525,600 minutes,
525,000 moments so dear,
525,600 minutes,
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee,
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife;
525,600 minutes,
How do you measure a year in the life?
How about love,
How about love,
How about love,
Measure in love,
Seasons of love.
--"Seasons of Love," Rent
As we enter the the number 2 "season of love" (Valentine's Day would be no. 1), it's time to bask in the glow of family and friends, and share the love via gifts and togetherness that the season of Christmas calls people to do. It's been an interesting past few months internally debating such a topic, trying to figure out the truth about it, and what it means. There's the lover-lover, parent-child, friend-friend, person-pet, and so many different sorts of it, and for me trying to figure how it all fits into my life has been no easy task. For many years I've been grappling with the issue (although many of them during adolescence and teen years), wondering why I wasn't giving as much of these different forms of love to other people I care about (namely family and friends), and figuratively killing myself over every missed chance. I talked with a couple friends to give me some pointers, A.) about how they have dealt with it, and B.) to look at it from a larger perspective. At times I recall I would forget about giving for the sake of giving rather than expecting things in return, and it would drive me crazy. But one of my friends stressed to me the spiritual angle, citing that while he didn't have the relationships that so many of his friends had, he was undoubtedly thankful that he actually had people around him. I think as I've gotten older and further away from the crazy teen-age stage, I've been able to get a better understanding of how the social circle works, particularly that it always changes over time. Thus it has helped me focus on making people happy not because they expect me to do so, but because seeing them happy would make me feel happy on the inside.
With Christmas upon us, it would be the perfect opportunity to show family friends how much we all care about each other. What with sending e-cards to people that I care about and thinking of them on this holiday; I can handle that. I have wavered at times, depending on how my psyche and/or sanity has been holding up through whatever life is throwing at me. But this love that is to be shared with others on the whole, I think it's the work of Jesus, where he had so much love for this world when he was crucified, that it hurt him to see those very same people turn against him. He wasn't interested in the selfish love where he would devote it all to one person; he wanted to share it. That's a lesson I wish more of the world would take to heart (no pun intended). It would, after all, make it a much easier place to live.