Reflections on my 2020, part 2: becoming Republican

Of all the changes that I have and will list that have occurred in my life in 2020, this was probably the most significant, even with so many significant changes that have occurred. The simple and short version is that this has been a paradigm shift that has had a ripple effect on how I've looked at so many other things. And as you'll see in this post -- this particular change did not come easily. But it did come willingly, especially once I saw where God was in relation to this.

Early on in my relationship, my love told me that one of her deal breakers was that the man she would date and marry had to be(come) a down-the-line Republican. At the time, that felt like the gauntlet was being thrown. But I’ve come to enjoy it. For one thing, politics has become something for me that it has never really been: fun.

It wasn’t at first. I remember one of our phone calls in March my love went off on a political tangent (I forget about what) that had me breathing really fast and loud, not realizing it until she pointed it out and asked if I was ok. I admitted that there were some things that I was hearing that were really hard, and explained that my worldview involved thinking outside the box, with the results of my perspective including some conservative views, some liberal views, and some moderate views. I think I remember asking if that would be a problem. I think her response (either to that theoretical question I think I asked, or sometime later) was that while there were some issues that mattered to her more than others, there were others where she could agree to disagree.

The biggest thing at the time for me in my heart was: “Trump is going to be a very hard sell.” My primary objections at the time about him both personally and as president were 1.) he’s not a real Republican; how can even conservatives support him? 2.) he doesn’t care about other people, only himself. 3.) unlike Jesus, he doesn’t care about immigrants. 4.) at one point, he even mocked Jesus publicly.

Well, I voted for him anyway in November. And it wasn’t anything to where my love had to twist my arm. Rather, it came out of a lengthy series of conversations (and sometimes arguments) that I had with God over the course of a number of months. At one point, when another person in my love and my circles outright stated to me: “God is political,” I ranted to Him over that one, about as angry as I have ever been about anything in my life. His response was to send my way a number of YouTube videos reminding me that hell was real. He threw down the gauntlet. And I shut up. And on Election Night, my love and I spent part of the evening together doing something I have never done in my life, whether it was when I identified as liberal, moderate, or disillusioned sit-on-the-sidelines-down-the-line-third-party voter: I actually stayed up to track the election results as they unfolded. And then checked in periodically at work the next day. And then the following evening over Zoom with my love. And then again at work the following day. And so on.

[I want to add a side note. It’s not often that I share very real interactions between God and me. I’m aware of my audience, which includes people across the entire political spectrum, as well as faith spectrum. Yes, hell is real, but my wish is to remind all that that’s not the thing that God is about. He wants everyone in heaven with Him. But, those who want to get into heaven have to believe. We have to believe not only that He is real, but that sin is real, and that it gets in the way of us having a relationship with Him, which is absolutely necessary for entry into heaven. Fact of the matter is, because God created the universe, He gets to make up all the rules. And I mean, all of them. Homosexuality — specifically defined as acts of sex between two (or more) members of the same sex — is a sin and angers God. Pretending that there is no God and therefore no morals won’t change that fact. It also won’t change the fact that, once you die, you will meet him and receive your judgment. And from what I hear, it is swift. He doesn’t beat around the bush. And if you haven’t received Jesus as Lord of your heart and your life, you’ll be in hell before you have a chance to defend yourself before God.

That said — the good news is that, there is still time. How much time, I cannot say. I wish to press this with urgency that saying “yes” to Jesus, “yes” even despite your sin and brokenness and pain, that’s what makes the difference. Yes, it may seem stupidly ridiculously simple. But with all the lies that the world has been circulating, seemingly more than ever, and seemingly more convincing than ever, as well as all the events that have happened in this world in 2020, I'm getting the impression that time is short. After all, the world can't go on in this turmoil forever, can it? And would a good God let it go on forever? The answer is no. Ultimately, the answer is no. And while it can be considered a good thing that all the things that are bad will someday come to an end, with a God who is in charge of the universe, that end will not be good for most. And no, it will not be in the form of a worldwide vaccine. For those who don't believe, this will likely sound insulting, but at this point, I don't care: the answer is simply saying "yes" to following Jesus and what's written in the Bible, and it also means saying "no" to everything else that He wants you to remove from your life. And when He says "everything else," He literally means "everything else."]

Basically with Trump, it became clear that he was indeed doing all he can to protect the church, especially once the coronavirus hit the United States. I started finding it strange that people who were very much pro-“protection against the virus” singled out churches as virus-spreading events, while liquor stores weren’t considered such a problem. Trump rightly called B.S. on that, among many other things. And while I was definitely a skeptic to begin with, I started seeing more and more of what he was doing that was right.

