I was off the blog when both Cotton (black and white) and Teya (tabby stripes) passed away -- but not when Maggie passed away -- but it hit me today that they both passed away within the same week, even if separated by a few years. Tomorrow marks the 6th anniversary of us putting Cotton down, but moreover (because it's how my obsessaholic mind works) it's the first time September 9th falls on a Monday since the day it happened.
I was there when it happened for Cotton: it began with me seeing her drag herself across the room by only her front paws (her hind paws stopped functioning -- she had just come out of the litter box), and ended with both my mom and I at the animal hospital seeing the vet euthanize her. Of course it hit me.
I wasn't there when Teya passed. Unlike her sister, she passed at home and in her sleep, overnight sometime going from September 14th into the 15th, two years ago. I last saw her, by God's grace, a month before she had passed. I was asked if I could cat-sit her at my home, and I said yes. By that point, I hadn't really seen her since I moved out (maybe once, for a few minutes). This time, I got a day, a night, and a day with her. When it was time for her to be picked up, I knew it was very possibly goodbye. She was old and looked it. I did treat it as the final time. I didn't expect it to be so soon, though.
In each case, I was swamped in the busyness of the season of life I was in. It wasn't until a few months after Teya's passing -- and when I saw specifically the above photo -- that began in earnest a grieving process, the realization that they both were gone. It also began a project of printing out photo after photo, not just of Cotton and Teya but of all sorts of important events over the years. Even though this project in itself got out of control (i.e. it was really fun and addictive), it began as a vehicle for a grieving process that I don't think would've come any other way.
I still remember the day they entered my life. It was August 3, 2007. We were only a few months after losing Maggie, and my last bird, Phillip, passed only a year earlier. Being without pets was still weird. The home felt empty. Having Cotton and Teya were huge blessings, and moreover they were emotional pick-me-ups. I can't imagine the following 10 years without them (6 with Cotton, 10 with Teya). Interestingly, though, I've spent the last almost 3 1/2 years without pets -- since I moved away -- and somehow I have managed. I don't know what the future holds in terms of pets -- I can't really be moved to think about it right now.
One more photo to remember one of the lighter moments with them.
