What with a week full of midterms, and preparations for spring break next week, I haven't been on much, speaking my mind like I did last week. But I've finally found daylight for the most part. I finished my Music Theory and Viking/Scandinavian History exams, and now have a much lighter load in comparison.
Back on Tuesday during Viking Chorus rehearsal, we started going through part of the program for our tour to the Chicago area (i.e. home), and that day we went through many pieces we hadn't touched since before Christmas Fest. When we went through each one, I was amazed how much we had progressed in our singing, as individuals and as a group. I started thinking about not simply our evolution in choir, but also in the school year. I started thinking about all events that have occurred since coming here, people I've met, made friends with, thought about, groups I've joined, classes I've taken, and I've realized for the first time I've come pretty far in 6 and a half short months. I've taken my classes and lessons, joined lab choirs as well as regular choirs, written pieces (and recorded one of them), done group projects, rearranged my room a grand total of 3 times, witnessed my peers and myself get addicted to FaceBook, where I finally talked to several people from middle and high school that I haven't talked to for anytime ranging from 9 months to 5 years. I've gone on errands, concerts, retreats, and haircuts. I've taken planes, long car trips, Timberwolves games, Thanksgiving dinners, and gone bowling. I've followed the rise of the Bulls, the fall of the Cubs, the inaction of the Blackhawks (not that I care), the Super Bowl, the basketball All-Star Game, and the baseball off-season that featured the Cubs paying Sammy Sosa not to play with them, and not getting any big-name free agent to play with them this year. I've even been on top of major non-sports news, particularly tragedies that have hit both here at St. Olaf and back at home. I've gone through these 6 months full speed and not looked back until this week at Viking Choir rehearsal. This is the first time I've finally looked back and said, wow.
It's kind of interesting when I compare this year with past years, particularly my junior and senior years in high school. Throughout my childhood, and through those last years, I thought my church at home (and the people that came with it) was my world, and that everything outside of it was secondary, simply accessories to my life. As much as I appreciated my schools in Evanston, New York, and Winnetka, I never fully embraced the people there as I did at my church. Since then, I have had to shift my focus, combining St. Olaf as a school, a church, and a hangout all in one, very similar to how I saw my church; yet having to forsake everything I had at home. This is not to say I don't like anyone at home; my parents mean everything to me, spiritually, musically, affably, and even monetarily (those college costs aren't cheap!), and I have a couple real good friends at home that I've known for a long time. But at the same time, I'm starting ponder whether I may actually move to Minnesota (or elsewhere) once I'm officially supporting myself. Who knows? I've officially just decided to let God steer the ship, and let him lead me to places, people, jobs, and other life necessities. I feel it's simply better to trust him than try and force the hand, which I've done so many times and failed. There is hope, but I refuse to try take control of it again.