Devotionals from my Bible app: From Fear to Courage (John 3:21)

But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.” John 3:21, NKJV

Note before sharing the devotional: one of the most impactful men's weekend retreats I went on in terms of prayer and reflection came in the fall of 2014. On it, I was asked four different questions that carried weight and were each powerful in their own way. Ahead of the devotional, I will share three of them (as they go together), and I will share the final question afterward.

1. What is your fear?
2. What is your courage?
3. How do your fear and your courage impact your faith?

Below is a shortened version of how I answered all three questions at the time of this particular retreat:

1. I still struggled with fear at the outset of going on these weekend retreats, as these had brought up a persistent memory of being dropped off hundreds of miles away from home at a boarding school in mid-childhood. I also still struggled with showing up with what I really thought and felt about different things in life, and I especially struggled in that season with realizing that I needed to greatly diminish two unhealthy friendships that "felt" good to me but weren't good in the long run.
2. My courage, my growth edge, my act(s) of completely trusting in and surrendering to God included the following: going ahead on this weekend because by this point I knew what good things were awaiting me (and they were things that, if I received them, would help me grow as a man and in my faith); speaking my mind, speaking my struggles, facing my fears, and making better decisions regarding who I choose to trust and how I manage relationships with those that proved themselves untrustworthy (and not based on how "good" they made me feel).
3. Ultimately, how both my fear and my courage would impact my faith -- it would allow me to draw closer to God in faith; it would allow me an opportunity to experience Him more deeply; and it would give me greater confidence to act on things that might feel uncomfortable or scary, but relying not on my own understanding but rather God's, that can guide me into making better decisions in my life overall. And it would absolutely build my faith.

Similarly, truth is the vehicle that can help bring a person from fear to courage. On this same retreat I heard quite a bit of hard truth being spoken to me. But because I realized these were people I could trust, I received it. It wasn't fun to hear any of it, but it allowed me to find a way to respond to the feedback that I heard so that, with God's help, I could walk and talk in truth in ways I wasn't before. This also served as a great catalyst for incredible personal growth on this weekend.

From Fear to Courage


Have you ever had questions or doubts that you felt you had to figure out on your own?


Sometimes, we’re embarrassed to ask our questions because we think we should already know the answers. But Jesus invites us to bring all of our doubts, fears, and questions to Him.


In John 3, we see Nicodemus, a respected, religious man of influence, come to Jesus privately one night to ask him some questions.


Many people think Nicodemus came to Jesus at night because he was afraid the other Pharisees, who were always looking for ways to get rid of Jesus, would see Nicodemus and judge him.


As a Pharisee, Nicodemus had spent his entire life studying Scripture. But he still didn’t have all of the answers. Instead of relying on his own abilities and knowledge, Nicodemus set aside his pride and status and went to Jesus.


While Nicodemus may have been afraid of the Pharisees’ judgment, Jesus didn’t judge him. He welcomed Nicodemus’ questions and answered him with the truth.


In Jesus’ response to Nicodemus, He says this: “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.”


Jesus is saying that whoever lives by the truth and follows Him, lives in the light. Those who don’t live like Jesus, run away from the light and live in darkness.


Nicodemus approached Jesus at night out of fear of what others might think. But Jesus challenged him to live in the light and follow Him. This encounter with Jesus changed Nicodemus’ life. He no longer followed Jesus in the shadows. In John 7, he defended Jesus to the other Pharisees, and in John 19, he was there to bury Jesus’ body.


Just like Nicodemus, when we choose to walk with Jesus, we move from darkness to light and from fear to courage. And when we come to Jesus, He meets us where we are and guides us toward His truth.

Note after the devotional: the fourth question that was asked to me on that weekend was as follows:

What are you and God going to do with your one and only life?

It was on the first night of the retreat (three days, two nights in length), and I was placed on a chair outside (it was November, so, not very warm out - thankfully I was bundled up) for what seemed like an eternity (it may have been 45 minutes at most). It was under these conditions that I was left to reflect on this question. 

At the time, I had just had what had been a close friendship fracture within the previous couple of weeks, and my support team was using that to challenge what I had assumed and understood about this other person's motivation. We still got along and, with the help of both of our support teams (which included many of the same members) kind of worked out the issue. I still believe I got the brunt of the challenging feedback after having had my head bitten off by the friend when I tried to (gently) challenge him on his beliefs. 

Regarding the other previously-mentioned unhealthy friendship, it was a case where my support group had been pushing me to make a major change that was scary. In truth, it would be another year before I finally did, because when I had attempted to do so in this particular season, my friend did not respond to it well. Even with the support that I had had, I had no idea how to respond to my friend's response, and it would take a long time before I tried again to make the change. (A few years later, it ultimately fell apart altogether, and by that point it took almost a year to recover, as the loss of this friendship had a massive domino effect with other shared friendships.)

Outside of the immediate, I was completing Year 2 of attempting to do music as a full-time career, and about 6 to 9 months in with meeting with a business mentor to help me start building a small business. I had identified my vision and assembled my contracts, and I was soon to commence marketing. That's when I landed the job at Songs By Heart, which was at the time a pilot program. As such, that took over any attempts I might have made at really pushing to build the small business.

Beyond that, I was still living with my mom and stepdad (completed around 5 years there), and the nearest dating prospects were still some years away (and I was actually OK with that by this time). I was still living in fear in many practical ways, but I was also in the early stages of learning how to walk out my faith with courage. It takes courage to build a piano teaching practice from scratch, and that is what I did. It takes courage to cold-call multiple nursing homes to ask if they would be interested in contracting a paid musician to play (and even sing) nostalgia songs in memory care units at nursing homes, and I did that, too. It takes courage to say "no" to unhealthy friendships and set boundaries otherwise, and it takes courage to ask for greater connection with others who appeared to be safer and more mature, and I did those too.

As for what God and I are going to do with my one and only life, that is still a work in progress. I did eventually meet the woman of my dreams and marry her. I did change careers and now have a few years' experience under my belt in another field. With God's help, I've written a lot more music compositions over the last 4-5 years. And I like to think I've gained a much better understanding of goal-setting and holding myself accountable to reasonable goals in the spiritual and the physical, and am now attempting to do the same for the emotional and the creative.

Faith is indeed believing God for whatever His will is for your life, but sometimes that is measured in the personal and the practical rather than the grandiose. At the point of the aforementioned weekend retreat, this was most certainly the case. But in more recent years, believing God has accounted for larger and more significant things. Either way, faith is important for all manner of good things in life.

Prayer: God, thank You for inviting me to come to You with all my doubts, fears, and questions. Instead of relying on my own strength, may I seek You and Your truth in all things. Help me set aside my pride and approach You with humble heart. Transform my fears into courage, just as You did for Nicodemus. Guide me toward Your truth and Your light. In Jesus's name, Amen.