This morning I went to St. James Cathedral in downtown Chicago. Even had the pleasure of driving down and back, too. It was an oddly interesting experience being in an Episcopal church again. Back in April, when I came down for Easter weekend, I took some time to reflect (this was probably on Good Friday when kneeling was a requirement for much of my time at church) about my journey over the last five years, and how I essentially broke apart from the denomination in which I grew up. I mean, in Northfield, when I do make it to church, I usually go to St. John's (ELCA), and occasionally to Emmaus (Baptist).
That was not the case this time. Right now I feel at home where I am, so my reflections were more based on coming back to a space that gave me memories from childhood, while being detached from any sense of longing. Throughout the service, I started thinking about my own framework, specifically centered at the relationship God and I have shared, and branching outward to friends, literature, and communities. Instead of constraining myself to labels (either denominational or religious), I declare myself as myself and let other people apply their own labels if it makes them feel better. I don't consider myself a Christian, and I don't consider myself a non-Christian. But if I explained everything I believe in a quick summary to someone, I might fall into a category. Who knows?
Joy Rogers, this morning's presiding priest, is the Cathedral's Dean there. She used to be a clergy member at the church I grew up, so that's my connection to her. Our Gospel this morning came from a part of John where Jesus talks about how he is the living bread, and this was consequently the main topic of her sermon. One cool anecdote from her St. Luke's days had someone from the altar guild midway through the service on an emergency run to the church kitchen to thaw out some more communion bread in the microwave (as there were more people than bread available). Another event (maybe the same one? I zoned out a bit in the middle) had her serving the bread at communion, and after giving the blessing of the bread to one little child, he replied "It's still warm!"
Ah, memories. But I'm in a place where I don't need to long for them. Being out in the world in the last year has allowed me to start making my own judgments on things and feeling comfortable doing so. A big issue in my religious odyssey that I haven't talked about much was how much I got jerked around by people of multiple beliefs/opinions. After taking time to read and explore, I feel solid in my own interpretation of things, and I have more comfort with it based on how much information I have.
I leave for Ohio tomorrow, return on Wednesday, and take off for Houston on Thursday. Pray for rain. [tongueincheekface]
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