Ramble on how and why I root for the Cubs

[Author's note: this post originated from my "other" blog, "From Under The Shadows," which focused on all things sports and especially Chicago sports.]

In 1997 I watched the news one day, and at the end of hour they were showing highlights of a Cubs game in which Sammy Sosa hit a home run so far that it broke a window across the street. "Sammy who?" I remember thinking. I was impressed by the home run, though.

I'd been to Cubs games before that. I remember at the end of summer school after fourth grade my dad, a family friend, and I went to Wrigley Field to catch a game. If I remember right, they were playing the San Diego Padres. I'm assuming they lost the game, because somehow I'd begun to understood that they rarely fielded good teams. Kind of like the Montreal Expos, except, you know, they'd been around for much longer than that. But that's the earliest one I remember. I'm betting I'd been to at least a couple before that, but for whatever reason I have no recollection.

I grew up as a second-generation Chicagoan, which showed in whatever teams my folks rooted for. My mom grew up in Minnesota, but she was never that much into sports. She'd casually follow the Twins and the Vikings (mostly knowing if they'd won the World Series or the Super Bowl, respectively), but not much beyond that. If I recall correctly, she casually followed the Cubs and Bulls (the latter I can understand; they were that good in the nineties). My dad's a different story. He grew up in Cardinals Country early, moved around the southern Plains, before ending up in Astros Territory for the latter half of childhood. When he'd gotten to the Chicago area, he found himself cheering the White Sox, an effect on me that allowed me the rare designation in the Windy City of being a fan of both baseball teams.

As I'd explained in the previous paragraph, as well as previous posts, the Bulls were my first love. It was easy; they won all the time, and they had the best basketball player on the planet. But something had to give once that player retired and the team plummeted into oblivion. News flash: it's much harder staying loyal to a team that's the worst in the league, as opposed to the best. I was going to have to look at other teams around the city to cheer me up. The Blackhawks were the laughingstock of the National Hockey League, I didn't really like football (so the Bears were out), and the White Sox played on "the other side of town." That left the Cubs, a team perennially snake-bitten (rumors are that said snake-biting was self-inflicted) by bad management, bad development, and a popular superstition that something bad happened to the team a long time ago with nothing they can do to stop it.

Being a Cubs fan is a risk. You risk heartache and depression every time you think your team has a chance at being the best, like the Bulls were. Theoretically they're supposed to be bad every year, and on the off-chance that they have a good season, something terrible has to go wrong. And quite frankly, that assessment isn't technically wrong: I can rattle off all the years since 1945 that have Cub fans running to their beer: 1969, 1984, 1989, 2003, 2008 (there are a couple others in there, but quite honestly those teams didn't have a shot at winning the whole thing anyway). But, for all the times I hear in September or October of those fans swearing off the team ("this year took the cake! I am NEVER rooting for them again!") they're all crawling back in January, just in time for the annual convention. By March, they're already thinking "this is the year!" Why? Because of hope. That's why being a Cubs fan is a risk; every year fans hope that this is the year, in spite of the demons of fear that lurk underneath that layer of hope.

A couple years ago, upon the centennial of their last World Series title, I was extremely depressed at how their season ended (not unlike most people who root(ed) for this team). In this process I'd started thinking about why people voluntarily go through sport-related heartbreak. After all, if we were able to realize this, we could choose to root for another team and be free from it. But no, we come back like lemmings every new year, only to be cast off the cliff again. I came to the conclusion that being a Cubs fan kept me humble. After all, when I follow the Cubs, I really follow them. When I care about them, I really care about them. There's no half-assed middle ground. As a result, I give myself to the hype of the team, something that can prove to be quite dangerous.

[Normally I'd lapse into some faith/religious/spiritual tangent here to further prove my point, but this isn't the space for that, at least not right now.]

I realized that being a Cubs fan made me humble because each eventual end-of-season failure reminded me that being a sports fan is an emotionally dangerous thing. And following this particular team, as opposed to the Bulls, St. Louis Cardinals, Detroit Red Wings, Minnesota Twins, or almost any other team, offers the best reminder of that. To be sane, one must hold said team of rooting interest at arm's length. Unless I want to make baseball my career and work for the Cubs, it's better to look at this as a form of entertainment, amusement, excitement.

