I've been sick with a cold the last few days. Am I "really" sick? Not particularly... after all, I am well enough be out of bed and writing this blog entry! But it's allowed a time of reflection and checkpoint, on quite a number of things, although I've only gone through some of them thus far.
Since the calendar flipped over to 2021, my mission has been to share my notes from my church's sermons. I began taking notes since they re-opened to in-person a while back, but I didn't start putting them in my blog until later, I've had entries with sermon outlines twice a week for some time. I'm now reaching the end of catching up on all sermons at my church, so in a sense, that part of the mission is done.
My mission was to get the truth about God, Jesus, and the Bible out considering things I began really seeing in our nation (and to a lesser extent, the world) in the last year. How things have changed just since March of last year, and specifically how much the people I used to know changed, has left me rather in disbelief still. Sure, I too have changed. But I still stand that I believe that the ways I have changed were to try to become more Godly and less worldly. And not just talking or thinking about it, but also in the doing. I used to be much more lackadaisical about swearing and drinking, but now I would say I've abstained about 95% more than I used to. I'm a lot more judicious in spending money, even when tempted. I used to get fast food from places like Chipotle, Panera, and Naf Naf multiple times a week, every week. Now, I think I've been to Chipotle like twice since March of last year, and I haven't been to Panera or Naf Naf even once. And while I still struggle to get into and spend time in the Word (like always), I'm learning new things in the Bible that I hadn't even come across before. Like faith and how important it is. [And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6, NIV] One of the things I prayed for was for more spiritual formation. I'm getting it. I'm grateful for it.
So to then see the people I used to spend time around a lot, to have my eyes opened to how much it appears to me that they have been misled, is heartbreaking. While a lot of things do matter in this world, what I see getting pushed to the back corner is that the Bible is the Word of God. Hence my oversaturation of posts talking directly about His Word. Because it's too important for people not to know. It's too important for people not to know about Jesus' saving grace, specifically because without it, a person is on track for an eternity in hell.
When I posted on Facebook about Jesus vs. hell back in January and February, I got pushback from a couple members of my former church, basically saying "that's not what the Bible says!" I couldn't believe it. I had posted this verse: [“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. Matthew 7:13-14, NIV] ...and in response that's what was thrown back at me. But the text absolutely says that unless one goes through the narrow gate, that person ends up in hell! By the way, these same people claimed to be all about "loving Jesus" (you know, the guy who said the above verse)!
Hence my motivation. I also went back to 2019 when I first resumed blogging, and, except for a six-month break last year, I've been writing since. But in 2019 it was interesting to see what my goals were. I'd basically spent a number of years wanting to return, but waiting for what I felt was a green light from God before doing so. I knew what I didn't want to do, which was to just use this blog to talk about myself too much. I jotted a few things I decided I would do here, and by and large I think I've followed it (July 2019's mini-sports kick aside). A few months in, my then-girlfriend suggested I use the blog to post about my faith, first by doing it as a discipline for Lent that year, and then a few months later when my former church went on a month-long season of fasting as we welcomed our new (then-potential) senior pastor. For the next year, I used it as a combination of faith reflections, as well as a few topical series that spoke to me, that I could also tie to faith.
Then last year hit. Not just COVID, but all the uproar after George Floyd's murder, particularly among many members at my church at the time, made me rethink a lot of things. And I mean, a lot of things.
In a couple weeks I'm going to begin my summer classes. Yes, two. But my love is in both classes with me, and one of them only lasts four weeks. So it feels doable. My thought too was, once I caught up on all the sermons, I would take a break, and it seemed to coincide perfectly with the start of my summer classes. But then I heard my pastor talk about the following dichotomy in a recent sermon:
Satan wants to tell you: "give up, give up, give up."
But God is saying: "get up, get up, get up."
So onward I press with this blog, continuing to post sermon notes from my church, even if it's now going to be only once a week instead of twice. I do it because people need to know about the life-changing power of God's mercy and truth. Even though that's actually my previous church's (previous) slogan, I feel my current church does a better job of doing it these days.
As for growth edges and life goals:
1.) Begin to transition to my new career.
2.) Prepare for marriage. (I haven't proposed yet, but it's basically something my love and I talk about openly and regularly. It's basically a matter of when, and that when is based upon finances.)
3.) Pursuing sobriety.
4.) Pursuing and practicing self-control.
5.) Growing in faith. (If you haven't been reading some of the more recent posts, my church has been doing a now six-week sermon series directly on faith. But even before that, the importance of practicing walking in faith with Jesus has been sprinkled in just about every sermon.)
6.) Using this blog in the next season to accomplish and show forth these fruits.