrupted (understandably so), replaced by messages of faith and hope as we began to navigate times that were uncertain for all.

After that, the spokes slowly came off. First it was the mere fact that church (and everything else) was strictly virtual as our state went under lockdown. A couple months later, the Evanston Vineyard decided to move their services off Facebook Live and strictly on to their website, which I could not access via either my computer or my phone, and when I asked about possibilities of them streaming their services to alternate platforms like Facebook or YouTube, I was told that that wasn’t happening. Frustrating, and very disappointing, but I still was signed up for a few church-wide classes, as well as a small group that I’ve been a regular at. I was still getting Word and community (virtually, anyway), if not much else.

Then George Floyd’s murder happened. Facebook suddenly became a war zone. And so many people I thought I knew suddenly revealed dark sides that I never would have thought were there (and certainly had hoped weren't there), simply on account of the fact that, by all appearances, they were church-going Jesus-followers. But, in their angry posts and angry back-and-forths, the vast majority of the outrage I saw didn’t mention Jesus or even God. It was like they kicked their faith to the curb because, “doggone it, injustice was happening and people need to conform to this new agenda that is really the only way to make it right, to make justice actually be justice, once and for all.” So much for “vengeance is mine, says the Lord.”

I didn’t stop tithing at the Vineyard — and instead begin tithing at Good News — until September. It wasn’t until late October that I finally started telling the first couple of people, including one of my close friends from the Vineyard with whom I’ve developed such a close bond that it would likely take death to separate us (and even then, only temporarily). More recently, I’ve begun sharing news of my church change with more people. But saying goodbye has been hard. Vineyard meant so much to me for a long time, at many points in my life when I was struggling. God certainly used the Vineyard as a means of healing.

As for, “you will not be at the Vineyard forever,” it truly began in earnest at the beginning of 2019. I had had a falling out with a key relationship (non-dating) that in itself had begun to show its cracks the previous year. As a result spent the rest of 2019 (and into 2020) feeling rather nomadic while still attending church. It was during this time that, for the first time, the idea of me really leaving the Vineyard began to make sense. Even though I was still active in various ministries there, because of the aforementioned falling-out, I felt like I lost a key piece of what had made this place home, through all the twists and turns.

I think, too, that I was weary. I’d been working on myself to become a better, stronger, and healed person for what was now a long time. I wanted to move on to other things, other blessings, in life that I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to find at the Vineyard (not a fault of the church, mind you). But then the thought of saying goodbye felt daunting, on account of how many people I would have to consider saying goodbye to and explaining my reasons. (And of course, then deciding where I might go.) I believe God used the pandemic to provide the perfect cover. That, and I believe He used my girlfriend to help provide the church. Speaking of which...

Truth Revival Needed

"I told you so."

When I think about what church must've been like prior to the "Jesus" revivals in the 1970s, those four words come to mind. After all, the 1970s revivals brought a number of new phrases, new credoes: "what would Jesus do?" "Let go and let God." And so on. A lot more emphasis seemed to be on the Gospels and specifically on Jesus' teachings. And sure, that's what our faith as Christians should be, in a nutshell: following Jesus, right?

I heard a sermon at my previous church not long before I left it, where it addressed an apparently common sentiment: "I like Jesus but I don't like Paul." The sermon went on to say that Apostle Paul was legitimate, in part because he fasted and prayed for three days after encountering Jesus directly. Not to mention he had scales on his eyes and was unable to see during that time.

As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”
“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.
“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”
The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.

Acts 9:3-9, NIV

[First I'll address the donkey in the room: Saul in this passage = Apostle Paul. He did not change his name; his name was simply "Saul" in one language, and "Paul" in another.]

So, what was happening in those three days? Well, according to the sermon I heard, Paul likely was talking to Jesus the whole time, and, given that Paul had been a Pharisee, the two likely spent a LOT of time talking about the Law and the Prophets (because the Pharisees knew the Law word-for-word). I bet Paul had lots of questions for Jesus regarding as much, each of which He answered. After that encounter, Paul was never the same. So, yes, Paul was very much a legitimate follower of Jesus, and just as importantly, legitimate as canonical scripture are all his letters, which comprise much of the New Testament.

But for some reason, the 1970s revivals must not have focused on Paul's teachings, which is largely a rewording of Jesus' teachings, just expressed through a different person. Churches gravitated toward things explicitly written in the Gospels, such as the golden principle ("do unto others as you would have them do unto you"), toward turning the other cheek, and churches gravitated toward seeing and portraying Jesus as a lamb, and so on. Get along with everyone. Jesus loves you. Be peacemakers. And so on.

