And it's Friday again

...but of course I'll be going back in tomorrow. At least it's only for a couple hours, or however long it takes to get this little project taken care of. That, and I'm making sure I sleep in a bit. I really could use the extra rest (not to mention a little extra time tonight so I'm not rushing to bed).

I've been constantly learning the past couple weeks. In addition to basic data entry and filing/sorting skills, I've learned how to measure sapphire wafers in post-lapping stage -- I work in quality control, which is the department in charge of measuring the wafers to be sure they meet specifications before sending them off to the pre-polishing and polishing departments -- and yesterday I learned how to use a Zeiss machine, which measures the roughness and warps on the flat side of wafers. In some ways, it's like I'm in high school Chemistry again.

I've also been learning about myself, specifically how I like to work, how I focus, and what my strengths and weaknesses are. To be honest, I feel like I just returned to school after a summer vacation that lasted for-EV-er, and I'm remembering how to do schoolwork again. But here's what I've learned: I'm very good at focusing on the task at hand (albeit very easily distracted at times); I like to work either until my task is done, or when my head hurts and I just need a break (the former is more likely than the latter, thankfully); I work hard and diligently to make sure everything is done right; I generally don't need too long of a break, just enough to recharge my batteries and then jump right back in the fray.

One thing though: I refuse to be a workaholic. I work hard and make sure just about every minute of my workday is very productive, but when I need a break I need a break. Working last Saturday was rather tough because I had been very much looking forward to a solid night's sleep and I didn't get it. Tonight is better because I only have to work a couple hours tomorrow, but I was still hoping to not have to wake up to an alarm clock for once.

Zooming out a bit, I've gotten to know several of the people around me a bit, and I'm rather amazed how they can constantly be working to the point that work is their life. Understandably, many of these people probably have families and therefore need to be working as much as they can so they can earn enough to support them, but the idea of living to work is a place I don't really want to live. I believe in working hard and pitching in whenever the company needs help (like last weekend, when the dep't was way behind on getting their tasks done), but I need to live, too. I've already got a life with my peeps from the Vineyard churches of Evanston and now the South Loop of Chicago, and I aim to keep it.

The commute is getting more tolerable. Maybe I'm just used to it now, but somehow it's less draining than it used to be. I guess I'm thankful for that.

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

I'm not going to lie; I hate that question. The issue for me isn't in its asking; on the one hand it's a perfectly reasonably thing to ask, especially when talking about career and life paths with young people (such as myself). At this stage in life (and beyond, I guess), it seems rather imperative to plan for these things, taking into account how one wants/needs to live. We all need to survive in life, which means we need food, shelter, clothing, other simple necessities (i.e. "bills"), which means we need to work to earn money for said necessities. Therefore, choosing where and how one works is critical for the earning of said money for said necessities. Duh, right?

I've spent the last week working at Rubicon Technology in Franklin Park, a good 16-mile (45-60 min) hike from home. It's the most I've worked since July 2009, which theoretically should make me happy. I seem to be fitting in reasonably well at the workplace, both in productivity and in relationship with those around me. Technically my assignment ends next Wednesday, when the person I'm filling in for returns from her vacation, but I'm getting the sense that they may hang on to me a bit longer than that. I know this because I'm going back to work tomorrow (on a Saturday!) because there's still plenty of work to be done. Understandable. I wasn't the happiest when I first learned of it at 4:00 this afternoon, but there are worse fates in life. At least I'm getting paid for it. (And to be honest, I would be OK spending the next five years working at Rubicon if they decide they like me enough.)

I'm still having trouble conceptualizing the rest-of-my-life idea. I have no idea if I'll even be alive in five years, let alone where I'll be. I could still be in Chicago, I could be in Houston, I could be in another part of the world; I could be the lead worship leader at a church somewhere, I could be in a band touring all over the US, I could be working at a place not too different from where I've been the last couple weeks, I could be beginning my music therapy practice; I could be saddled with a wife and kids, I could be single and wanting to be saddled with the such; I could be living with some of my best friends as roommates, I could still be living with the folks (I kinda hope not... five years is a long time to continue living with them)...

