I have to confess, I'm not very good with discipline. Not in any area, really. I tend to be a type, where, once I have established a habit or line of thinking that seems comforting, it takes a lot of work to overturn it, once I discover that that's what needs to be done. For example, I've talked about my resistance to reading the Bible every day. The battle is that I would much rather read sports articles on ESPN (at minimum a 14-year habit, if not longer), or watch videos on end on YouTube (a more recent habit), than close my computer and actually read a book, much less one that I've read many times.
And yet, I remember after a long, full day yesterday, lying in bed awaiting a phone call from one of my inner-circle brothers (and eventually moving down to my computer to Skype with my girlfriend) and really feeling peace. Like, a level of peace I haven't felt in about 5 years. All because of two things: 1.) I set aside a lot of time Tuesday and Wednesday to pray, fast, and to spend time in Scripture. 2.) Wednesday I was struggling with anxiety over a couple different things, and declared, "Jesus, I receive all the love You have sent me," and immediately that broke the pattern around the anxiety. Spending time with Jesus and His word, and in prayer, made all the difference.
Brief side story: I've had deep-seated anxiety my whole life. (I'm not taking medication for it; nor do I ever plan to.) Then, once I started the healing journey, and even for a short while had someone step into my life as a sort of "parent role," I started feeling an incredible, incredible level of not only peace but that, for the first time in my life, everything was absolutely OK in the world around me. I'd never had a feeling like that before that time. After about a couple years, the anxiety started creeping back in and has been around ever since. The point is, there is something about declaring: "Jesus, I receive all the love that You have sent me," and then sitting back for a moment and (surprise!) experiencing it actually happen to me. I felt the same exact level of peace I did 5 years ago.
The bottom line is, there is a very real reason why everyone should read at least a little bit from the Bible every day (non-Christians, this goes for you, too -- I'm going to sell this as an alternate homeopathic anxiety remedy): God does show up, and brings you His peace, no matter what's going on around you.
I'm going to close today's post with a devotional from Joseph Prince ministries my girlfriend forwarded me this morning. (I needed it!)
A church member who had been a chain-smoker used to believe that with willpower, he could quit smoking. He would tell himself, “If there is a will, there is a way!” But he discovered that with willpower, he could stop smoking for a week or two, and then he would succumb to the pull of nicotine again.
When he turned his life over to God and learnt about God’s grace, he told God, “I realize that I cannot stop smoking. I cannot, but You can break my habit, Lord.” And every time he lit up, he would say, “Lord, I am trying to stop smoking, but I cannot. I am trusting You.” He would even say, “I am still righteous because of Jesus’ blood.”
Well, in the very same year, all his cravings to smoke vanished! When asked how he succeeded, he would say, “It is entirely God and none of me! It is all by His grace.” This man lost all the desire to smoke. That is true transformation.Amen! Day 5 tomorrow!