Thing is, these aren't bad teachings. If anything, they are excellent teachings. After all, they're in the Bible, and their context isn't "Satan said" or anything like it, which means they're true. And for there to be such an emphasis on these particular things tells me that, prior to these revivals, the church must have been lacking in teaching these areas.

So then, what were the churches all about? What were they preaching, if not that Jesus loves us?

Cue the phrase "I told you so."

Let's take it out of a religious context. When does someone say that? When they're right. When they tell someone else something that's true, even when that other person doesn't want to hear it. Then, when the other person does what they want, despite the warning from the first not to do it (or maybe to do something that the other person didn't want to do; it could work either way), and then it blows up in the second person's face, it would absolutely appear that the first person was right.

"I told you so."

And yet, over the course of the next five decades, it seems we did everything in our power to avoiding even getting close to that point. In the meantime, as we saw and heard truth being preached less and less, except for the few things that people would be more open to hearing, we also saw something else begin to arise: "my truth." "Your truth." "His truth." "Her truth." Therapy was beginning to no longer be taboo. One thing that I suspect helped was a rise in divorces, thereby breaking family units. Even in certain situations where a divorce may have been necessary, but largely in cases where it really wasn't, we saw a surge in cases of personal trauma that was no longer confined to cases of abuse or violence. Enter therapy to the rescue. People now had the freedom to express "my truth" in ways and in frequency that may not have been available to previous generations. "My truth", "your truth", "his truth", and "her truth" was "in". But what was no longer "in" was "the truth." I mean, who wants to hear that when "my truth" is so, so important?? 😡

We need a truth revival. One that says that there is indeed life after death (aka the soul passing away out of the body), that heaven is real, that hell is real, and that Jesus Christ is the one and only way to heaven.

I know a thing or two about "my truth." Discovering "my truth" became very important as I was trying to come to grips with what was at the time a failed adulthood, along with all the pain that led me to expend all my energy on merely surviving my entire life up to that point. Changing "my truth" then became just as essential as I finally grew and began rewriting my story. "My truth" is still a very important part of my life, but as I grow in relationship with Jesus more and more, His truth also needs to become more important. After all, in any relationship, let alone one with Jesus, it can no longer be only about my truth. And in fact, with Jesus, it needs to move to a place where it's more and more about His truth (aka the Bible) and less and less about my truth. And whether with Jesus or with another person, having both "my truth" and "your truth" become very important pieces of allowing both sides to be heard while having an argument. Short of absolute truth, that is.

You see, the place I went to go get healing, called "The Baldwin Center," preached "my truth." But it was also Christian. "How is this possible?" you may ask. Because the structure of the healing work, and all components that came with it, was framed by Scripture. Scripture was also strategically preached, to prepare each participant as he dared to bare open his wounds and finally get a different experience. It was a place where the God of the Bible truly could show up as each participant dared to take such a risk.

Contrast that with another healing center called "the Mankind Project." They did a lot of the same things that the Baldwin Center did: weekends, groups, and even I'm told many of the same exercises were present at both places (I've had friends who went on weekends and attended groups there). They too preached "my truth."

But--where the two places differed was the one place also preached absolute truth, an absolute standard by which all, including the leaders and facilitators, would be held accountable, and the other didn't. I confronted a friend once -- a scary risk for me to do -- over wrong behavior that he was frankly in denial of doing until the entire church called him out for it. He and I had a number of one-on-one conversations around this. These conversations primarily consisted of me having to lay the same boundary with him over and over regarding my role in a ministry where I was a leader and he was a member (specifically that, when it came to anything directly related to this ministry, my responsibility was to fulfill my role as a leader first, ahead of our friendship). But part of my discussion with him was also specifically tied to a conviction I had that the healing that he boasted (the Mankind Project) wasn't enough in terms of sufficient healing. He still needed Jesus, and he didn't have Him. After all, he boasted about "all the work he's done" and how mature he seemed to himself, and yet he defiantly resisted correction, until he realized he stood absolutely alone on the issue of his behavior and stood to lose everything if he didn't change. The Mankind Project, while boasting a very impressive array of options and opportunities for personal growth, still lacked one key thing: the necessity of absolute truth, a standard by which all could be held accountable. Consider the following situation without that absolute standard: what happens when there's an argument that needs to come to a resolution, and no one is willing to budge? What happens if one of the leaders is getting arrogant and treating the participants like garbage, and upon being called out, responds: "well, my truth is that YOU..."

