From The Inside Out: a retrospective and a prospective

A thousand times I've failed, still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again, still I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never-ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame 

Your will, above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing You praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never-ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame 

In my heart, in my soul, Lord, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out, Lord
Let justice and peace become my embrace
To love You from the inside out 

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never-ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, Lord, my soul cries out 

--"From The Inside Out," Joel Houston, Hillsong United

This song was one of the first that really hit me, spoke to me, and ministered to me, when I first began attending the Evanston Vineyard Church. The thought of being changed from the inside out was all too wonderful for me, given where I was then. And, through multiple means, I have been changed quite a bit.

I probably hadn't thought about this song, until literally last night, when my girlfriend mentioned that her worship band was doing it today at her church. Then, today at lunch, Hope for Artists (the ministry that I'm on the team) met to look ahead to our next season beginning in October. Somehow, between the two sets of conversations, it clicked for me to connect with this song. It's possible, nay, likely, that God is once again highlighting this song.

It's interesting reflecting back almost a decade when I first heard it and soaked it up. It is very much a heart cry song, after all. It's particularly interesting now, because I've learned a lot about myself, including the fact that I really don't want to surrender my circumstances over to God or to anyone else. This song pushes directly against that belief I have. And yet, just over the last couple days I've either had circumstances or am currently having circumstances, where I feel a lot more at peace and more willing to surrender it to Jesus than I would have just a few months ago. I can't really expound more because the story is being written out, right now, in real time.