Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Numbers 14 and a Biblical take on developmental teenagerhood

Reading check-in:

I have a confession to make. I’ve been falling behind on the reading program this last week. As of the writing of this post, I am somewhat caught up. One thing I’m learning, though, is that the point isn’t to “hit” every reading every day, on time. The point, as far as I’m concerned, is to be developing the habit of reading the Bible regularly and getting used to doing it every day. In the recovery aspect of my personal growth work, the mindset isn’t focused solely on avoiding relapsing, but rather developing and maintaining a manner of pure living, which over time, becomes an ingrained habit to the point that a relapse will no longer “undo” all the gains made. I’m applying the same mentality to my Bible reading.

I’ve generally white-washed this entire section of Scripture, from the point the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, to the point when they finally entered the Promised Land in Canaan, some 40 years later, as “the time the Israelites wouldn’t shut up and stop complaining, and God got fed up.” Sure, there were construction instructions for the Ark of the Covenant, among other items, as well as the laws (basically the entire book of Leviticus, which I rather enjoyed reading this time around). But, in terms of this part of the history of God and His people, it could be summed up in the passage below:

Israel Refuses to Enter Canaan

14 So all the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that night. And all the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to them, “If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in this wilderness! Why has the Lord brought us to this land to fall by the sword, that our wives and children should become victims? Would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?” So they said to one another, “Let us select a leader and return to Egypt.”

Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces before all the assembly of the congregation of the children of Israel.

But Joshua the son of Nun and Caleb the son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had spied out the land, tore their clothes; and they spoke to all the congregation of the children of Israel, saying: “The land we passed through to spy out is an exceedingly good land. If the Lord delights in us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us, ‘a land which flows with milk and honey.’ Only do not rebel against the Lord, nor fear the people of the land, for they are our bread; their protection has departed from them, and the Lord is with us. Do not fear them.”

10 And all the congregation said to stone them with stones. Now the glory of the Lord appeared in the tabernacle of meeting before all the children of Israel.

Numbers 14:1-10, NKJV

I feel like this passage sums up the aforementioned swath of Scripture that I’ve admittedly painted with a broad brushstroke. Here, it is crystal clear that the Israelites could have entered the land in Canaan much earlier than they did! A perfect opportunity! But, no, “we wanna go back to Egypt! Waaahhh!!!

I’m not going to beat them up, though. They ended up getting what they deserved in the end, which was to spend the rest of their days wandering in the desert and dying there, so there’s no reason to dump on them extra. I’m also not going to beat up on them because I know what it’s like to be in that place of utter lack of faith and nonstop complaining.

Ironically, as a child, particularly the second half of my childhood, I would say I was likely to be remembered as “the kid that was chill and never rebelled or complained about anything.” Most teenagers either rebel or complain, and I imagine most of my peers did, whether it was at home or at school. I didn’t. I had learned, to some level anyway, to comply, to suck it up, to put my head down, and do the work that was in front of me. Which at that time was homework, and a lot of it. It worked.

However, once it became apparent that I needed extra help actually transitioning to adulthood, it involved (required?) a tear-down approach where, among other things, I re-learned how to basically be a human being. Part of that process, which I wouldn’t realize until it was happening, also included going through “the teenage stage,” which apparently, I kinda didn’t do. What experts once discovered and theorized and has since more or less become public knowledge, teenagerhood (as I understand it) is the stage where a child is beginning to test out his own voice and pursuing his own independence while still in the very necessary constrains of home and school. Teenagers, very simply put, are flexing the beginnings of their adult muscles. However, this stage is also marked by a severe lack of maturity to react or handle things well (at first, anyway), and for many this testing of their own voice and independence comes out as complaining, and a lot of it.

When I was an actual teenager, that wasn’t me. But I now realize that I also didn’t go through the other very necessary things that accompany that stage, not until the second half of my healing journey. There were circumstances and events that felt unfair, plus a few that even to this day I believe were just flat-out wrong. But what I know now that I didn’t then was that, like so many of those teenagers, I gave in to complaining. I may still not have done it a lot outwardly, but my prayer life with God was littered with complaints, to the point that it was every day: “God, why didn’t You do this?!” or “Why did You let this happen?!” or “I’m unhappy because You put me in this circumstance!!!” etc.

This went on for a year, for two years, for three years, and finally, in the fourth year of my being in this stage, enough of the right kinds of challenges arranged themselves in my life to shut up my complaining and bring me back to my knees. Based on what I understand now, I do think that is a key crucible to adulthood. The one silver lining of complaining is at least the person knows that they have a voice and has the confidence to use it. But it immediately gets outweighed by the fact that they lack faith and appear to not care that they lack faith, or even don’t want to learn to develop faith.

That’s the step that an entire generation of Israelites either would not or could not do. Ordinarily, it would be easy and tempting to feel sorry for them. However, the Bible also has made it clear that these same people saw God do miracles time and time again. Scripture shows that these people either did not trust God to keep doing miracles, and/or got upset because the miracles that He was doing were not the type of miracles they wanted to see. Sure, it’s “cool” to see an ocean get split in two so you can walk through it. But it might not be as “cool” when you get used to seeing a pillar of cloud (or fire) just hanging around instead of killing bad guys, or when food that you might not think of as particularly tasty rains down in the middle of a vast desert. And so someone (or a whole population) with what amounts to teenager-level (im)maturity will choose to complain or rebel instead of grow their faith muscle, because they hadn’t let themselves learn that there was so much more to the God they followed than just what “cool” stuff He could do for them.

Apostle Paul’s exhortation to the church in Philippi speaks to this effect as well:

14 Do all things without complaining and disputing, 15 that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. Philippians 2:14-15, NKJV

It’s what I still must practice, on all fronts. On one front, I still got The Girl, which is still awesome. But now that we’ve been together for over two years, I’ve kind of forgotten what it’s like to be available-single (not that I want to go back there again!), speaking to the fact of the novelty wearing off, even for such a great blessing. Plus, on another front, I’m still developing my faith/adult muscles when it comes to working in a corporate environment. While I can boast a certain measure of growth and maturity in some areas, I see how easily I can still get triggered in others. But at least if I continue to remember the Lord (as it seems to so often say in the Old Testament), then I can be assured that I will learn more things and grow some more.

I don’t know how much more I’ll be able to blog about my Bible reflections. Things have gotten busier again, and I’m at the point of needing to clear a few items off my to-do list for the foreseeable future. With God’s help, I will exercise wisdom in terms of clearing what need not be on my plate and keeping what should remain.

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