We need a truth revival. We've overcorrected from "I told you so" and instead along the "God is love" and "turn the other cheek" lines, so much so that we turn the other cheek even if someone persists in being prideful, selfish, arrogant, idolatrous, or any of the other evils that the Bible rightly calls evil.

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10, NIV

We've overcorrected so much that, according to our society, it's now considered wrong to hate. And yet the Bible says differently:

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

Proverbs 6:16-19, NIV

Not to mention we've overcorrected so much that calling sins sins is now considered wrong, rather than the sins themselves.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:23, NIV

In the end, I don't want to be the one saying "I told you so", because I'd rather be the one saying "I'm telling you so." But if I must, then I must, because we need a truth revival.

Reflections on my 2020, part 2: becoming Republican

Of all the changes that I have and will list that have occurred in my life in 2020, this was probably the most significant, even with so many significant changes that have occurred. The simple and short version is that this has been a paradigm shift that has had a ripple effect on how I've looked at so many other things. And as you'll see in this post -- this particular change did not come easily. But it did come willingly, especially once I saw where God was in relation to this.

Early on in my relationship, my love told me that one of her deal breakers was that the man she would date and marry had to be(come) a down-the-line Republican. At the time, that felt like the gauntlet was being thrown. But I’ve come to enjoy it. For one thing, politics has become something for me that it has never really been: fun.

It wasn’t at first. I remember one of our phone calls in March my love went off on a political tangent (I forget about what) that had me breathing really fast and loud, not realizing it until she pointed it out and asked if I was ok. I admitted that there were some things that I was hearing that were really hard, and explained that my worldview involved thinking outside the box, with the results of my perspective including some conservative views, some liberal views, and some moderate views. I think I remember asking if that would be a problem. I think her response (either to that theoretical question I think I asked, or sometime later) was that while there were some issues that mattered to her more than others, there were others where she could agree to disagree.

The biggest thing at the time for me in my heart was: “Trump is going to be a very hard sell.” My primary objections at the time about him both personally and as president were 1.) he’s not a real Republican; how can even conservatives support him? 2.) he doesn’t care about other people, only himself. 3.) unlike Jesus, he doesn’t care about immigrants. 4.) at one point, he even mocked Jesus publicly.

Well, I voted for him anyway in November. And it wasn’t anything to where my love had to twist my arm. Rather, it came out of a lengthy series of conversations (and sometimes arguments) that I had with God over the course of a number of months. At one point, when another person in my love and my circles outright stated to me: “God is political,” I ranted to Him over that one, about as angry as I have ever been about anything in my life. His response was to send my way a number of YouTube videos reminding me that hell was real. He threw down the gauntlet. And I shut up. And on Election Night, my love and I spent part of the evening together doing something I have never done in my life, whether it was when I identified as liberal, moderate, or disillusioned sit-on-the-sidelines-down-the-line-third-party voter: I actually stayed up to track the election results as they unfolded. And then checked in periodically at work the next day. And then the following evening over Zoom with my love. And then again at work the following day. And so on.

[I want to add a side note. It’s not often that I share very real interactions between God and me. I’m aware of my audience, which includes people across the entire political spectrum, as well as faith spectrum. Yes, hell is real, but my wish is to remind all that that’s not the thing that God is about. He wants everyone in heaven with Him. But, those who want to get into heaven have to believe. We have to believe not only that He is real, but that sin is real, and that it gets in the way of us having a relationship with Him, which is absolutely necessary for entry into heaven. Fact of the matter is, because God created the universe, He gets to make up all the rules. And I mean, all of them. Homosexuality — specifically defined as acts of sex between two (or more) members of the same sex — is a sin and angers God. Pretending that there is no God and therefore no morals won’t change that fact. It also won’t change the fact that, once you die, you will meet him and receive your judgment. And from what I hear, it is swift. He doesn’t beat around the bush. And if you haven’t received Jesus as Lord of your heart and your life, you’ll be in hell before you have a chance to defend yourself before God.