I'm willing to be a bit more patient with them for now. For one, they have new owners, and specifically, owners who are committed to changing the culture of the franchise as opposed to merely making money. They're in it for the long haul, and not to put all their chips in for 2010. A second reason is that the team already passed the centennial for their championship drought. A lot of the angst for winning last decade was to accomplish said goal before hitting 100 years. That ended up not happening. At this point, what's the rush? Focus on growing the team as best as one can, and then try to win with that. It's how the champions do it, anyway. Thanks to the Ricketts family, perhaps the Cubs can try common sense for once. They haven't had it for, oh, about 65 years now.

Talkin' rosy

 [Author's note: this post originated from my "other" blog, "From Under The Shadows," which focused on all things sports and especially Chicago sports.]

I like that Derrick Rose ["http://espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=3456"] is taking over games.

Excitement about the Bulls' win ["http://espn.go.com/nba/recap?gameId=300122021"] aside (also, Phoenix just has been struggling of late, so I wouldn't get too excited...), it makes me happy that the team's star player is doing whatever he can to win the game. I mean, in spite of all the flaws with the coaching and the roster, we actually have a guy who could be a superstar if he decides to be one. The man scored 32 points! ["http://espn.go.com/nba/boxscore?gameId=300122021"] Right now I don't care if he shoots or scores "too much." Who else do the Bulls have that can take over a game if need be? [Ben Gordon? ["http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=2381"] Oh wait, he moved to Detroit last summer.] Ideally they'd have a 2 or a 3 for their go-to guy, but last I checked, Michael Jordan's still retired, Kobe Bryant ["http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=110"] plays for the Lakers, and LeBron James ["http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=1966"] and Dwayne Wade ["http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=1987"] haven't signed with the team. Yet. And chances are, none of those guys will be playing for the Bulls in the near future. So Rose might have to be it.

Other notes: I'm glad Luol Deng ["http://espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=2429"] has held up so far this season. I can't say whether he's at the level he was three years ago, but he's close. 23 points, 6 rebounds, and 3 assists on the night in 39 minutes. Not far off his average ... Joakim Noah ["http://espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=3224"] needs to cut down on his fouls; he had five in the contest ... Anyone else wondering what's going on with Brad Miller? ["http://espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=556"] Seems like he was great (OK, good) for the Bulls last year, but now he's lucky to get five points and five rebounds! I suppose age is catching up to him, but I didn't really expect it to be this soon ... Speaking of Brad Miller, anyone else wondering why they got rid of him and Ron Artest ["http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=25"] back in 2002? Supposedly it was to get a scorer (like the role Derrick Rose has to fill right now), but Jalen Rose couldn't make the last shot, and less than two years later they traded him anyway. Oops.

Man, I gotta figure out how I can get good pics up here. (Besides the whole, click on the picture icon, select a picture, etc.)

Beginnings

[Author's note: this post originated from my "other" blog, "From Under The Shadows," which focused on all things sports and especially Chicago sports.]

I first started following sports during the Michael Jordan dynasty years. Ironically enough, it was right after he temporarily retired from basketball in 1993 to pursue his baseball dream that I knew who he was, and of what significance he was. I guess I'd somehow known that the Chicago Bulls were good, since they had just won a few championships, but I had no direct recollection from the first set of titles.

I still remember leaving the TV room in 1998 during the last minute of Game 6 of the NBA Finals. John Stockton had just hit a three-pointer to give the Utah Jazz their biggest lead of the night, and having been so distraught over the Bulls losing the previous game just a few days earlier, I couldn't bear to watch it again. What drew me back to the living room was the sound of my dad yelling, "Huh! Huh! Huh!" For some reason I was still thinking they'd lost, so it was surprising for me to find out that my dad's yells corresponded with Jordan's yells. And most surprisingly of all, they had done it. They'd won the game, and the championship. Oh, what could have been. After all, I only missed Jordan's most famous shot of his career.

Months later, after the following NBA season had begun, I was with my dad at a shoe store getting new sneakers when I looked up at the TV. The Bulls were playing the Atlanta Hawks, I recalled, but something was wrong. The Bulls were down by 20-some points midway through the game! This isn't normal! This isn't right! They're supposed to be up by 20-some points midway through the game!

Alas, it was the new normal. Jordan had retired for what we'd assumed would be the final time, sidekick Scottie Pippen was in Houston, and Head Coach Phil Jackson was in the midst of his one-year siesta before resuming duties with the Los Angeles Lakers. And the Bulls, once the most well-known team on the entire planet... the entire planet! ... was a bunch of absolutely nothing. (OK, they did still have Toni Kukoc...) But the point is, since 1998, people have described every ebb and flow of the franchise as stuck under MJ's shadow. In 2005 they made the playoffs, but they were still under MJ's shadow. In 2006, they signed Ben Wallace to a contract, but they were still under MJ's shadow, for the sole reason that they hadn't had an All-Star on the team. In 2008, they drafted Derrick Rose, but still the shadow was there.

