On Sexuality, Part 5: The Reward for Faithfulness, Sexually

I wanted to close this series on a positive note. Unlike my church, which spent two-and-a-half months (nine Sundays) on this topic, I'm only going five posts deep. Even if I haven't convinced you or changed your mind about sexuality, about homosexuality, or about marriage, I hope that I've at least broken down some of the lies that have separated us.

I wanted to share one of my favorite verses in the Bible:

If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. 

Deuteronomy 24:5, NIV

It's mostly my human self that loves this verse, but my spiritual self also loves it because it's a reward for premarital faithfulness and celibacy. What's often happened across Bible-teaching churches across the US is they've done well teaching about the importance of not having sex outside of marriage, but I don't know that they (or secular society, for that matter) has done well at teaching about enjoying sex within marriage. Given where we as a society on the whole are with work and with money ... (basically a large majority of the people who are able to work, work all the time and don't get to have much in the way of time off. Even most vacations that companies allow are 2 weeks per year and unpaid) ... we just don't have dang time for this stuff. "It's just not important enough." I think that's a shame, because as a sex-crazed culture, it's clear that we have made enough time for sex. We just somehow choose not to engage in it in the way that God desires and has expressed as such many, many, many times (or so we've preached) in the Bible.

But there is a reward for doing it God's way. If we were to turn the tide, first by not falling victim to the thinking that "there's nothing we can do;" second, by telling people that if we obeyed God's commands (and more importantly, accept Jesus as Savior and Lord) we would be rewarded; and third, by expressly sharing about God's promises and rewards. Most people who reject Jesus do so under the guise that the Bible is full of terrible things. They know nothing, and I mean, nothing, about all the good stuff that is present. Like the above verse I just mentioned. I mean, seriously, if people actually knew about and bought in to Deuteronomy 24:5, how many of them would wait until marriage before having sex? Imagine the payoff of celibacy before marriage being doing nothing but having sex with your spouse and love of your life for an entire year! (OK, my description may be a tad extreme, but I'm doing it intentionally.) Just imagine it, though... wouldn't that be quite the reward for waiting? And the reward for committing? Not to mention, the experience would be more meaningful than a series of hookups in which it would be a different partner every time.

Depending on what happens, I still dream of even a slim version of this possibility for myself when I do marry. I already know the difficulties of staying celibate before marriage. (I was able to succeed in this in the one relationship I was in, but man was it hard!) That said, I also know that I would like for both me and my future wife to have some kind of reward for maintaining purity. Getting married and then having a one-week honeymoon before we go back to the rat race just doesn't seem to cut it.

I have in two previous (more recent) instances dreamed up what such a picture might look like. Instead of sharing details (even though the details of my thoughts more logistical and not really steamy at all), I thought I might share a few pictures of what such a season could look like or include. For starters, I would hope for there to be some travel:

There's also something to be said for the journey aspect of traveling, whether by car, by plane, by train, or even by boat:

And of course, some comforts...

"It's a honeymoon, for goodness' sake!" In all seriousness, though, I often think that we too easily limit ourselves when we dream. There's a very good possibility that a number of things I would hope for don't end up happening. Nonetheless, it's good to know that God wants to celebrate marriage and celebrate the taking of this big step. And to sum up this series, if we do things God's way -- if I do the things God wants, God's way -- then we can expect incredible good to come out of it. And the Bible is chock full of promises He makes:

For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.” 

Genesis 18:19, NIV

Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. 

Genesis 21:1-2, NIV

“‘The days are coming,’ declares the Lord, ‘when I will fulfill the good promise I made to the people of Israel and Judah. In those days and at that time I will make a righteous Branch sprout from David’s line; he will do what is just and right in the land. In those days Judah will be saved and Jerusalem will live in safety. This is the name by which it will be called: The Lord Our Righteous Savior.’ 

Jeremiah 33:14-16, NIV

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 

2 Peter 3:9, NIV