That said — the good news is that, there is still time. How much time, I cannot say. I wish to press this with urgency that saying “yes” to Jesus, “yes” even despite your sin and brokenness and pain, that’s what makes the difference. Yes, it may seem stupidly ridiculously simple. But with all the lies that the world has been circulating, seemingly more than ever, and seemingly more convincing than ever, as well as all the events that have happened in this world in 2020, I'm getting the impression that time is short. After all, the world can't go on in this turmoil forever, can it? And would a good God let it go on forever? The answer is no. Ultimately, the answer is no. And while it can be considered a good thing that all the things that are bad will someday come to an end, with a God who is in charge of the universe, that end will not be good for most. And no, it will not be in the form of a worldwide vaccine. For those who don't believe, this will likely sound insulting, but at this point, I don't care: the answer is simply saying "yes" to following Jesus and what's written in the Bible, and it also means saying "no" to everything else that He wants you to remove from your life. And when He says "everything else," He literally means "everything else."]

Basically with Trump, it became clear that he was indeed doing all he can to protect the church, especially once the coronavirus hit the United States. I started finding it strange that people who were very much pro-“protection against the virus” singled out churches as virus-spreading events, while liquor stores weren’t considered such a problem. Trump rightly called B.S. on that, among many other things. And while I was definitely a skeptic to begin with, I started seeing more and more of what he was doing that was right.

The main domino that fell was when it dawned on me — again, completely independent of what my love was saying to me about her deal breakers — that there was a very tangible spiritual darkness that surrounded the liberal political agenda. I had been kind of aware already (for some time, really) about what I considered a “humanist” agenda that seemed specifically aimed at Christianity. Things like: “The Bible wasn’t really written by God; it was written by humans and therefore prone to error.” Just that alone, and you have a slippery slope that can land you at: “because the Bible isn’t true, there’s no God, therefore not only can we do what we want, but if you even so much as disagree with us, you’re against us and you’re the enemy.” When I was working at my previous job, I started getting that sense from some individuals I worked with who expressed the first view about the Bible, that they were also liable to think the second, more hostile view. But I had simply chalked that up to humanism, an anti-God sentiment that purports that we human beings, we are gods and therefore our truths — collectively — is Truth.

It wasn’t until I saw how humanism wasn’t just an “ism” or a grassroots agenda, but that it also had a political component, did the pieces begin to fit together. As a Christian, the humanist agenda to me is an agenda by the devil. Because Satan hates God, of course he will find ways to deceive us so that we worship anything else but God. Worshiping ourselves as gods (aka the “humanist agenda”) accomplishes just that. And so it follows that the roots of the pro-choice agenda, the gay rights agenda, and now this latest element of gender “fluidity” (aka confusion) would lead to self-worship. All of this self-examination (cleverly disguised) leads to really an obsession of self. And if we obsess over ourselves, we end up worshiping ourselves as if we ourselves were God.

Thing is, this is the platform of the modern Democratic Party. Sure, there’s environmentalism, and big government, and big taxes. But, I’ve lived in Chicago most of my life, and I learned from an early age about the Democratic Machine. They (and the state of Illinois, for that matter) have taxed big, for generations now. And where has most of that money gone? Into their pockets. The more power one has, the more that that one is corrupted. And while the Republican Party has been far from perfect (they too, since the W. Bush days, have been big-government, for reasons which I don’t understand), at least under Trump have appeared to get back toward the things that matter to God the most: supporting Israel, supporting Christian churches across the United States, and moving toward supporting the unborn. While I still disagree with the notion that God is on the side of the Republicans, I do agree that if the Republican Party gets on God’s side and does His will, He will absolutely bless them and support them. And, over the last four years, I now see that that has been the case. 

As for the four bullet points regarding my reservations about Trump at the beginning of the year, here are my answers now to each of them: 1.) he may have not been a "real Republican" prior to becoming president, but looking at his acts and actions as president (see previous paragraph), he has shown otherwise; 2.) I think this is hard to measure. He likely still has a big ego, but then again, a lot of his acts and actions as president (see previous paragraph) have shown that he can care about others and not only so but put himself on the line for others; 3.) I've wrestled with the disparity between the US's stance on immigration compared with the Bible's stance. It seems to me that the two don't agree. My answer regarding the US and specifically Trump on this topic right now is akin to my answer regarding some of the things Apostle Paul has written in some of his letters that I struggle with: they're both human, and so long as they demonstrate the amount and kind of obedience that pleases God, He gives them some grace regarding some of the other stuff; 4.) I'll admit that wasn't his best moment. Why I could see some overlooking it is that appearances, while they matter, aren't everything. For example, one of the main positive things on his ledger is that he's brokered a number of peace deals between Israel and several of their neighbors (also see here and here). What that tells me is that he realizes the importance -- Biblically -- of being on Israel's side.