... I could go on and on. For your sanity (and mine), I won't. The point is, as I've focused on being more acutely aware of particular things in my life and things around me, for whatever reason, careers just hasn't come up just yet. I want something stable, but I don't want to be the guy who is so constantly busy with my day job that I have to come in during the weekends often or have no time for music or friends or even God. When I wrote the following back in August 2009, [I've gotten much better at [merely] keeping in touch ... but ... that's about as best as we can do. [W]e're all too [darn] busy with life to do too much more than that, and all I can ask is, how did it get to be this way? And, while I'm at it, why? When did it become a rule that life had to stop being fun? Why are we so concerned about money and keeping ourselves in the game that we stop making time for each other like we used to? ("Untitle" 8.5.2009 [“http://amidthenoiseandhaste2.blogspot.com/2009/08/untitle.html”])] I meant it. ... I meant it.

So, where do I see myself in five years? Let's see, five years from now puts me at Thursday 12 November 2015. To successfully answer this question, I have to assume the forecasted "armageddon" at the end of 2012 will be a dud. I expect to still be alive. I expect to be working somewhere. I expect to still have a relationship with God in some form or another. To be honest, that's about all I can reasonably expect. I'd like to have a career I like by then, I'd like to be with someone, I'd like to be on my own (or at least living with roommates/housemates/significant other of some sorts), and I'd like to have a community and church like I do now. But, I can't really control what will ultimately happen; sure, I'll have some influence over it with a few simple "yes" or "no" decisions... but outside of it, it's not in my hands.

* * * * * * * *

So yeah, now that I'm employed, my blogging frequency will drop once again. It's been a heck of a ride, these last 14-15 months. I've learned a lot about myself and God and life in that span. I'm grateful to finally have had some semblance of a childhood I always wanted but for some reason could never get. But since I'm (finally) employed, now is the time to put away childish things and grow up. Somehow. Maybe I already grew up and didn't notice.

T-minus 0 days

CD's done. Finally! OK, to be fair, it was "unofficially" done sometime earlier this week, but I wanted to wait until today to release. I dunno, maybe Friday's a great day to debut some new music on the internets. ...internet. I meant internet.

I know, you're expecting me to go into a bit of a monologue about the CD (titled "Fading Purple Sky") and the process and everything that's on it... and yes, this would be the space for me to do it... but I kinda already did that in the album notes (and a few of the track notes as well). So for once I'm not going to spill on the blog.

You can listen to my music at my Bandcamp site here [“http://nathanfivecoate.bandcamp.com/“]. I would personally encourage you two things: 1.) if you like it, please download! You can name your price and everything. 2.) Please please please spread the word! One of the reasons I've been very loathe to pursuing a music career is the fact that it seems half the world plays gigs, making it therefore a very cut-throat business. If you're a regular reader, you know I'm not the type that will go out and get in people's throats when it comes to marketing. Even if I were the über-aggressive type, I have so far to go, so any help you can in spreading the word will go a long way. Someday, somehow, I will think and pray as to how to truly thank you for your efforts. :-)

In that vein, I will help a brother (or two) out and spread the word about some of their awesome music, also on Bandcamp. I would also encourage you to download their stuff as well if it tickles your fancy.

1.) http://alexanderdove.bandcamp.com/ [“http://alexanderdove.bandcamp.com/“]

2.) http://theblackdoves.bandcamp.com/ [“http://theblackdoves.bandcamp.com/“] 

I'm employed again. I commuted out to Franklin Park to fill in for someone at a manufacturing plant. The gig lasts a week-and-a-half. Come two weeks from now, I will have seen the most money fall into my lap since about a year ago (God willing). It of course will dissipate quickly, as I have quite a few expenses that badly need to get taken care of. Oh well.