The main domino that fell was when it dawned on me — again, completely independent of what my love was saying to me about her deal breakers — that there was a very tangible spiritual darkness that surrounded the liberal political agenda. I had been kind of aware already (for some time, really) about what I considered a “humanist” agenda that seemed specifically aimed at Christianity. Things like: “The Bible wasn’t really written by God; it was written by humans and therefore prone to error.” Just that alone, and you have a slippery slope that can land you at: “because the Bible isn’t true, there’s no God, therefore not only can we do what we want, but if you even so much as disagree with us, you’re against us and you’re the enemy.” When I was working at my previous job, I started getting that sense from some individuals I worked with who expressed the first view about the Bible, that they were also liable to think the second, more hostile view. But I had simply chalked that up to humanism, an anti-God sentiment that purports that we human beings, we are gods and therefore our truths — collectively — is Truth.

It wasn’t until I saw how humanism wasn’t just an “ism” or a grassroots agenda, but that it also had a political component, did the pieces begin to fit together. As a Christian, the humanist agenda to me is an agenda by the devil. Because Satan hates God, of course he will find ways to deceive us so that we worship anything else but God. Worshiping ourselves as gods (aka the “humanist agenda”) accomplishes just that. And so it follows that the roots of the pro-choice agenda, the gay rights agenda, and now this latest element of gender “fluidity” (aka confusion) would lead to self-worship. All of this self-examination (cleverly disguised) leads to really an obsession of self. And if we obsess over ourselves, we end up worshiping ourselves as if we ourselves were God.

Thing is, this is the platform of the modern Democratic Party. Sure, there’s environmentalism, and big government, and big taxes. But, I’ve lived in Chicago most of my life, and I learned from an early age about the Democratic Machine. They (and the state of Illinois, for that matter) have taxed big, for generations now. And where has most of that money gone? Into their pockets. The more power one has, the more that that one is corrupted. And while the Republican Party has been far from perfect (they too, since the W. Bush days, have been big-government, for reasons which I don’t understand), at least under Trump have appeared to get back toward the things that matter to God the most: supporting Israel, supporting Christian churches across the United States, and moving toward supporting the unborn. While I still disagree with the notion that God is on the side of the Republicans, I do agree that if the Republican Party gets on God’s side and does His will, He will absolutely bless them and support them. And, over the last four years, I now see that that has been the case. 

As for the four bullet points regarding my reservations about Trump at the beginning of the year, here are my answers now to each of them: 1.) he may have not been a "real Republican" prior to becoming president, but looking at his acts and actions as president (see previous paragraph), he has shown otherwise; 2.) I think this is hard to measure. He likely still has a big ego, but then again, a lot of his acts and actions as president (see previous paragraph) have shown that he can care about others and not only so but put himself on the line for others; 3.) I've wrestled with the disparity between the US's stance on immigration compared with the Bible's stance. It seems to me that the two don't agree. My answer regarding the US and specifically Trump on this topic right now is akin to my answer regarding some of the things Apostle Paul has written in some of his letters that I struggle with: they're both human, and so long as they demonstrate the amount and kind of obedience that pleases God, He gives them some grace regarding some of the other stuff; 4.) I'll admit that wasn't his best moment. Why I could see some overlooking it is that appearances, while they matter, aren't everything. For example, one of the main positive things on his ledger is that he's brokered a number of peace deals between Israel and several of their neighbors (also see here and here). What that tells me is that he realizes the importance -- Biblically -- of being on Israel's side.

Genesis 12:1-3 (NIV) puts it this way:

The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

In the end, God will deal with him how He sees fit when the time comes. My guess is He will likely be much more merciful, certainly more merciful than many of his critics wish Him to be. We all make mistakes, but if Trump truly repents even of that moment, then God is more than willing to restore him. Just like with any of us. Point is, actions are much more consequent than appearances. And his actions as president has shown his obedience to God. And I see that.

Bottom line, the transformation regarding my paradigm shift has been all between God and me. My sweetie hasn’t even had to work too hard to sway me. And as I share in future posts, it'll be more evident some of the ripple effects of this shift.

In my next post, I will share about leaving the Vineyard, because it dovetails off this post. But I will say here that a key last-straw component was the uproar that I witnessed among (now former) church members after the murder of George Floyd in late May. I posted about it back in June (you can click here to visit the post), but where it came to was that I couldn’t be myself and have (let alone express) my own independent thoughts. The message I saw was: “conform or die.” And so I left.

On to the next post.