And pour contempt on all my pride

As I was listening to a prayer request from a friend a couple days ago, he raised a rather unique perspective as to his--and other people's--struggles. He had asked me to pray that he would get his rear in gear and study for a test that was coming up pretty quickly, and continued on to rationalize why it was so hard just to study, just to "do it." As he was explaining, it had dawned on me that personal, selfish pride was another obstacle that I had to either remove or jump over in order to get closer to a consistent spiritual relationship with God, as well as a more consistent friendship/relationship/whichever term sounds better--with several people that I surround myself every day.

I'm now seriously pondering looking for work in a new direction. With just over 1/3 of the summer complete, if I were to ever be able to succeed in a job search I realized I would need to consider working during the fall (I know, too much homework about to come up in 2 months, and *gag*). Looking at my summer spendings, I've been trying to minimalize it as much as possible, only paying for vision therapy appointments, gas, food (both at the Caf and from other places), and housing. But even though I know I need to work, for some reason I've been struggling [over the past several years] to get over the hump of just "doing it," or getting to work.

This is where that stupid pride comes in. Aside from my occasional nervousness of calling people, applying for jobs that I'm not sure what I'm doing at places that I don't know, there's always this tugging feeling that I should only hold out for the best possible opportunity. Not only in paycheck, but in the type of work (ideally it would be music or sport-related), and convenience.

So this all rushed through my head in the approximately five-minute sequence while he was recounting how this pride was keeping him from staying on top of studying for his class. I told him I would pray for him, and when he asked me for my prayer request, I more or less told him about the whole not-getting-a-job bit.

And it's kind of funny, that I've been giving tours all week (except for this afternoon, when I had an appointment in Owatonna), that as the week has progressed, I've become more of a willing public servant, in body, mind and spirit, than I was at the beginning of the week.

So I will go to Bible study in the lounge tonight. And my friend is leading the discussion. I honestly don't know what we may discuss, but I know it will get me thinking some more. And maybe it will lead me to be more active, continually progressing on the path God wants me to go.