The night I officially became a moderate

Yesterday, as some of you may know, was midterm election day. Or, in other words, the day the pendulum would shift dramatically in the GOP's direction, much like it did the DFL's four years ago. You see in, midterm elections back in 2006, a nation so fed up with George W. Bush's politics (and it only took six years!) fell into the Democratic Party's lap. I recall I was rather excited [“http://amidthenoiseandhaste2.blogspot.com/2006/11/views-on-recent-events-election-day.html”] at the time. I don't know if it was because I was at that point a Democrat, or if I just hated Bush's guts, or what.

But, no matter. I'd done some research and prayed as to who to vote for, and among the ones that I really paid attention to, I found myself voting across party lines. And in spite of most of the individuals I voted for losing (meaning, the Democrats I voted for were defeated by their Republican opponents, and the Republicans I voted for were defeated by their Democratic opponents... boo...), I look at the national scope and found that my voting represented much of the nation. The GOP, much like the Democratic Party four years ago, expected the outrage against current president Barack Obama to turn into a similar landslide in their favor. Not so much. Both parties split the difference: the elephants grabbed the House, and the donkeys held on to the Senate. You'd think I should be reasonably happy. I suppose, except the person I voted for lost every time.

[* I should amend that. As I'm writing this, the Illinois governor's race is still too close to call, and its outcome will be determined by the results of the absentee ballots. And, there were a couple folks I voted that ended up winning. So, not a total loss.]

So why am I not encouraged? Because, even though yesterday's pendulum swing was hardly that of what took place four years ago, I don't have faith that either party as a whole really knows (or cares, depending on which one you look at) how to do what the citizens want. The Republicans, as a rule, want to feed the rich (they're already rich). The Democrats want all power and money to go through the federal government (i.e. they too are rich/they want to be rich). Given that I'm not rich, period, and that I'm neither a rich citizen nor a rich politician, I've found I don't like either party.

Thing is, what frustrates me the most is that the US has really become two nations: one of the Democrats, and one of the Republicans. If you watch TV and you've watched a decent amount of it over the last month, you probably would have watched at least a decent number of the political ads. But instead of encouraging voters to vote for someone, a culture of fear has been instilled and commercials tell voters to vote against people. I even got multiple pieces of mail from the Republican Party of Minnesota telling me why I shouldn't vote for Democrat David Bly (firstly, I don't even live in Minnesota (which they know, because they sent it to my Chicago address); secondly, I've never registered with the Republican Party; and thirdly, I've never voted for David Bly). People in power are complaining about either how money is spent or how much money is spent, and yet they think it's OK that millions of dollars are being thrown at attempt to defraud and defame other people. Depending on the party, I would either call them hypocrites or use it as a direct example of their irresponsible spending.

Yesterday I did my part to try and bring the US back together when I voted for members of both parties. When I did my research I looked at each of the candidates to see not only what they were for and against, but also their characters, and how they would treat others. [I don't vote for parties; I vote for people.] But, like I've said before, I fear it may be too late. I may not love the US (stopped loving it since I was attacked in England for being an American citizen), but I'd rather not let it die if I can help it. The day each and every member from both parties from every level of government, past, present, and future, learn how to compromise and shut up and listen to the people first, is the day the US can again be one nation. Until then, the Pledge of Allegiance is nothing but a lie.

(I'll tackle the "under God" aspect some other time.)

Oh, right, I never explained the title of today's post. To be fair, there was never really a moment where I "officially" became a moderate. But over the last year, as I've focused my understanding about things from a Christ-centered standpoint, politics have become less and less personal to me (this is not to say any less important, mind you). Given that I did actually have experiences relating to two other posts (here [“http://amidthenoiseandhaste2.blogspot.com/2005/04/night-i-officially-became-liberal.html”] and here [“http://amidthenoiseandhaste2.blogspot.com/2009/06/night-i-officially-became-conservative.html”]) in the series, I felt that it was only a matter of time before I would need to give an update.