Here's a popular question: when will they return to championship form? Here's another: will they ever return to championship form? Here's my question: when will Jerry Reinsdorf sell the team? Thing is, having grown up in Chicago and followed their sports teams' mostly lackadaisical histories has made me realize how much this is a city of shadows. I mean, aside from the Bulls being stuck under Jordan's shadow, the Bears have been stuck under the shadow of their famous 1985 champion "shuffle" team, the White Sox are stuck under the Cubs' shadow, and the Blackhawks have been under the shadow of former owner Bill Wirtz, who let his team dissolve into hockey's laughingstock. And then there are the Cubs.

I really shouldn't try and predict what I will muse in this space in the coming weeks and months, but I imagine it will include a mix of current events stories (sports-related, of course), suggestions for how to fix teams, and perhaps a few more anecdotes. But above all I hope there will be discussion on here, either in trading stories about how we came to love our franchises, or advice for said teams, and the like.

I still kill myself for leaving the room and missing Michael Jordan's last shot as a Bull. That's why I have a pic of it as the background on my computer's desktop(due to copyright concerns, I cannot post it here).

Vineyard

It's probably too soon to say much of significance (at least in terms of looking to the future), but yesterday I had the most spiritually uplifting day in quite some time. I went with a friend to check out the Vineyard church ["http://www.vineyardusa.org/site/about/article/core-values"] right in my own hometown (Evanston, for those of you non-Chicagoans wondering). I got to meet some nice folks, had a good prayer session with one of the designated pray-ers, and apparently leaked out news that I had musical chops of some sort. So I might be joining a choir that sings like once a month, and I might actually experience what it's like to jam with other people.

The reason I say it's too early to say too much about this place is that I've had a habit of moving around over the last five years, and that I've kind of gotten comfortable with it. I'd had a talk with one of my religious friends from college sometime a year ago about the importance of staying in one spot. Although I wasn't too inclined to follow it at that time, I'm beginning to understand the wisdom of having a community that I can see at least once a week, possibly once every few days. But as much as I'd like to think that, oh man, Vineyard is awesome! I met so many cool people and had a great time and... (some other stuff); it's only been one day, and I may find that it's not the place I want to stick with long-term. And I'm fine with either possibility.

Forgiveness, pt. 1

I've been poring over more articles about Mark McGwire's steroid confession, some of which have been reasonably supportive. The rest, well, I have a hard time understanding how some of them could still assume ["http://www.suntimes.com/sports/deluca/1985626,CST-SPT-deluca12.article"] (especially with the facts coming from the explanation) that he is still a bad person. Calling him a "coward" even when he directly and honestly explains everything there is to be explained is, to say the least, utterly dishonest. I would like to ask some of these writers -- especially since they decide who goes into baseball's Hall of Fame and who doesn't -- what their justification is for beating him while he's down. So I ask those writers who are still looking for blood: "What more do you want from the man? McGwire took steroids! I get it! Hold him accountable for everything he did during his playing career, for all I care! But you have no right to keep crucifying him for everything he's done since he retired! He's done nothing wrong after he stopped playing baseball! Get over it!"

As a "sort-of" Christian (I say "sort-of" because while I adhere to many of the doctrinal beliefs my faith is of the do-it-yourself variety) I find that forgiveness is a reasonably huge theme. As a human race, we are a bunch of angry idiots who occasionally thirst for the Truth but lack the patience and the serenity to surrender ourselves to it (myself included). During Jesus' time on earth, He offers us metaphors and explanations as far as how to live and behave in order to join His Father in heaven, so to speak. One of the biggest things He tells us is to forgive others, no matter what.

In Matthew 18 ["http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18&version=NIV"], Peter asks Him the following question: "Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" (Matt. 18: 21)

Jesus replies: "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." (Matt. 18:22)

Clearly Jesus doesn't mean literally (or only) seventy-seven times; it's a metaphor meaning we should always forgive, no matter how taxing it appears to be. He goes on to describe a parable to show how we must treat each other: (Matt. 18:23-25)

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. "Be patient with me," he begged, "and I will pay back everything." The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. "Pay back what you owe me!" he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, "Be patient with me, and I will pay you back." But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could repay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. The master called the servant in. "You wicked servant," he said, "I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.