Genesis 12:1-3 (NIV) puts it this way:

The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

In the end, God will deal with him how He sees fit when the time comes. My guess is He will likely be much more merciful, certainly more merciful than many of his critics wish Him to be. We all make mistakes, but if Trump truly repents even of that moment, then God is more than willing to restore him. Just like with any of us. Point is, actions are much more consequent than appearances. And his actions as president has shown his obedience to God. And I see that.

Bottom line, the transformation regarding my paradigm shift has been all between God and me. My sweetie hasn’t even had to work too hard to sway me. And as I share in future posts, it'll be more evident some of the ripple effects of this shift.

In my next post, I will share about leaving the Vineyard, because it dovetails off this post. But I will say here that a key last-straw component was the uproar that I witnessed among (now former) church members after the murder of George Floyd in late May. I posted about it back in June (you can click here to visit the post), but where it came to was that I couldn’t be myself and have (let alone express) my own independent thoughts. The message I saw was: “conform or die.” And so I left.

On to the next post.

Reflections on my 2020, part 1: slipping out the back door

As I embark on this new post series, I should mention that I’ve written these either during the week of Thanksgiving, or Christmas. I’ve been so busy with both work AND school that I don’t typically have the time to write. One of the reasons I stepped back from blogging is the lack of time, due to the time commitment it takes to write out a post and then post it.

I began 2020 desperately wanting wholesale change in my life. At the time, I was primarily thinking career and maybe location. Music as a career was no longer cutting it. I was tired of living perpetually a month away from being on the street. (Yes, things had gotten that bad!) I was also tired of certain people in my life that I didn’t feel like I could shake.

At the beginning of 2020 I was also dreaming about traveling. In one of the journals I keep, periodically the name of a place came to mind, and I wrote it down. At one point, Dallas, Texas, came up, as a place that was booming, had jobs, and had places to live. At another, California (the whole state) came up. That one confused me. At the time, I reasoned that it was more for traveling than for residing, and I even had a few different friends, unprompted, invite me to visit them out there.

I finally identified my current employer in March as a place I wanted to apply to. A friend of mine who worked in a hospital was able to pull some strings and get me an interview (and a job offer!) there as well. I preferred the place that became my place of employment. My vision was coming in to focus. At the end of March I would transition. I would tell my primary employer-at-the-time that I was moving on, and April (or whenever) would be when I began the new chapter. The idea was also that I would have a couple weeks off so I could go travel. Because, as far as I was concerned, I was overdue. I had even researched Amtrak rides to San Francisco and Los Angeles and back.

And that’s actually more or less what would happen. The time off, at least. But not quite in the way I envisioned.

You don’t plan for a pandemic. I do have some friends who call the coronavirus a “plan-demic.” And maybe it is. As far as I’m concerned, it’s irrelevant which it is. Bottom line is, it’s still here and it’s not going away just yet. And so while you just don’t plan for a pandemic, I have had to plan for it nonetheless, even though back in February and early March it wasn’t in my plans.

And so, this pandemic gave me a one-month vacation, basically the month of April. I did a staycation, out of multiple levels of necessity. Train-tripping it out to California was out of the question. But then the new job began, and I felt like my personal quarantine was over. I got hired for an “essential position.”

My job has blessed me abundantly. I’m largely out of debt (I’m out of all my debts to money-loaning corporations, anyway). I’ve been saving up like crazy for a few months now. Gotta keep going, though. I’ve personally experienced having large sums of my money disappear before, both from my own reckless spending and due to circumstances outside my control. Even though I likely now have more money at my disposal than ever, I also know it can be gone in a flash.

The other blessing of 2020 was something I didn’t go into planning for, which is a relationship with a wonderful special someone that I’m hoping and dreaming and (almost) planning to spend the rest of my life with. The “almost” is due to not quite having enough funds to pull it off now. But it’s been an amazing ride, something that both she and I periodically remind each other.

It’s funny also to look at 2020 through the eyes of the world around us. Short answer: “it’s all bad. One bad thing after another bad thing. Pandemic, quarantine, injustice, rioting, protesting, more pandemic…” (heh, funny how the pandemic appeared to “take a break” in late-May and early-June when all the protesting and rioting was taking place… hmmm…) “…more injustice, more pandemic, more quarantine, more protesting and rioting… oh look, the pandemic’s second wave is hitting us, we gotta quarantine harder than we did before…” and so on.

