Aurora Conference, Pt 2

So I didn't get around to the stuff Todd White said. This'll probably from a stream-of-consciousness format (which is pretty much no format at all), to follow in line with the whole truth of never looking back but instead only to God. I suppose that's because the devil wants us to look back and specifically look back on our sins and things that make us guilty. The enemy wants us to forget all that Jesus did for us, you know, the whole dying-and-resurrecting-and-his-holy-blood-covers-all-us thing. In the Gospels Jesus rebukes the devil and demons quite a few times. We're not supposed to do it because we're not perfect. The minute we look back we remember all the stuff that never really happened because Jesus' blood covered it. The idea is that once we say "Yes Lord" we are free from ourselves and everything associated with living for ourselves. We're supposed to be addicted to love, addicted to Jesus. Once that happens, nothing else matters. Not jobs, not money, not homes, not even relationships with other people (I'll explain exactly what I mean in a minute)... This is how God's in control: he gives us words, and we do it.

[The reason I said what I said about relationships with other people is not that they're unimportant -- they are by all means important -- but it pales in comparison with relationship with God. I care so much about my relationship with people (including what the devil calls "failed" relationships) that it's hard for me not to have my mood affected by the goods and bads surrounding it. I want to have great relationships -- including one awesome and personal relationship with the only one person that one can have (you can figure out what I mean by that) -- so that I can use them to glorify God further. I dunno, maybe it's a "need" thing. OK, done, back to the main theme.]

Truth is, having spent my life in a church, I've known about God and Jesus dying to save us for years, and even several years knowing other deeper things. Going to this conference, I wondered if anything was going to strike me, especially considered my heart had been hardened for a while and I had trouble even merely feeling things. It wasn't Todd's words -- or anyone else's words -- that really hit me; it was the actions. I told you last post about how we practiced prophesying for each other before hitting the town, and it was in that that I felt the most of anything. I did receive prayer Friday night to get rid of the hardened heart (from Robby Dawkins himself! altho' to be honest, even Robby would say that it is not because of him, for anyone else that prayed would equally be called quality prayer vessels/channels from God). It happened. Now the challenge is for me to never harden myself again, and it's going to be difficult. But the truth is I can't force myself to do it; it has to just happen, just like when I prophesied or prayed and essentially felt like I did nothing and yet something happened.