Life is too short to be petty about things. Erik, my friend and roommate from last year, once devised an excellent plan for taking care of the bill when we go out to eat: take turns. I support it: this practice eliminates stupid haggling over how much one "owes" the other, since both parties would understand that it's never going to be perfect either way. It's how I've learned to split meal bills with other friends. I mean, with some we have decided to cover only ourselves, but even though it isn't a perfect division of expenses, it works out well enough.

In addition, this practice has also taught us to be trusting and forgiving of each other when we do inevitably slip up. Granted, my roommateship from last year hasn't been perfect (the two of us have somewhat different lifestyles), but because we were open to each other and had reasonably open dialogue, I like to think we coexisted well. With a few other peops that I've roomed with in the past, however, forgiveness has been a challenge. My sophomore-year roommate had a bunch of little habits that annoyed me, and as a result of the two of us not really being able to communicate with each other, we tended to just let things lie. My roommate from the following summer and I had quite different stances on various things in life, and how he liked to treat me rubbed me the wrong way. Ironically, it was during this set of trials that I was finally able to forgive my previous roommate. For the summer roommate, it's taken quite a bit longer. I did finally forgive him specifically for the events that transpired that summer about a year later. However, other things that he did later robbed my trust of him, which is why I decided toward the end of my time at St. Olaf to remove all contact with him (part of the "if your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out, for it is better to go into heaven with one eye rather than to hell with two eyes" idea).

There are other people with whom it's taken quite some time for me to forgive, more or less for reasons similar to those I have described in the aforementioned situations. But the one person that I still have trouble forgiving is myself, and the reasons for said issues never seem to stop coming up. One day, it's related to a social situation; another day, it's related to my lack of activity in figuring out my life; and yet another day, it's probably something that happened six year ago (randomly). During this time of Transitus -- as I've taken a shine to calling the last five months -- I've attempted to learn more about myself, and somehow I feel like I am close to putting it together... somewhat. Thing is, I've been constantly learning since I finished college (probably because all that schooling prevented me from having enough time to figure out anything of significance), and even for all that effort it's been a much slower process than I would have liked.

I'm going to stop the post here. I've continued on long enough, and any further will take me off the theme of forgiveness, which is all I really wanted to talk about today. Given the ideas expressed in the last paragraph, I know that more details will be forthcoming someday (carefully crafted for such a public audience, of course), but right now I don't have enough research done to write yet another essay. Till then, to forgive is divine ["http://www.dailywisdom.com/archives/2003/12/31/index.html"]. That goes especially for baseball writers.

The sun rose out of the west one evening

Many years back I dreamed that the sun rose out of the west one evening, shortly after setting. I remember being really freaked out because this wasn't supposed to happen. I woke up shortly thereafter, more weirded out than scared, but it did make me wonder: could this ever be possible? In my childlike logic, I said no, because the sun always rises in the east and sets in the west, everywhere on the planet (more or less). A couple months ago I blogged ["http://amidthenoiseandhaste2.blogspot.com/2009/11/parallel-and-warning.html"] about seeing 2012 ["http://www.whowillsurvive2012.com/"], where I described yet another dream but had this one in mind. My dream could play out like so, if the poles ever move in a significant fashion at the right time.

Continuing off from yesterday's post, I am growing less and less convinced that humankind will ever make itself right. Political spats seem to grow continually worse, and religious clashes seem to become more prevalent, if not more heated. Case in point: in light of Tiger Woods' life falling apart over the last month-plus, a few folks have begun attacking his religion, citing that he needs to be "saved." [type in "tiger woods buddhism" on google] While I don't disagree with the barebones of what they're saying (believing in Christ, and devoting one's whole being to living in said belief is a wonderful, life-saving thing), I have huge issues with their arrogant "this-is-the-only-way" attitudes. This specific portrayal smacks of Buddhism, or any other non-Christian religion for that matter, being the equivalent of devil-worshipping: it's black-and-white. I hate that, and I can't see Jesus Himself supporting that kind of mindset. He'd chastise those arrogant Christians, just like He did to the Pharisees. If anything, anything is black-and-white, it's that.

I'm still curious to see what happens at the end of 2012. Maybe nothing will happen, maybe everything will happen; or maybe some things will and some things won't. But I am fearful as to what could end up being the demise of this great nation -- and yes, I am aware I lapsed into its official name "The United States": that's the name I was taught in school, but I am very skeptical as to the "united" part -- given what I've seen of human nature and how we all treat each other. If the western coast of North America doesn't fall into the ocean as "doomsday" sayers predict, I may look at moving to Vancouver in early 2013.