Lessons from 9-11, 2023 edition, Part 2: yet even greater humility required

I wrote the below on September 14th, just a few days after the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. In short, I'll say that 9/11 hit me harder this year than it has for a long time, in large part because, starting on the 10th and going through much of the week, I spent a lot of time watching videos of what happened this day, and the memories flooded back. Not only so, but I started to feel God downloading a lot of lessons for me, which began with what I wrote below, and hasn't stopped since. I'm hoping to be able to catch up and share it in a faithful manner.

After writing and refining the first post of this series, which ran yesterday on this blog, I thought it best to chop this series up even more. Originally planned to run as 1 post, it became 2, and now it's 3 posts. Also, out of respect for anyone who might feel uncomfortable viewing explicit images of the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, I wanted to separate the other reflections I felt God put on my heart, so as to allow them to be able to read these. As such, I continue:

Title: Main points in remembering 9/11 this year, part 2

(Continuing from yesterday)

 2.) 9-11 was much more than any single tragedy. I disagree with the phrase “1 death is a tragedy; 1 million deaths is a statistic” and replace with “1 death is a tragedy; 1 million deaths are 1 million simultaneous tragedies.” For me this was a lesson in humility. I want to use the example of the below picture:

It shows cars speeding away from the crash site. I don't know if one of the cars in this photo ended up colliding with another, but it sure looks that way. The point being: it occurred to me that if I was driving on a Manhattan street leading away from the World Trade Center and a car behind me rear ended me, I would actually selfishly be more upset about having gotten hit and demanded personal justice/accountability from the one driver (“my own personal tragedy”) than realize that the other driver was stressed and panicked trying to escape the danger zone. In this context this obviously would be stupid for me to get upset at this other driver, considering the events of that day. Point is, to apply this to other areas of my life. (In 2023 there are reports of Covid returning or something else coming to cause the same kinds of fear and confusion.)

3.) To never forget, but also to never wallow. There’s no sugarcoating it; 9/11 was horrible, and especially in this day and age seeing a tragic series of, well, tragedies occurring daily in our country’s fabric of life (not to mention our world’s), this feels like a US “holiday” that is more apropos than July 4th at this point. In the last 22 years we have not only forgotten 9-11 but also forgotten what kind of country we were supposed to be. At the same time, while we still have time, we must repent. I must repent. Whether it’s forgetting 9-11 or forgetting God Himself, we and I must take advantage of the time that is now (but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13, NKJV), and return to the Lord. And part of the redemption work that we need, that can only be done via the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, is to lay aside every encumbrance that ensnares us. (Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, Hebrews 12:1, NKJV) It’s not only sin although it certainly includes it. (I only learned this recently - it’s also one’s own personal baggage.) It’s also one’s own personal baggage. Ouch. So much for complaining about being rear ended by a fellow citizen who, like me, is also trying to flee the carnage and the impending carnage to unfold. (This is from the theoretical scenario I used in bullet point #2.)

PAUSE: I tread lightly for those who lost loved ones on that horrible day. Nothing can replace those losses. Period. So this advice, which is primarily for myself, as well as for any others to whom this would resonate, is not meant to be used for someone who suffered such a horrific loss. At least not for some time after the tragedy. But I would posit that after some time this important lesson would apply even to them. Eventually enough time will have passed that one’s life without their lost loved one will be normal. That person is gone, period. 

4.) Greater humility is required of me. I know that the above - not wallowing - applies to me because, while I am blessed and very grateful to not have lost anyone super close in such a horrific way, I still to this day have a fierce hatred for trials and tribulations, specifically when they extend beyond what I believe I can handle. What this hatred is rooted in is having endured a series of trials of different kinds, really from conception through my entire childhood and long into adulthood. Until really the last few years to a decade, I had no clue where God was. I still don’t. But there’s only so much shaking one’s fist at heaven can do. (Which is not much.) Not only that, but that kind of attitude, especially over the long term, has led to a sentence of not only death but eternal separation from God.

News flash: that means hell, and that’s bad.

The reason I say I have been able to see and experience God’s hand after such trials is because the times I did see Him, it was only after I finally gave up being angry. Not only that but also gave up being selfish and stubborn, at least for that time. Coming out of previous trials has resulted in a lot of loss, loss of the things to which my angry and defiant thoughts and emotions. Because though of those angry thoughts and feelings I don’t know what potential rewards I have lost that I would have had if I had just chosen to stay faithful, despite my intense thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It took losing all of that stuff for me to realize and change. But because I finally repented and humbled myself, only then could the results of God’s work finally manifest themselves. 

Considering all of this, I’m one of the lucky ones. (I know this has nothing to do with luck; it’s just that at this place from which I’m writing this, considering myself “lucky” speaks louder to me than the word “blessed”. It is what it is. So…) I consider myself one of the lucky ones. Countless people have died and gone to hell because they didn’t do this or realize this until it was far too late. I’m realizing it early but I’m trying now to get myself to learn this before I lose my current blessings and have to start all over yet again. After all, even Jesus has commented that for the faithless, even what little that person has will be taken away from them (To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. Matthew 25:29, New Living Translation), if they don’t realize and repent and change. 

Even though He has spared me from death thus far, I have had to lose other potential blessings and rewards simply because I flat-out didn’t believe. And I have noticed God has been warning me again lately about this. And even before I met my sweetie pie I had a dream that warned me about my baggage and how it could cost me if I didn’t pay attention to how it still affects my life. As I write it is now a little over 300 days to our wedding. The venue and the photographer have been booked, and because our reception is at a restaurant, nothing is booked yet but will once we cross over into the new year. But, 300 days is still a lot of time to screw things up. 300 days is a lot of time to stop believing, stop prioritizing my relationship with God, and go back to old habits.

Keith Green wrote a song called “So You Wanna Go Back To Egypt.” It’s a Biblical pop song; it doesn’t quote verses from the Bible but it captures the essential message of the Israelites’ sinful murmuring attitude with modern references (like “manna soufflé” for example). It captures their complaints as if they were wandering through the Egyptian/Arab desert during the late-1970s or early-1980s.

Also I recently watched a YouTube video that talked about the first signs of spiritual decline or backsliding. Three of the four mentioned points indicated a lack of desire for connecting with God in His Word, an inconsistent prayer life, and intentionally withdrawing from a healthy community of other believers. All of these are important to watch out for. But the one that stood out the most, especially as it pertains to the topic at hand, indicated that a return to old habits, especially due to a lack of spending time in God’s Word and in prayer, is a very clear indication of a person’s spiritual backsliding.

I mention these two things because of the point I made earlier about returning to old habits. Even this far into my life, let alone my Christian walk, I still have found ways to backslide and completely forget God, leading me to thoughts, feelings, and yes sometimes even behaviors that are not pleasing to God.

So I repent. Again.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9, NKJV