I should make clear in this moment my intent is not to mock the year or the common sentiments. I get it: for a lot of people it has been a very hard and very rough year. And for that, I’m sorry; I wouldn’t wish the year you had on anyone. And, the Bible makes it clear that mocking others is not ok. That’s not my plan. It’s just to point out that, for a lot of people, 2020 is and will forever be considered “a bad year.”

As for me? I’ve been blessed, doubly, triply, five-fold blessed, maybe even ten-fold blessed. I got a new car, I got a new job, I got a new girlfriend, I got out of debt, my dad and I have been able to move beyond “one month away from being out on the street,” I’m back in school, and I’ve been fortunate for the first real time in my life to build up some serious savings. And there are more blessings I know of on the way that I wish not speak of as of yet. Personally, I would say 2020 has been a very good year. Even with all the tension and stress and anxiety and anger around me.

2020 also led me to be able to slip out of my old life and into a new one, in ways that I don’t think would have been as easy or possible without a pandemic occurring. Chiefly, a pandemic kills the ability for doing gigs, which was what I had wanted a year ago to shift my career more towards. Even though I know instrumental lessons can be done over Zoom, I was done with piano lessons after some experiences I had the previous year. And, as much as I valued the Vineyard for what it had given me when I was completely down on life 11 years ago, there were a few points along the way that began signaling me that it would soon be time to leave. And I think, for me to slip out one space and into another, I needed this year for all of what it was.

A prayer FOR this time; a prayer IN this time

Periodically my special someone and I send emails to each other (like, when we're not each so utterly busy), which include Bible verses and accompanying prayers. As I was writing this out for her tonight, I felt like this also may need to be shared elsewhere. I'm taking a break from Facebook again due to school, and while I'm a little less busy tonight than, say, last week, I don't have the time to go through who to send this to to encourage them, to remind them to stay in the faith. So on the blog it goes. For now.

(Hey, sometimes it really IS handy having a writing space where I can just dump stuff! Just so long as it's quality and I'm not just turning it into a personal public open self-therapy session!)

So, to the Book of Micah, a book I'm not super familiar with, except for the verse I'm about to share below. Toward the end of my time at the Vineyard, I started seeing the pastor and other church members either post this verse, say this verse, or display this verse in a video they shared.

Micah 6:8 ; New International Version

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Father God, we thank You for Your word and what You require of us. We ask You to show us how to act justly, what loving mercy looks like, and what walking humbly with You, in all our ways, looks like. Deepen our desires to know Your heart and then to walk according to Your will, which comes from Your heart for us and for all creation. We thank You that You give us second chances, third chances, fourth chances, and so on. We thank You that You never let go, that You don't give up on us. Amen!

The second passage is really what stood out to me more. While the previous verse popped up on Biblegateway.com's verse of the day, that led me to read through all of chapters 6 and 7 from the Book of Micah, and I couldn't help but see parallels between Israel at the time this text was being written, and the US today. We might very well be rapidly approaching the End Times, or... or maybe there's still time yet but we are about to undergo a massive worldwide shift of some sort. In either light, the next passage really speaks to me.

Micah 7:14-15,18-20 ; New International Version

Prayer and Praise

Shepherd your people with your staff, the flock of your inheritance, which lives by itself in a forest, in fertile pasturelands. Let them feed in Bashan and Gilead as in days long ago. “As in the days when you came out of Egypt, I will show them my wonders.”

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. You will be faithful to Jacob, and show love to Abraham, as you pledged on oath to our ancestors in days long ago.

Father God, we know You know all the things going on in our nation and in our world. We do not presume to think that You're not paying attention to it. If there have been any times in our pasts where we ever thought that, please forgive us. We choose to trust You, and wherever we lack trust, we seek to grow in our trusting of You. We choose to believe that You pardon sin and forgive the transgression of the remnant of Your inheritance. We delight that You delight to show mercy. We are grateful that you will again have compassion on us and will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. We pray that in this time You will remember those of us who are choosing to remain faithful to You, especially in a world where so many have turned away from You. We thank You that You never give up on us when we fail. We ask that You continue to be with us when things get hard. We need You. We thank You for Your love, Father. Amen.