I'm not going to lie; I hate that question. The issue for me isn't in its asking; on the one hand it's a perfectly reasonably thing to ask, especially when talking about career and life paths with young people (such as myself). At this stage in life (and beyond, I guess), it seems rather imperative to plan for these things, taking into account how one wants/needs to live. We all need to survive in life, which means we need food, shelter, clothing, other simple necessities (i.e. "bills"), which means we need to work to earn money for said necessities. Therefore, choosing where and how one works is critical for the earning of said money for said necessities. Duh, right?
I've spent the last week working at Rubicon Technology in Franklin Park, a good 16-mile (45-60 min) hike from home. It's the most I've worked since July 2009, which theoretically should make me happy. I seem to be fitting in reasonably well at the workplace, both in productivity and in relationship with those around me. Technically my assignment ends next Wednesday, when the person I'm filling in for returns from her vacation, but I'm getting the sense that they may hang on to me a bit longer than that. I know this because I'm going back to work tomorrow (on a Saturday!) because there's still plenty of work to be done. Understandable. I wasn't the happiest when I first learned of it at 4:00 this afternoon, but there are worse fates in life. At least I'm getting paid for it. (And to be honest, I would be OK spending the next five years working at Rubicon if they decide they like me enough.)
I'm still having trouble conceptualizing the rest-of-my-life idea. I have no idea if I'll even be alive in five years, let alone where I'll be. I could still be in Chicago, I could be in Houston, I could be in another part of the world; I could be the lead worship leader at a church somewhere, I could be in a band touring all over the US, I could be working at a place not too different from where I've been the last couple weeks, I could be beginning my music therapy practice; I could be saddled with a wife and kids, I could be single and wanting to be saddled with the such; I could be living with some of my best friends as roommates, I could still be living with the folks (I kinda hope not... five years is a long time to continue living with them)...
... I could go on and on. For your sanity (and mine), I won't. The point is, as I've focused on being more acutely aware of particular things in my life and things around me, for whatever reason, careers just hasn't come up just yet. I want something stable, but I don't want to be the guy who is so constantly busy with my day job that I have to come in during the weekends often or have no time for music or friends or even God. When I wrote the following back in August 2009, [I've gotten much better at [merely] keeping in touch ... but ... that's about as best as we can do. [W]e're all too [darn] busy with life to do too much more than that, and all I can ask is, how did it get to be this way? And, while I'm at it, why? When did it become a rule that life had to stop being fun? Why are we so concerned about money and keeping ourselves in the game that we stop making time for each other like we used to? ("Untitle" 8.5.2009 [“http://amidthenoiseandhaste2.blogspot.com/2009/08/untitle.html”])] I meant it. ... I meant it.
So, where do I see myself in five years? Let's see, five years from now puts me at Thursday 12 November 2015. To successfully answer this question, I have to assume the forecasted "armageddon" at the end of 2012 will be a dud. I expect to still be alive. I expect to be working somewhere. I expect to still have a relationship with God in some form or another. To be honest, that's about all I can reasonably expect. I'd like to have a career I like by then, I'd like to be with someone, I'd like to be on my own (or at least living with roommates/housemates/significant other of some sorts), and I'd like to have a community and church like I do now. But, I can't really control what will ultimately happen; sure, I'll have some influence over it with a few simple "yes" or "no" decisions... but outside of it, it's not in my hands.
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So yeah, now that I'm employed, my blogging frequency will drop once again. It's been a heck of a ride, these last 14-15 months. I've learned a lot about myself and God and life in that span. I'm grateful to finally have had some semblance of a childhood I always wanted but for some reason could never get. But since I'm (finally) employed, now is the time to put away childish things and grow up. Somehow. Maybe I already grew up and didn't notice.
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