October, I’m realizing, is kind of a funny month for me. More than most months, if I look back through the year, I don’t find October particularly memorable. Certain months stand out over others: April, May, July, September, November, and December, in terms of memorable days, memorable events, or memorable moments.
Interestingly, I seem to have much keener memories, images, and smells that come to mind when I think about September and November. It’s still kind of summer in September; while the days are rapidly getting shorter, the temperatures still reach the 80s during the day, and I have memories of going for walks, playing mini-golf, going on trips, and so on. I suppose I may be mixing some of my August memories with September, but honestly, ever since I graduated from college with my Bachelor’s, both months have typically felt the same to me.
November, for many years, was when I went on retreats up in Wisconsin with some friends. The nights began early, there was a fire in the fire pit, and we would bundle up outside wearing sweatshirts, sweaters, or coats, depending on the outside temperature, and it would be a powerful time of ministry and healing. Mid-November, when these retreats happens, is usually when the leaves are all down, and you could see the setting sun poking through the naked tree branches. There might be a very light snowfall; there might not.
December is when everyone goes holiday-nuts. I typically haven’t participated in all the hoopla around decorating, because I haven’t had the space to use nor the money to spend. My dad has Christmas-colored lights up on the wall year-round, so it’s something. But December to me is when we finally get to hear “good music,” and dress up in red, green, and gold, as a way to get into the holiday spirit. And every street and house is lighted with Christmas lights. It’s a great way to beat the “sun sets at 4PM” (almost) blues.
April and May bring spring colors, and July brings fireworks and celebrating our nation’s birthday. Because I first started dating my love in February, February is fast becoming another very memorable month for setting aside time to celebrate. It’s also becoming very memorable because, for the first time in my life, Valentine’s Day feels special.
I realize that not every month can be memorable, but October? It seems like, more so than any other month, I couldn’t tell you why I can’t really think of events or memories that were memorable. It’s in the heart of “days getting rapidly shorter” season, which doesn’t help. Halloween is a holiday I almost never have celebrated, and even the rare times when I participated, it wasn’t quite something I got really into. Now, deeper into my faith, I’ve learned about the negative spiritual origins of the holiday, and how various churches and cultures try to cover it up and dress it up as either a cultural holiday or a day on the church’s calendar (the more traditional churches are the ones that do this). I agree to avoid it now, on those grounds.
Maybe it’s because I tune out the holiday of the month. Or maybe it’s because the days are rapidly getting shorter, a sure prelude that we will soon be settling in for another winter. For some reason, though, this year, as soon as the calendar flipped from September 30th to October 1st, it’s like the sky suddenly got much darker. I’ve never noticed it that jarring before. It could have been the weather. But I sense it may be something else: even though the days in November and December are shorter, October feels like the darkest month of the year. Maybe it’s because we don’t have snow flurries that somehow keep the sky at dusk-like levels at night. Or maybe it’s because the entire month of October is Halloween-crazy, thanks to all the marketing that goes on to promote all sales related to the holiday.
If it weren’t for the fact that my dad has a birthday this month, I would probably have absolutely no memories to where, if I were to ask myself: what do I think/see/hear/smell when I think of October? Trees that still have a few scattered yellow leaves on them that just need to be on the ground already?
Before I close this post, I want to make clear that this is not meant to be a post complaining about it being October now. I’m grateful to be alive even in this month. It’s just that it so happens that I’m coming across a section of the year that, for various reasons, doesn’t happen to be particularly memorable for me right now. And that’s ok. Life is good. God is good. And with God’s help, I am moving one step closer toward more blessings that He has for me.
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